Ken Boddie in Poetry Ambassador • beBee Mar 19, 2017 · 5 min read · 4.0K

More o' me rhymes, and other word crimes - Vol II

More o' me rhymes, and other word crimes - Vol II

Back by popular reprimand - another 'collection of my comments' in appreciation of a select few of your many buzzes which attracted my attention, whether by subtle means, by barbed hook, or by chance. Some might say a 'travesty of comments', others more charitably, a 'chortle of comments', as we sail our way through the uncharted waters of this beBee phenomenon.

As fellow producer bees, we often tend to focus primarily on the production of our own posts, whether in long or short form, and absorb the impact that the posts of others may have had on us, as we beg, borrow or steal ideas and info for our next post; and we forget that many of us spend more time reading the posts of others and composing adequately complementary responses to their well laid out thoughts and suggestions, hoping that our feedback will help satisfy their appetite for producing more.

So, "All aboard!", clutch in, put her in first gear, little bit of throttle, clutch slowly out, and steady as she goes! Let's take another drive down Memory Lane.

First stop is at the buzz of Donna-Luisa Eversley, (DLE, my favourite bee, from T&T), who tagged me in her Social Media Citizens post featuring the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC): 

Perhaps BBC stands for beBee Citizens?
Glad to be tagged, 
'Cause you know what they say, 
A tag a day, 
Keeps the doctor away.

Fellow photographer, Kevin Pashuk, posted an impressive pic using his new telephoto lens:

Hand-held on 600mm? You obviously don't drink much. I assume that you must need to shoot at no slower than say 1/250sec or 1/320sec to get this degree of definition? By the way, I had a buddy with the shakes due to an over-enthusiastic pursuit of alcohol. When I asked him if he drank a lot he told me, "No! I spill most of it!"

I responded to one of Dean Owen's many interesting recipes with a totally unwarranted and, I suspect, unappreciated comment:

Reminds me, Dean-san, of the drunk who had to interrupt his meal to throw up ('chunder' or 'technicolour yawn' as we say down under) but he didn't quite make it to the porcelain goddess's chamber. Instead of turning left he went right and ended up in the alleyway. Since time and tide, and a beer battered stomach, wait for no man, he created an impressive vocal vomit trajectory which completely engulfed a squatting toad. Still reeling from the stench of his dalliance, the drunk proclaimed "Funny, I don't remember eating that!"

Lisa 🐝 Gallagher bemoaned the advent of an intrusive 'bot' which was commenting, to her frustration, on virtually everything she wrote on beBee: 

Well, Lisa, I guess I must really be a luddite, as my concept of a 'bot' to date has been purely anatomical. Now when someone says that you've got a 'hot bot' you have several options and only one relates to that new bikini you've just purchased. I am also reliably informed that a 'hot bot' is the larvae of a botfly, a parasite which, in this case, has spent way too much time inside its source animal, the horse, and now needs a cooling breath of fresh air.

Can't remember in response to whom I wrote this 'ad-verse':

If Maine was in Spain,
Would the rain on the plain,
Still flow down the drain?

Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman reminded us not to be disrespectful of each other's posts and comments:

A timely reminder, Franci, that some of us need to put our manners back in, and so 

Let's be nice,

That's my advice,

From nasty let's abstain!


Please keep respect,

When you interject,

We're here to entertain!

Then, later, 🐝 Fatima Williams cautioned us on the same subject:

Well said, Fatima! and, furthermore:
Let's not forget,
When we interject,
To keep our manners,
And maintain some respect!

(You will have doubtless noted by now that there are only a few rhymes for the word 'respect'. 🤣)

Kevin Pashuk posted on the uses of adages and metaphors:

Hey Kev, my fellow Aussies, who live beyond the black stump, particularly those with a kangaroo loose in the top paddock, would, of course, quick as a rat up a drain pipe, or a lizard drinkin', respond to your tea bag metaphor by stating that your whole idea's a storm in a tea cup. But there again who am I to cut loose? I don't have a clue what a meta's for!

Javier 🐝 beBee suggested a list of dietary requirements, including virgin olive oil and salad.  But I assumed there was a comma missing: 😟

I appear to be following your above healthy list of food, Javier.

Whole meal bread, pasta and rice - Tick.

Lots of fruit and vegetables - Tick.

Just love fish - Tick.

Don't eat much meat - Tick.

Now, these days, where can I find a virgin, with whom I may eat my salad and olive oil?

Claire L 🐝 Cardwell taught us various uses for monster cane rats in South Africa:

These cane rats are the size of domestic cats, Claire!!!!!!! Gives a new meaning to a Big Mac! Has McDonald's heard of these big fellas? Just as well Colonel Saunders wasn't born in SA or else we'd all be eating KFR instead of KFC !
Begs the question, if your rats are the size of cats, do you send in the lions to catch them?

Renée 🐝 Cormier gave us some useful tips on presentations:

All good points, Renée. Personally I love to move around and interact with my audience, talking to individuals occasionally and asking the odd rhetorical question directly. I often introduce my preference to walk and talk by explaining that I played the bagpipes in my younger years in Scotland and, like all good bagpipers, learned to walk while playing. After all, a moving target is much more difficult to hit.

Susan Rooks' pre-Xmas Friday Funday reminded me of this 'cross my heart and hope to die', true , honest to goodness tale:

Santa has been having a particularly gruelling time on his travels this year, Susan, what with having to avoid scud missiles and having been blown off course by the occasional 737. So he was pretty frassled when he got home to find a little fairy elf holding a Xmas tree. "What would you like me to do with this, Santa?" the fairy asked ..... and now you know why, next year, there'll be a fairy on the top of your Xmas tree.

Gert Scholtz skillfully compared 'catching a wave' with the on-set of so many posts on our feed:

I would love to surf all your waves, Gert, but as you say, the feeds are coming quicker all the time and they often disappear after about 24 hours. Congratulations on your half century and also thanks to @Kevin Pashuk for tagging your buzz in one of his recent posts. What I like about your posts, and also those from 'The Boys from The Gap', such as @Dean Owen, @Pascal Derrien and @Paul Walters, are the variety of straight forward, honest to goodness story telling they portray, along with a personal infusion of character; without the BS, posturing, condescension and politics often found elsewhere. Here's to the next half century!

Following Lyon Brave’s depiction of a horror time in Beijing:

I loved my vacation in China, Lyon, but there again, I'm at that old man stage of life when I'd rather bypass the cloggy bogs and pay for the package tour. China on a shoestring sucks but China with the cracks painted over isn't half bad. Don't think too badly of the Middle Kingdom, Lyon. With 1.3 bill people there's bound to be a few arseholes to clog bogs.... and at least one too many Sarah's.

When Jackie M posted a recipe for beef rendang:

@Jackie M. please don't mistake my clumsiness in the kitchen and pride in the culinary capabilities of my better half as feigned futility and male chauvinism (not necessarily in that corresponding order) but, if it tastes like my Indonesian wife's rendang (particularly on the second day) and smells like my wife's rendang, then either the recipe is spot on, or it is indeed my wife's rendang.
The other test is, of course, the 'next morning test', whereby if it's hot on the way in and it's hot on the ...... perhaps I'd better stop there, as it's a family show. 🤣

Inspired by a 'Hare Guitar' post from Pascal Derrien:

Do you, @Pascal Derrien and @Franci Eugenia Hoffman, 'Remember When Rock was Young'? 'Me and Susie' Q had so much fun that it drove 'Queen' out of the closet and, with 'No Education and No Thought Control', we had to replace that 'Brick in the Wall' with a 'Rolling Stone'. 'Eric' was 'Burden'ed by all these 'Animals', like 'Surfer Joe', who 'Wiped Out' that 'Yellow Submarine' chasing 'Bill Haley's' comet, with 'Blondie' in the back seat, on route to the 'Love Shack'. That's where the 'Trouble' started when the 'Boss' came in, closed all 'The Doors', and gave us 'The Byrd(s)'. 'God Save the Queen!'

Paul Walters' post on Sri Lanka inspired:

Sigiriya (the Lion Rock Fortress) was the high point for me, Paul; literally, figuratively and spiritually; when I visited Sri Lanka some 40 years ago. I went there on a whim, fired up by a Sri Lankan family I accidentally sat next to when watching the Ramayana being performed in Singapore (now there's a tale on its own). That visit has stayed in my mind all these years. Funny how some of the best times we have can be spontaneous, or even accidental, and, by contrast, how
"The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew."  Rabbie Burns

Following Kevin Pashuk's post on Genuine People:

It's a lot easier, Kev, for us to be genuine, true blue, didgeridoo, when we've been around the block as often as a 5 dollar note in a pawn shop. But it's a lot more difficult for youngsters starting out, trying to get a break, and being told they're not wanted cause they've got no experience, the wrong experience, or no matching skills. Might be enough to make your Jim Collins en'titled' to meet up with Johnny Walker? Certainly, being one of the Pretenders didn't do Chrissie Hynde any harm. When all's said and done, I find affinity with others is more important than skills and any titles, legitimate or otherwise. I look for staff who are keen and energetic, able to fit in and work in a team ..... and who laugh at my dad jokes.

After Chas ✌️ Wyatt posted asking for feedback on his appointment as an Ambassador:

Chas, looks like you've been to more platforms than the Salvation Army has in Central Station. I echo what @Dean Owen says in #3 below, so keep on keeping on and do what you do best. I remember writing a poem when I first joined beBee, a couple of lines from which goes as follows:
"Bye Bye Facebook, see ya Twitter, leaving LinkedIn's sweet not bitter.
Come on over, one and all, join me on my beBee wall."
Like you, Chas, I'm not on Instagram, Snapchat or Twitter, and no longer very active on LI, preferring to spend most of my SM time here on beBee, reading selected interesting tales narrated by others, encouraging them by commenting in my own weird way, and writing the occasional buzz, whether prose or poem. If that makes me a poor Ambassador, then I enjoy being a poor Ambassador. Welcome to the club, Chas. No joining fee and no real benefits, other than a satisfied warm glow feeling at the end of a beBee session on line.

On Don 🐝 Kerr’s list of Shakespearean insults:

Funny how the peculiarities of ye old English insults are more denigrating and disparaging than the 'common or garden' Anglo-Saxon to which it is easier to stoop. The art of a true insult requires a unique and appropriate choice from a comprehensive arsenal of expressive ammunition, rather than the use of 'off the shelf' repetitious profanity. This list is going straight to the pool room.

In response to a poem by Devesh Bhatt:

Honey would taste funny,
Fabricated by a bunny,
So I'm glad that you agree,
It feels good to be a bee.

In response to Gert Scholtz’ post extolling the importance of the ‘relevant’ button:

The only reason I push the relevant button, Gert, is because I understand that others count or collect 'relevants' like medals or bonuses. I must admit to not really understanding what a higher number of 'relevants' achieves in terms of the life and exposure of the buzz. I prefer to show my appreciation of another bee's buzz by taking time to formulate a comment, as in this case, so that I may, hopefully, initiate a response and, in some cases, an on-line 'conversation'. I am, of course, referring to comments relating to the content of the buzz and indicating that the reader has read and understood the buzz. I am not referring to 'throw away' (albeit polite) comments such as "Great buzz" or "Thanks for sharing".
For me, nothing indicates the success of a buzz more than a healthy series of meaningful comments, often resulting in interaction, not just between the buzz author and commenter, but between others who may wish to jump into the 'conversation'. It is easy to read or partially read a buzz, press 'relevant', then move on, but it takes more commitment to read in detail, show your understanding by sending the author an appropriate comment, and hopefully receive a respectful response.
I respectively suggest that 'Relevants' are like mere remote pats on the back. They are easy to proffer and evaporate like ghosts. Respectful, logical, sometimes comical, or even poetic comments, however, are what ultimately cement affinity and create bonding between bees, resulting in our each forming our groups of Fbees (favourite bees).

In response to Rod Loader’s well written post on Words, heralding his self-proclaimed return of the prodigal from LI:

Painting pictures with words so that they reel in the attention of our readers, as they flit like butterflies from post to post, is indeed an art form, Rod. At the opposite end of the spectrum, staying awake while reading, through necessity, a technical report, a specification, or a contract document, is a challenge.
One of the endearing things I have found about common language 'word users' in my adopted Land of Oz is a healthy and liberal use of the idiom, coupled with the intriguing veil of the metaphor, and a vicious application of the 'tall poppy' syndrome which, through sarcasm, reminds us that our communications with our readers should be clear and concise.
Welcome back into the light, Rod, where entertaining words, proffered in the spirit of clarity and conciseness, are rewarded here on beBee, with engagement and eventual affinity between bees. Many of us chose to come across into the light from the Dark Side, because our words over there were disappearing like water droplets in sand dunes, faster than any potential followers could dig. Take a deep breath through your nose. What you are smelling is delicious honey being produced.

In response to Javier 🐝 beBee’s pictures of a spaceman with a Frisbee:

A long time ago, from a galaxy far, far away, they came with mischievous smiles, offering us gifts of flying discs to mesmerise us and divert our attention from their cloning of our leaders. They later returned with more powerful mesmerising toys they called iPhones and iPads and installed their alien clone in a large White House where few could see he was completely out of this world.

Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman asked what happened to nice:

Like plain boiled rice,
I oft times suffice,
On a diet of 'nice'.
But as I get older,
I tend to get bolder,
And season with spice.
Now life's ups and downs,
Draw both frowns and clowns,
Please heed my advice.
We need good and bad,
Hilarious and sad,
Come, let's throw the dice.
Perhaps we need to jump aboard life's roller coaster more often, Franci, if we're to be able to appreciate 'nice' once in a while?

Unfortunately, there are a dozen or more additional comments I had originally reproduced in this buzz, but they appear to have evaporated into cyber-space during some problems I had loading up????? Perhaps I'll able to pick them up when I publish the next volume?

Meanwhile .....

If you live in the past, 
And would like it to last, 
Then try Volume I, 
And I hope you have fun. 


When not researching the weird or the wonderful, the comical or the cultured, the sinful or the serious, I chase my creative side, the results of which can be seen as selected photographs of my travels on my website at:

The author of the above, Ken Boddie, besides being a sometime poet and occasional writer, is an enthusiastic photographer, rarely leisure-travelling without his Canon, and loves to interact with other like-minded people with diverse interests.

Ken's three day work week (part time commitment) as a consulting engineer allows him to follow his photography interests, and to plan trips to an ever increasing list of countries and places of scenic beauty and cultural diversity.

Randall Burns Oct 1, 2017 · #68

#67 LMAO!!! I know, right from the Stone age!!

+1 +1
Ken Boddie Oct 1, 2017 · #67

#66 Glad to see this not so recent Pleistocene post is still gathering moss, Randy.

+1 +1
Randall Burns Sep 30, 2017 · #66

Holy Crap! @Kevin Pashuk, and @Ken Boddie, You guys ROCK!

+1 +1
Ken Boddie Jul 1, 2017 · #65

#64 just love your rock solid approach to life, Kev. 🤣

+2 +2
Kevin Pashuk Jun 30, 2017 · #64

#63 Actually Ken, I prefer plateaus. They are the highest form of flattery.

+2 +2
Ken Boddie Jun 30, 2017 · #63

#62 I prefer a sedimentary life, Kev. 🤣

+2 +2
Kevin Pashuk Jun 30, 2017 · #62

#61 Absolutely Ken 😉,. Like planning a vacation to the mountains, but then you would be accused of taking life for granite.

+2 +2
Ken Boddie Jun 30, 2017 · #61

#60 I guess then, Kev, we should be living life to the 'fool' ? 🤡

+2 +2