Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago · 2 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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SOME THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM...

SOME THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM...

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I was searching for some old files on a backup drive, and came across this collection of things that make you go Hmmmm....

I don't know where I got them originally, but after all this time they are still funny (to me).

Enjoy.

____________________________________________________________________

1. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

3. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

5. How do a fool and his money GET together?

6. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?

7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

14. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

15. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?

16. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

17. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

18. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

19. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

20. Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

21. How come there aren't B batteries?

22. If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?

23. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

24. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

25. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

26. How is it possible to have a civil war?

27. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

28. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

29. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

30. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

31. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

32. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

33. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

34. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?

35. How do you throw away a garbage can?

36. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?

37. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

38. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

39. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

40. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

41. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

42. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

43. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?

44. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

45. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

46. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

47. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

48. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?

49. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

50. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?


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Comments

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #20

#25
Great contributions Erroll. Thanks

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #19

I'm sure Susan Rooks (One of our newest AmBEEsadors) has a few to add. In the meantime... Does anyone else see the irony of non-hyphenated vs. hyphenated?

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #18

#12
I used that one this weekend on my grandkids Ken... The beauty of grandchildren is that you can pull out the Dad jokes again!!!

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #17

#11
I guess that makes me a cowboy Ken. Love that list. I may borrow it...

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #16

#10
That's what I love (and hate) about the English language Robert. Context matters.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #15

#8
Thanks Fatima. Laughter is good medicine!

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #14

#6
Life's too short to not have a laugh or two Renée.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #13

#5
They just don't write songs like the Hokey Pokey anymore, do they Francine?

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #12

#4
A most excellent addition Phillip.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #11

#3
Glad I could add a smile to your day Sara.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #10

#2
Excellent additions Pedro.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #9

Just thought of another one, Kev: "If my nose runs and my feet smell, am I built upside down?"

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #8

You must have snuck up behind me again, Kev, with that Nikon of yours, because I was just sitting here scratching my head ..... 🐒 Incidentally, I found this one on line recently to add to your list: "If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?" And then, so you won't have an odd number of questions: "How come psychics never win the lottery?"

Robert Cormack

7 years ago #7

I love "If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?" Really cute. I remember a woman complaining one time about context of words. "How is it," she asked, "I can blow my nose, and I'm normal, but if I blow someone I'm a slut?" Some many questions, so few good answers. Thanks, Kevin Pashuk

Pascal Derrien

7 years ago #6

Priceless &n philosphical :-)

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7 years ago #5

Super funny 😂😂 Had a good laugh If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have? 😂😂😂 I would love to send this to the banks.🤐😂🤐

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7 years ago #4

Super funny. I had a good laugh 😂 These are going to be unforgettable. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

Sara Jacobovici

7 years ago #3

Thanks Kevin Pashuk. Fun way to sign off as it's night now and I'm ready to call it a day. I enjoyed them all, but I must admit the one that me made laugh out loud was: 44. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

Pedro 🐝 Casanova

7 years ago #2

I ve got two more for that fantastic list... If Superman...is a super-man...strong and smart. Why is he wearing the underwear on top of the pants. Why " separated" is a single word...and " all together " two words.

Pedro 🐝 Casanova

7 years ago #1

I dont remember being photographed this morning....

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