How do You Cope with Grief ?

Grief is a normal response to loss.
When we experience grief the ways we think, feel and behave are affected. Sometimes reactions are so powerful and changeable that it can feel like we are losing our grip on reality. We sometimes also fear that if we allow ourselves to experience pain, the strong feelings like sadness, abandonment and anger will never stop. However, no matter how intense our feelings are they are temporary and while painful, experiencing the process of grief is a healthy way to say farewell to one loved and lost.

Some Ideas for Working with Grief

• Spend time alone, to think, remember, pray, meditate, mourn.
  
  
• Talk to a person who will listen with understanding to your thoughts and feelings.
  
  
• Find distractions to provide some ‘time out’ from the pain. Some ideas might include – music, painting, writing, hot baths, exercise…. When you feel vulnerable and sad avoid choosing distractions that can lead to feeling worse – like alcohol or drugs.
  
  
• Use physical nurture – massages, baths, hot showers, walks and exercise.
  
  
• Keep and enjoy treasures like good memories, photos, mementos.
  
  
• Eat a healthy diet, frequent small amounts of nutritious, easily digested food.
  
  
• Exercise if you can – it helps manage stress and excess adrenalin.
  
  
• Prioritise daily tasks, do only what is essential. Be patient with yourself. You may find it harder than usual to concentrate - take frequent breaks and study in shorter periods with clear and conservative goals for each session.
  
  
• Walk for fresh air and to give yourself some healing space
• Indulge yourself from time to time as a reminder that life still holds some good things.
  
  
• Write a journal to record thoughts and feelings. Write to friends and family as a way of telling your story and expressing your feelings. Write to the person you have lost as a way of telling them what you would want them to know.
  
  
• Participate in a "rite of passage" to help say goodbye - a funeral or other ritual that is meaningful for you.
  
  
• Care for yourself. This replenishes your strength and allows you to be more able to continue to care for others around you. Be patient - it takes time to heal.
  
  
• Have a health check as part of your self-care.
  
  
• Contact your GP if the going gets too tough. Ask for a referral a psychologist.