Lisa Vanderburg in Lifestyle, beBee in English, Writers Jul 20, 2018 · 1 min read · 1.2K

Love and JOY!


After the ouchie of my recent buzz Love and Loss, I wanted to follow it with the upside.

Action -> reaction-> blessing!

First though, let me thank those who cared and dared to comment; you are brave and noble! And I hope you will forgive me for your hurt at the time of reading.


That’s the trouble with secrets; the burden of knowledge cannot be undone. Pass a secret on at your peril for you must bear the price of it.
me

Now for the blessings - cue the music!

Love and JOY!

Our kids! My darlin’ husband was so sane it took him years to work out I wasn’t. But the greatest blessing was that we saw eye-to-eye about child-rearing. I wasn’t a perfect parent...like, who is?

So here’s my thoughts about nurturing - love to hear yours (I am crazy, after all :) )

1. Boundaries. To established safety and security for them, not you!

2. Unconditional love.

3. Allow them privacy within those boundaries; even babies need time alone, to chirp and sing and discover! Once the outside world hits...get to that another time.

4. Faith. They NEED to know there is a higher power than themselves AND their parents. It’s healthy and from this grows only good things like compassion, empathy and intuition!

5. Play! Playing with your kids is not only one of God’s greatest gifts to us, but it will teach them generosity and joy. Have ‘adventures’...we did all the time!

6. Accountability for their actions. Yup, the naughty-child bit. To me, ‘judgement’ must be fair and swift, but never gratuitous. Usually an offence was dealt with by an ‘enforced’ act of kindness to a neighbor (once old enough), like mowing their lawn. We found this helpful to teach respect and patience.


We had an absolute blast with these two boys for the 25 years they lived with us. Still do, but now with the double-blessing of wonderful, loving, grounded wives and grandkids, and I revel in being ‘crazy weird’! Just ripped that off from Joel Anderson's joyful buzz, being appointed "crazy weird" is the best title ever!



There are so many many blessings, but I will stop at the next and last one:


Forgiveness. 

It took me over 40 years and many failed attempts, but I forgave my father (and mother). True to form as he lay dying many years later, his last words to me were ‘oh, SHUT UP, woman!’

I might’ve mentioned that before……


Nope....not his.


He was actually old Roman Catholic. I asked him in the last years when he’d go when he died (this was after his ‘I should be Pope’ business). He said, ‘I don’t want to go to heaven and play the harp with all those stupid people.’

Fun!


This is dedicated to those who dared: Bill King, John Rylance, Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, Jerry Fletcher, Cyndi wilkins, Debasish Majumder, Pascal Derrien, Ian Weinberg, Ken Boddie (the Dude) and Harvey Lloyd. Thanks y'all!


AND Javier 🐝 beBee!! So sorry amigo!


Fay Vietmeier 14 h ago · #38

@Lisa Vanderburg
You have been in my thoughts & prayers ... visited you blog to see if there was any new posts ...
Choose "Love & Joy"
... loved the video ... "Happy"
Great post Lisa ;~)
I love being a MOM
... point out to my sagacious son, now 22 ...that MOM is WOW upside-down ;~)
... sending a bee-hug ;~)

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Lisa Vanderburg Jul 25, 2018 · #37

#36 Wonderful summation, Roberto...I cannot decide which is the greatest blessing; guiding them or being them! There's something entirely freeing about sitting on the grass with super-imagined life going on all around you. What a boon!
I guess most all kids reach that age where they are deaf, dumb & blind - but only to their parents. That's when we have to intrigue them with something new, as well as remind them we're 'old salts' at this game.
Thanks so much for your comment!

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Roberto De la Cruz Utria Jul 24, 2018 · #36

Great Buzz, I believe that in the upbringing of children, the communication with them and the time we dedicate to them is key, so we can perceive their emotional development, their way of thinking and seeing things, their general learning; in that way we could, help, guide and correct them.
We are born without any knowledge and we do not all learn in the same way, our role as parents is to be a guide, so constantly making sure that the children are on the right track is very healthy.
Many parents wonder what they have done wrong when children reach a certain age, and often the answer is that communication has been lacking, and our role as guide would have failed.

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Lisa Vanderburg Jul 23, 2018 · #35

#34 Amen, Preston!

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Preston 🐝 Vander Ven Jul 23, 2018 · #34

#33 Great Words. A great reminder for me is the 'Last Supper'. Just a few hours before Christ we arrested in the garden, and that the time to be arrested came upon him, he still sat down, broke bread, gave THANKS, and was HAPPY.

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Lisa Vanderburg Jul 23, 2018 · #33

#31 Many thanks @Preston 🐝 Vander Ven! That song is so....happy!!
Yes, those moments of deep, abiding joy are what we all need to keep locked in our hearts. Life, despite all its turmoil, can beso very sweet, thank God! Be blessed and may life be gentle with you and yours

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Lisa Vanderburg Jul 23, 2018 · #32

#30 Well I am forever happy to receive another comment from you @John Rylance! Your tale of parenting rings true - I remember when our boys were about 12 or 13, they decided to hold a 'conference' but a one-on-one to each parent, to tell us that they liked girls....just wanted us to know. It was a 'serious' affair :)

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Preston 🐝 Vander Ven Jul 23, 2018 · #31

Great Buzz. When we can all stop and count our Blessings in life, we can give Thanksgiving. From our Thanksgiving is praise and the fruit of Happiness.
Also, love the song. That four minutes gave me a boost of motivation. Thank YOU.

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