Pay Attention to Your Intuition
I wrote this piece on Linkedin over a year ago. I decided to share it on beBee.
At the age of eleven, I was the eldest of five children, and I lost my father to cancer. This was a very devastating time for all of us, and being naive young kids we didn't understand that my dad had a terminal illness even though he spent the last four months of his life bedridden.
I spent a lot of time with my dad in his workshop prior to him becoming ill. January was his birthday and I bought him a saw. He was so excited when he opened his gift- I will never forget our tiny exchange. Dad- "Oh Lisa, this is the best present, I can't wait to use it with you." I replied- "Yea if you ever get out of bed again!" I guess I felt he was being lazy, or maybe I felt abandoned? He was my rock.
Dad died less than a month later. My brother and I were spending the night at friend's home across the street and we were awoken early stating we HAD TO GO HOME. My response- "Why, we are supposed to go to Church with you this morning?" The neighbor reiterated- "You need to get home, your mom needs you home."
My brother and I were both grumbling over leaving as we walked through the snow that Febuarary. Suddenly, I broke out into a sprint and my brother yelled- "Stop running, WHY are you running?" I yelled back- "Because dad died." My brother became frantic and screamed- "Liar, he did not!"
When we walked into the home my Aunt was at the kitchen sink doing dishes and my mom greeted my brother and me. She said she needed to talk to us privately. My heart was pounding and sinking at the same time. She sat us down in a private room and said, "I don't know how to tell you this, so I guess I will ask.. do you know what it means when a person passes away?" With anxiety in my voice, I said- "It means someone died." I was praying this was not about my dad, even though I knew I was going to hear he was gone from my life forever. Mom went on to say, "Your dad passed away this morning." My brother and I broke down hysterically asking, "why what happened" I believe it was then we fell into her arms and we all sat there crying.
My father's death taught me many lessons along the way. One lesson I learned was to always trust my intuition, or as some may call it- your inner voice. My intuition has helped me make good decisions and I diverted some bad situations because of my intuition.
My father was a giving, loving and humorous man. He may have left, but he never left my heart. Although my time with my dad was short when I'm faced with different scenarios many times I ask myself, what would dad do? He would have given the shirt off of his back to help another, and I too, find ways of giving back or just helping others because it comes naturally for me.
My mom worked hard to provide for us, but until she found a job mom had to use food stamps to provide food for us. Mom has a lot of pride, and she was humiliated beyond words every time she had to go to the store. Many people gave us toys for Christmas the first year after his death and helped my mom in too many ways to describe on this post.
I also learned at a very young age not to judge others, because we aren't aware of their circumstances. I donate whenever it's possible, I help friends without waiting for them to ask. Most people who are enduring tough times won't ask for help- again use your intuition; if you think a visit to cheer them up or making a dinner may help, don't ignore your inner voice. These are simple things. I always tell myself I may need help one day because not one of us can predict the future. When we can brighten someone else's day we are also creating a positive internal environment for ourselves.
One last note: I was in the grocery store a few months back and a man standing in line in front of me was 8.00 short after he gave the cashier his access card- also known as food stamps. I could see he was extremely embarrassed and I just handed the cashier a 10.00 bill and told her to cash him out. He was thankful but seemed to book out of the store. I thought, hey that could have been me even without food stamps.
I don't feel superior when I am able to help others; I feel a sense of humanity. Life can throw a curve ball at any time- it's always good to be aware that nothing is stable or constant, and life sure is precious. We all matter.
Plant a seed and watch it grow!