TRANSCENDING THE VICTIM MENTALITY by LYON AMOR BRAVE
To say nobody wants to be a victim would be a bold lie.
There are plenty of us who willingly position ourselves in helpless situations. Countless individuals willingly and by choice give their power away to more aggressive types.
There are dominant and submissive personality types at work in the world and as far as role playing goes this means those of us who identify as submissive, weak, or unable to lead our own life’s without allowing more aggressive types to dictate our actions choose to be cast into such helpless roles.
In order to not to be a victim, we have to be courageous enough to fight for ourselves when nobody is on our side.
Being a victim and living life with a victim mentality are two different things, and this book will discuss as many aspects as possible, from race, to religion, to gender to demonstrate how we may heal as individuals and communities and take back control of our lives.
It’s important to define what a victim is. A victim is someone who is killed, harmed, injured or taken advantage of. My favorite definition of a victim comes from dictionary.com which states, “A victim is a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency.” We can be a victim of misplaced confidence and a victim of an optical illusion.
We can be a victim of crime and political corruption. Being at a party drunk, then taken upstairs and taken advantage of after you passed out makes you a victim. Leaving your property in a public space and then having it stolen makes you a victim. Identity theft is on the rise, and someone stealing your personal information and maxing out your credit cards makes you a victim. Getting into a car accident because the other driver ran a red light makes you a victim.
With that being said, there is a saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. If you continue to get hammered at parties, and wake up the next day declaring someone raped you again, you are functioning from a victim mentality. If your stuff continues to get stolen, you are still not being mindful enough to keep your private property out of public spaces.
Most crimes are crimes of opportunity. If you give people the opportunity to take advantage of you they will. It’s important to accept we often become a victim because of choices we make like giving our personal power over to the incompetence of others
If we cannot accept we have control over our fates, nobody can help us emerge from our tragedies. If we are going to stop being victims, the first thing we have to do is stop letting aggressive types control us and breed fear into us. The word aggressive is not necessarily bad though it has a negative connotation when thought of.
Aggressive types usually go after what they want and seek power and control. It is natural for aggressive personality types, especially negative aggressive personality types to seek out weak and submissive people to control, influence, and abuse, but it is really not the controllers fault they are manipulating the course of someone’s life for better or worse.
Someone who wants to control us will never have our best interest at heart and will certainly never help us better our circumstances.
The puppet chooses to be a puppet.
The abused woman chooses to be abused. The drug addict chooses to be addicted and the master chooses to be the master. Whether we are giving our personal power away to a person or a drug, we have to accept we are choosing to do so. I cannot stress enough the importance of this lesson. Your fate is in your hands from this moment on.
The main reason you are still a victim is because you are looking for other people to help you out of your circumstances and this help will most likely never come. There are simply not enough resources in the world to help everybody who needs help. Our capacity to pull people out of misfortune is extremely limited compared to the need.