A simplified resume for any situation.
***Recently I have seen a lot of recommendations on how to write a resume, how to publish a resume, how to tailor a resume and whether the old written version or the new graphic version is more better than the other. After mulling all of the recommendations, and just to have a little fun over my lunch break, I thought I would share a very simplified resume--where anyone can just cut and paste and modify to your specific work experience. This just might preclude any of us from having to ever write or tailor another one again.***
Insert your name here:
A pension to just get “er” done. Whatever “er” is that needs done getting.
Skills: A lot of stuff. I can think. I can do. I can listen. I can act. I can give directions. I can take direction. I know how to manage. I know how to work. I know how to lead. I know how to follow. I know how to get out of the way. I can make people happy. I can irritate people. I can ignore people. I have perfected an ability to accept being ignored. I sometimes know how to not do any work, but I usually get caught after about 5 minutes of not working. I am not very subtle don't you know? ( I know you really shouldn't throw a question into your resume but I kind of like the personal touch.) As a unique original performer, perfecting my performance in stuff doing along the way, I have garnered a lot of multi-dimensional cross cutting skills in a lot of stuff.
Experience: A lot of experience casting a net, any net widely, over a lot of stuff. I was allowed to start working when I was (insert what is germane to your situation) years old. My parents thought that it would be good for me to learn responsibility. I have carried that with me throughout my life in a variety of capacities and in doing a lot of stuff:
· Work. Hard work. Easy work. Mundane work. Difficult work. Bureaucratic work. Organizational work. Challenging work. Frustrating work. Rewarding work. Manual work. Non-manual work. Administrative work. Educational work. Tactical work. Operational work. Strategic work. Work planning. Work doing. Work observing. Work assessing. Critical work. Mindboggling work. Leading work. Managing work. Unbelievable work. Just work. Simply, a lot of work.
· Landscape engineer (i.e. mowed lawns, raked leaves and shoveled snow, sometimes planted flowers, sometimes mowed over flowers due to an inability in telling the difference between a flower and a weed, cultivated dirt, sometimes grew grass and trees that then created a need to cut grass or rake leaves—I was entrepreneurial),
· Lunchroom supervisor,
· Sales (vacuum cleaners/encyclopedias) (insert whatever is germane to you),
· Government stuff (a plethora of non-descript things like leadership, management, mentoring, educating, training, collaboration, assisting, gaining insights, gaining knowledge, marketing, communicating, and just a lot of stuff doing),
· Industry stuff,
· Development stuff,
· Novice Writer of stuff,
· Creative maladjusted non-conf