Yes, Doctors Do Make Mistakes- He Missed The Nodule!

I've been hesitating about writing this story because I've written so much about my mom over the past year and a half. I decided it's OK to write again because she was a major force in my life for over 50 years. We don't forget a loved one that easy. It was very hard during the holidays because it was our families first(s) without her at Thanksgiving and Christmas. When January arrived, so did the anniversary of her death: it had been one year... wow, it seemed like yesterday. The good news is that I think I've moved into a new stage, I'm not sure what it may be labeled but I feel better. I was finally able to look back and remember both a cute and tough moment which I want to share. 

It was May 2013 before Mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I got a call later in the evening from my Step dad. His voice sounded panicked and he said, "Lisa, your mom is really sick!" I asked him what was going on? He told me she had been on the couch for 3 days and wasn't able to eat or sit up. I told him to get her to ER but my mom was not only stubborn, she was afraid of hospitals so she absolutely refused to go. I told him I would get there in the morning but if she seemed to become more ill to get her to ER no matter what.

I called my Step Dad one last time before I went to bed and he told me she was resting quietly on the couch. Mom never slept on the couch so I knew she was sick. 

She had been sick off and on since Thanksgiving of 2012 but kept up her pace. I think she was trying to hide things from us due to her own fears. 

Morning arrived and I felt like I hadn't even closed my eyes but I was ready to hit the road.

Mom was still on the couch when I walked into the house. I asked her if I could take her to ER and she said very sternly, "NO, NO, I won't go!" Ok, ok mom, I said to her, no worries I would never force you to. Mom fell back to sleep. I pulled my Step dad into the kitchen and said to him that we need to get her to the Dr. in the morning. He agreed. I asked him if he would get her there and meet me and he said, "I sure will!" I felt bad putting that part on him but by the next morning, I think she felt more relaxed knowing she was going to her Dr. instead of the ER.  I live 2 hours from my parents and spent the night at a hotel in town. 

We met at the Doctor's office the next morning. As soon as I walked into the waiting room my parents were already sitting there. If my mom could have shot daggers from her eyes I would have been pierced. The nurse called her back and my mom said in a very huffy tone, "Well I GUESS one of you should come back with me!" I looked at her and said, "Do you want dad to go back with you?" My mom said, "No, you made the appointment, so you might as well come." Her tone of voice was one of frustration. I actually felt guilty but not for long. 

Unexpected News

Once we were in the exam room and the Doctor walked in mom's tune changed. She put on her best face for the Doctor and I went with it.  The Doctor said hi and he seemed nice enough but after his initial hi, and "What's going on today Shirley?" Mom told him her symptoms, he looked at her chart and said, Oh I see you had a Chest X-ray in January and there's a good sized nodule in your lung." I asked my mom if she was aware of this and she said, "no, no-one called me." He tried to apologize but I have to tell you, my blood was boiling when I heard this afterall, it was freaking May now! I asked the Doctor, so what now?? He said, "Well, she's going to need a CAT Scan and should see a Pulmonologist too." I asked who the Pulmonologists were and he gave me two names. He then went on to say, you need to make the appointment when you get home. Oh really Mr. Doctor who screwed up bad.. (my brain was spinning and it took everything I had not to go off on this guy). Anyhow, I said, you need to make the appointment and make sure she's seen TOMORROW! Mom knee'd me and said, "Lisa, don't talk to him like that." I tried to lighten it up and with a smile, I said to mom in front of him, "He's a big boy mom, he can handle this and he knows he can get you in much faster than we can."  

Incompetent 

While we were sitting in the exam room he also told my mom she was very dehydrated. She had a hard time holding up her head and could barely walk. I asked him he would admit her. Mom started crying and saying, "no, no... I don't want to be admitted." So he just said, can you promise me to drink a lot of fluids when you get home? Oh.My.God. I honestly didn't know how much more I could contain myself. I told him that if she was able to drink more she would have already and wouldn't be dehydrated, you NEED to admit her. Mom knee'd me again- oh she was mad at me. The idiot ignored me and said to mom, "Shirley do you promise to drink more?" She said, "yes, I promise I will." He left and within two minutes came back with her appointment at the Pulmonologists office, scheduled for the next day. We left the exam room and mom thanked him and said goodbye. I didn't say a word. I wanted to say, You dumb jaggoff, what are you thinking, you need to admit her, can't you see how ill she is?!! Mom left with a sense of relief and thanked me for being there with her. That's what I held on to since I had no control over her decision, even though he never offered to admit her.  I felt like her mom that day and I'm sure she felt like a kid and didn't like that feeling. 

Pulmonology

I stayed another night in town and met my parents the next morning at the Pulmonologist's office. Mom was so ill that morning she had to be brought in by wheelchair. I can't express the fear I felt but had to hide it from her. He did a Chest X-ray while she was in the office and came back to let us know the nodule was now a large mass. He was very compassionate and sat down to explain a few things they would be looking for. As soon as mom heard the word mass the first words out of her mouth were, "I suppose you're going to tell me I have to quit smoking?!" Her tone was huffy but she was scared. He told her he would never tell a smoker to quit. He explained it's like a crack addiction and she had smoked for so many years her body was extremely addicted. He went on to say if she decided to quit and needed help he would help her with that. This doctor also had her admitted to the hospital from his office! Mom was given IV's to rehydrate her, they did a bronchoscopy to get a biopsy of the mass and it was then we found out mom had cancer. The Doctor didn't want to tell her while she was in the hospital since her status was improving. He said he'd tell her in a few days when she went back for her follow up. I was shocked that mom seemed to take her diagnosis so well. She also quit smoking, she had one cigarette when she was discharged, hardly smoked it and that was it- after 50 years of smoking, she was done. 

I believe she began receiving Chemotherapy within a week of her diagnosis. Mom's life had forever changed in the blink of an eye. 

This is why it's vital to be there for a loved one when they are ill. If I hadn't spoke up for my mom, it may have taken 1-2 months to get into a specialist.  She could have died from a heart attack because dehydration affects all the major organs.  I'm glad I was there with her because I look back on this now and smile, thinking of my mom's fear yet, I know she was actually relieved to have me there with her, she even shared that after she was feeling better.  I had no idea she had a Chest X-ray 4 months prior to the mass being found but if I would have known- we would have made sure she called for the results. At one point during mom's illness, she said that she wanted us to sue the Doctor after she was gone. As time progressed mom said, I take that back, I don't want anyone to sue him, he's human and mistakes happen." That's the type of person mom was, she always gave others the benefit of doubt. Of course, we have all honored that wish.