Lisa Gallagher en Café beBee, beBee in English, Social Media Assistant Administrator • Insight Technology LLC 19/3/2017 · 2 min de lectura · 3,0K

Mid-Life Strikes, Do You Know Which Path to Take?

Mid-Life Strikes, Do You Know Which Path to Take?

Today was a day of self-reflection. My self-reflection was so deep I actually began to cry. I finally admitted to myself that I don't know who I am anymore. I sat at my PC just staring and wondering if I've ever known who I truly am? I felt a flood of sadness, anxiousness, and anger raging inside of me as these thoughts/feelings were so strong I felt like they were slapping me in the face, almost as if the thoughts were taunting me. 

I have dedicated my entire life to helping others and I'm not saying this for a pat on the back. That is the core of who I am. But, there is more to me than just helping others and why it's taken me so damn long to figure this out is just as perplexing. As I write this tonight, I can honestly admit, I don't know who I am or what it is I should be doing. Tears stream down my face because I feel in some ways like a failure and I also feel angry because I know I have many talents. Why can't I tap into my talents and put them to work? In part, I think it's because my brain keeps saying, you can't compete with the younger generation, you're spent... that's my subconscious speaking but it's hard to ignore when you've been out of work for a long period of time. Work has never defined who I am but I find myself looking for a definition now. Am I looking to define myself or define who I am through my work and passions? I've always counted on my passions to define me. Life has become more confusing. I thought things would get easier by the time I hit this magical era in my life. 

My life has consisted of taking care of my siblings when my dad was ill and dying, becoming a nurses aid at a big hospital when I was 17 ( a junior in high school), moving on and getting hired as a Respiratory Technician, Cardiac Lab Tech, taking 2 years off to stay home with my son and I babysat. I went back to the hospital when they called to ask me to apply for a Phlebotomist position. I applied and took the job, it was part-time and worked out great because I had two children at the time. We moved about two years after I took that job and my husband was making enough money that I was able to stay at home. I wouldn't trade my years of being at home for anything. The problem, I didn't make an exit plan for MY life outside of raising children. I volunteered at their schools for various activities my kids were involved in and life was busy. My life was so busy, I forgot about my own needs at some point

We all have unique talents and sometimes those talents lie dormant, just waiting to come out
Lisa Gallagher

I admire those of you that found your niche and stuck with it or expounded on it. My mind tends to travel in ten different directions and it seems I can't focus on just one niche. 

I found this Tedx Video and I hope some of you listen to it. This video sums up who I think I am and why it's hard for me to make a decision. It sums up while I feel like a failure.  I am NOT looking for sympathy, I'm just being quite frank and expressing my thought process at this point or shall I say, sharing my juncture in my life?  Has anyone else felt stuck? How are you dealing with midlife if things don't seem to be going as you may have anticipated long before you hit this time in your life?  I hope you watch the video. This video gave me some hope and also made me realize, I'm not alone... I'm just different. Being different can make us unique, right? 

Lisa Gallagher 19/9/2017 · #77

#76 @Lyon Brave thanks so much for your very honest comment, I appreciate it! You have great writing skills too, we all differ in style. I read Anne Frank's Diary, eye opening. Can you believe I've only been for a massage once in my life, once for manicure and one pedicure. Not sure why I don't try to pamper myself more, I think I feel guilty and I know I shouldn't. Getting out in nature is great for anxiety, because it removes a lot of distractions. Thanks for reading this Lyon and I hope your doing well!

Lyon Brave 18/9/2017 · #76

@Lisa 🐝 Gallagher I spend a lot of time telling people they should not compare themselves to other people. You should not worry about what younger people are doing or even people in the same age group. All that matters is what you are doing and you are obviously developing your writing skills. You have built a strong platform here on beBee. It is much stronger than mine. You are funny, consistent, and humble. I highly doubt, I would want to read the writings of an 18 year old honestly, unless they were in an Ann Frank type situation. Life has brought you wisdom, use it. If you have had a life of giving it is probably time to pamper yourself. Do you go get massages, get your nails done. You said your bucket list wish is to get a makeover. You can treat yourself. As far as your anxiety. maybe try hiking, gardening even more, or getting out in nature. I think it's okay to just be.

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Lisa Gallagher 23/4/2017 · #75

#74 Claim your eldership, I like that idea! We earned it ;-) I swear at times I think my husband has a harder time with mid-life than me. He still wants to keep up with our kids and grandkids as if he was 30 again. I felt the same for a while but I had an epiphany, been there, done that! They need to accept me as I am and I need to be ok with where I am. I think there is more pressure on women today at our age vs. when our mothers were this age? I could be wrong. I will give my husband a pass though, he has some prior injuries that are acting up and it's frustrating him even though he never complains, I know him well and that does break my heart.

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Claim your eldership! The modern day elder - we need experience wisdom - sensingbpatterns, builder ng relationships, creating empathy in the world - we do the s - mind you - you might be younger than me - I am claiming my eldership! #73

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Lisa Gallagher 20/4/2017 · #73

Thanks for sharing @Deb🐝 Lange! :)) Midlife, it's 3:30 am where are other women right now? I hope sound asleep unlike me LOL.

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Lisa Gallagher 6/4/2017 · #72

#71 I think it may be more prevalent than people admit to 'feel stuck.' I wonder if it affects women more than men or if it's equal? I'm so glad you are going to get back out into the world and find yourself. Write blogs when you feel frustrated, you have a ton of friends here who are more than happy to encourage and even give advice if you need it @Lyon Brave. Life sure can be tough... it's nice when we hit a place in life and feel like we can say, "Yes, I'm happy and content." I'm not there yet either.

Lyon Brave 6/4/2017 · #71

Holy shit this is exactly what I'm going through. I just asked my friend Lori why do I feel like I'm in my mom pants driving a minivan when I have no kids.. Your article helped me realize because I'm dangerously close to settling for a life I didn't really want and just giving up and deciding to place all my hopes and dreams on my babies. I want my babies to be successful but I want to be successful first... So I'm stripping out of these mom jeans and I'm gonna go put some red lipstick on and grab my breifcase and pepper spray and march back out into the world.

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Lisa Gallagher 6/4/2017 · #70

Thanks for sharing @🐝 Fatima G. Williams :))

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