Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años · 4 min. de lectura · ~10 ·

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Comunicación Online // Online Communication (Español & English)

Comunicación Online // Online Communication (Español & English)

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La comunicación online NO es como la comunicación offline.


Gracias a un comentario que escribí en un Producer de mi querido amigo Don Kerr titulado “Encontrando el punto medio: por qué elegí eliminar el extremismo de mi vida” (artículo en inglés), me decidí a escribir este post sobre las diferencias entre comunicación online y comunicación offline, y sobre todo la gran ventaja que la primera tiene sobre la segunda.


1. Para empezar, el contenido.

¿Cuántas veces has tenido un malentendido con otra persona por un whatsapp o por un correo electrónico que has enviado? En un texto escrito la interpretación corresponde a la persona que lo lee, por lo tanto quien lo escribe debe asegurarse de que no deja abiertas distintas posibilidades de interpretación. Hay que ser preciso a la hora de escribir y dar la información necesaria para evitar posibles malentendidos.


2. Para continuar, el ritmo.

En el caso de un malentendido, en una conversación hablada este se disipará fácilmente ya que lo aclararemos en el instante. Si te fijas la próxima vez que hables con alguien, seguramente sea necesario aclarar en más de una ocasión lo que queremos decir o lo que nos están diciendo. Curiosamente en algunas ocasiones lo que queremos decir y lo que decimos tiene poco que ver.

En el caso de comunicación online se tardará tiempo, quizá mucho tiempo, en resolver cualquier duda o confusión. El ritmo de la comunicación online es más lento, procuremos no utilizarlo para “alimentar” el desencuentro comunicativo.


3. Para terminar, el tono.

Como decía anteriormente, en el texto escrito la interpretación corresponde a la persona que lo lee, y será esa persona quien ponga el estado de ánimo a las palabras.

De nuevo, en una conversación hablada nuestro interlocutor recibe no solo nuestro mensaje (contenido) sino que percibe cómo se lo estamos contando gracias al tono de nuestra voz, a nuestra mirada, a nuestras emociones mientras hablamos. Al hablar no solo intercambiamos información, intercambiamos también emociones.

En la comunicación online es más complejo hacer llegar nuestra emoción al lector de nuestros mensajes. Gracias a los emoticonos hemos avanzado un poco, pero aún así será mayormente el lector quien ponga el estado de ánimo.



BONUS TRACK: La gran ventaja de la Comunicación Online versus Offline.


En el comentario que escribí en el Producer de Don Kerr conté que participé muy activamente hace unos diez años en un blog del periódico elmundo.es.

En ese blog todos los usuarios participábamos con un apodo, de manera anónima, no dábamos datos personales. Fue una experiencia bastante interesante y me ayudó mucho a aprender a manejar mis primeras reacciones al escribir en internet.

Aprendí una barbaridad porque el anonimato me daba dos posibilidades, nos las daba a todos: dar rienda suelta a la ira que en un momento dado puedes sentir por algún comentario inoportuno, o bien la oportunidad de aprender a manejarla. Yo elegí la segunda opción.

Además, descubrí que este tipo de comunicación online en foros me daba también una posibilidad que no tenía en las conversaciones en directo: escribir mi respuesta, leerla, irme a la cocina a prepararme un té, regresar en unos minutos, leer mi respuesta de nuevo, corregir algo si lo consideraba oportuno y entonces enviarla.

Pero muchas veces no aprovechamos esa ventaja y nos relacionamos (escribimos) como si fuera una conversación vis a vis. Y no lo es. Como hemos visto antes el lenguaje escrito da pie a mucha confusión difícil y lenta de resolver.

En aquel foro fui testigo de muchas discusiones sin fundamento y también fui el objetivo de algunos trolls, pero todo ello me ayudó a conocerme más a fondo, a aprender mucho sobre mis primeras reacciones y sobre todo me enseñó cómo utilizar este tipo de comunicación.

Así que la gran ventaja es poder pensar (dos, tres y todas las veces que quieras) lo que vas a decir antes de decirlo/enviarlo.


Espero tus comentarios y ya sabes, ¡piénsatelo dos veces antes de enviar! Jajajaja... ;)


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______________________________________________



The online communication is not like the offline communication.


Thanks to a comment I wrote in a Producer of my dear friend Don Kerr titled "Finding the middle ground or: Why I chose to eliminate extremism from my life", I decided to write this Honey Producer about the differences between online communication and offline communication, and especially the great advantage that the former has on the latter.


1. To begin with, the content.

How many times have you had a misunderstanding with someone else due to a whatsapp or an email that you have sent? In a written text interpretation corresponds to the person who reads the text, therefore whoever writes must ensure that the message is written as clear as possible. You have to be accurate in writing and provide the necessary information not to cause misunderstandings.


2. To continue, the pace.

In the case of a misunderstanding, in a spoken conversation this is easily dissipated because we can clarify with our interlocutor at the moment. If you take notice the next time you talk to someone, it is probably necessary to clarify in more than one occasion what you mean or what the other person is telling you. Curiously many times what we mean has little to do with what we say.

In the case of online communication it will take time, sometimes a long time, to solve any doubts or confusion. The pace of online communication is slower, so let’s try not to use it to "feed" the communicative disagreement.


3. Finally, the tone.

As I explained above, in the written text interpretation corresponds to the person who reads it, and that person will be the one who set the mood to words.

Again, in a spoken conversation our interlocutor not only receives our message (content) but perceives how we are telling the information thanks to the tone of our voice, to the look in our eyes, to our emotions as we speak. Speaking we not only exchange information, we also exchange emotions.

In the online communication it is more difficult to send our excitement to the reader of our messages. With emoticons it’s a bit easier, but still the reader will be the one who mostly set the mood.



BONUS TRACK: The Great Advantage of Communication Online versus Offline.


In the comment I wrote on the Producer by Don Kerr, I explained that I participated very actively about ten years ago in a blog of a very important Spanish newspaper: elmundo.es.

All the participants wrote with a nickname, anonymously, and we did not give any personal data. It was a pretty interesting experience and really helped me to learn how to manage with my first reactions when writing on internet.

I learned a lot because the anonymity gives you two options: to release all the rage in you or the opportunity to learn to deal with it. I chose the latter.

In addition, I discovered that this type of online communication forums also gave me a chance that I didn’t have in a direct conversation: write my answer, read it, go to the kitchen to prepare a tea, come back in a few minutes, read my answer again, correct something if necessary and then finally send it.

But often we don't get the advantage of that possibility and speak (or we write) as if it was a "person to person" conversation, and it is not. Written language gives rise to much confusion difficult to solve quickly, and normally ends up entangling communication.

I witnessed many pointless discussions in the forum that I commented before, and I was the target of some trolls, but it all helped me to learn about myself, to learn a lot about my first reactions and especially taught me how to use this kind of communication.

So the big advantage is being able to think (two, three or as many times as you want) what you are going to say before saying/sending it.


Waiting for your comments and you know, think twice about them before sending!! LOL!! ;)


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Comentarios

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #27

#52
Genial!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #26

#49
Jajaja... Ya veo, ya, Jos\u00e9 Lu\u00eds Casado, eres un Online Man en toda regla!! 😉 Sin duda tanto los foros, blogs, redes sociales, y demás enjambres del mundo internauta, nos brindan la posibilidad de comunicarnos con personas que de otro modo sería prácticamente imposible. En estos casos, mi palabra favorita es "desvirtualizar". Me encanta desvirtualizar a todo aquel que se deje!! 😉💫

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #25

#47
Gracias Carmen \ud83d\udc1d Juanes Luis, nos encanta la comunicación! 😉😘

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #24

Thanks \u2618\ufe0fDon Philpott for sharing!! 💫

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #23

#44
Gracias linda!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #22

#42
Muacksss!!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #21

#39
Gracias Marta \ud83d\udc1d Garc\u00eda Quijada!! Está bien rescatar de vez en cuando algunos Producers del pasado. 😘

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 6 años #20

#38
Gracias a ti cielo por rescatarlo. El sentido común es vital en comunicación y no siempre se aplica todo lo que se debería. Un abrazo!!

CityVP Manjit

hace 7 años #19

#34
Dear Mamen, it is the creation of meaning that gives power. That is why I like the Book of Ecclesiastes "“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” When we acknowledge that we are a "target", we give the other person power and that is how most bullies keep and maintain their power. What we have power of over is the ability to create meaning. It is amply demonstrated in the Buddha story about the "insult" http://fakebuddhaquotes.com/fake-but-not-fake-the-art-of-storytelling/ What I don't want to pretend to be is a superman - someone who is bothered but chooses to keep it in. There is nothing good about not having avenues to express what we feel, so this is the value of friendship and discussing harm offline with people who are supportive, rather than confrontational. That in reality is more than a sounding board, it is someone who will listen that draws the weight off the shoulders - but where we create meaning and have achieved an absolute lightness of being - then we are not carrying any weight - and that shows in our writing, it shows in our flow - life ordinarily carries much weight that is actually us carrying things we should never have carried - but we only know that when we are conscious of what we carry. "Let it go" is not the same thing as removing the baggage. The baggage we carry is dependent on how susceptible or sensitive we are to carrying meaning. I do not want to become insensitive to my world simply because it contains insensitive people, but I also want to move on with my life and if there are people who we see "target" us - then the first clue is in the word "target". A cathartic response is one way of unburdening or transforming meaning - the other is flowing towards friends.

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #18

#35
😂😘

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #17

#32
#33 Dear CityVP Manjit, when I was the target of some trolls in the blog I commented in the buzz above I realized that my response (or may I say no-response) had an incredible power to "deactivate" the intention of the person behind the mask. And when I say no-response doesn't mean no-answer. It was more like try to find an answer with no active reaction by myself. Time ago I was participating in a group, we used to practice yoga, Bio-dancing, meditation, and one day we played a game with a big ball. We were about 20 people standing up in a circle and we had to throw the big ball to each other without any order. 20 people and just 1 huge ball. It was quite interesting because at the beginning we were playing so we threw the ball with a lot of momentum. And in the middle of that momentum I got the ball strongly from another participant on the other side of the circle and suddenly I just looked at all of them and gave the ball to the one next to me, very softly and in his hands. What I learned at that moment is that no matter how strong I get "the ball" (whatever the ball means), it's up to me how I give it back. I don't look for excuses any more (I used to do it). I decide it. I have that power. All of us have that power.

CityVP Manjit

hace 7 años #16

#32
Dean, they are not people, they are interruptions, and if people allow themselves to be interrupted by troll magnets, then who really is holding the magnet - the troll or our response to the troll. Most often trolls do not exhibit bullying behaviour, just nuisance behaviour, which is different to people who ask tough questions - the difference is in intent, and intent can be measured by the response and degree of past relationship. First thing is to recognize the pattern and secondly recognize the pattern as interruption. If the troll does get under our skin, then there is learning for us because our response will become the actual magnet.

CityVP Manjit

hace 7 años #15

#29
Dear Dean, I remember the first troll I ever came across in my life. The year was 1969, in a primary school in West London - the teacher gave us "The Three Billy Goats Gruff". I remember it well because it was the first time I had encountered a scary story. I remember that the 3 billy goats had to cross the bridge and that there was a troll hiding under the bridge. http://blog.bellalunatoys.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/troll.jpg In four years time it will be 50 years since I first encountered that book. Whenever I see a troll now, all I see is that troll under the bridge saying "Now I am coming to gobble you up". We don't have to negotiate with the modern troll and there is no bridge to cross unless we let the troll mess with our brain - and attention is what the troll wants. What works for goats does not need to copied by humans. We don't need our Big Billy Goat Gruffs to trample over the troll, the human way is recognizing what is noise and what is signal http://www.mckinsey.com/industries/high-tech/our-insights/the-strength-of-weak-signals I am the protagonists in my own learning journey, and there is a belief that all stories need it's antagonist. There are enough antagonists in our world to keep us all up at night, without adding to the queue. If we really believe that the antagonist is central to our own learning journey, then that is the decision we have personally taken. There are 7 billion people in this world and my estimate of how many of them are good people is astronomical. Wouldn't my attention be better served by the astronomical number of good, rather than those few that consequently command much greater bandwidth of our attention, then is deserved. Don't we know this story by now of the troll and what a troll does? There are new stories to be made, unless we we actually wish to remain with those old troll ones.

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #14

#29
I guess trolls are hermaphrodites... 😉

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #13

#27
Así es, en mi caso aprendí a mejorar mis relaciones offline gracias a ese tempo que por otro lado aprendí de las relaciones online. Al final es el truqui que decían nuestras abuelitas de "contar hasta 10".

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #12

#24
Totalmente de acuerdo Fernando Santa Isabel Llanos!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #11

#20
Yo he estado en los dos lados de la delgada línea, cuando era más joven entrando al trapo cada dos por tres y ahora más reposada observando y procurando no juzgar en exceso. Y como bien dices, esta segunda opción tiene muuuuuchas ventajas... 😉 Gracias linda!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #10

#19
Efectivamente Oscar Montejo Rodriguez, es un ejercicio de autocontrol emocional que luego puedes trasladar a la comunicación offline, y sin duda es un ejercicio muy recomendable. Gracias por comentar!!!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #9

Gracias por tu comentario Pedro G\u00f3mez y por explicarte tan requetebien!! 😉

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #8

#14
Así es, por eso al final lo único que yo puedo hacer es ocuparme de que lo que digo sea impecable (3º acuerdo Tolteca) y de que mi interpretación de lo que los demás dicen sea también lo más impecable posible. Participando en el blog de El Mundo que comento en el artículo me di cuenta de que no podía "intervenir" en las interpretaciones de los demás, ¡y menos mal!! 😂 Sería agotador...

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #7

Fully agree RENATO DELA NINA!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #6

#10
Thanks Gloria Ochoa!! You can find my Producers in both languages, except the interviews of Spanish speakers users. Have a lovely day!!

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #5

#8
Lo que comentas Ruth sobre no deducir, es imprescindible no solo en la comunicación escrita sino en cualquier tipo de comunicación. Me recuerda al primer acuerdo de los Toltecas, te dejo el enlace de un post que escribí sobre ello hace unos meses: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@mamen-delgado/effective-communication-the-4-toltec-agreements-comunicacion-efectiva-los-4-acuerdos-toltecas-english-espanol

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #4

#5
I fully agree with you CityVP Manjit, in fact I can "hear" your tone and your mood in your written words. 😃 And I love what you say about metacognition. We could talk as well about the metacommunication and think about the communication itself, and clarify any doubt we could have about the message. I have improved in a huge way my offline communication thanks to those experiences I told about online communication. In fact, I used to be quite "reactive" and impulsive but now, in both aspects, I prefer to observe and to meditate myself about what I observe and then let whatever words come to me, but without that first impulsive reaction. I suppose it has something to do with age, as well, with being mommy also and with learning and trying to be as "thoughtful and considerate", as you say, as possible. Thanks so much for giving me your time. ✨

CityVP Manjit

hace 7 años #3

Dear Mamen, this is a good perspective for those who seek to engage online and there are skills to be learned in written communication and it is good to point out how to reduce possibilities of misunderstandings. It is important to know that we are all different and we will react in the way we see the world or how the world has treated us. As I interact I get to learn these things and I am mindful of what I learn through any misunderstanding. For me, the online space is EXACTLY the same as the offline space in my world. WHY? Because the offline space that exists here for me is in my thoughts and the online space is where I am thinking out aloud. When you go to the kitchen you can prepare an answer and that gives you time to ensure that when you hit the send button, that you have done your best to be thoughtful and considerate. If we are human beings at the level of our own hearts then we share this way. What I find equally important is knowing what it is we have written AFTER we have written it. This is called thinking about our own thinking and the nice fancy word for that is METACOGNITION. I utilize a metacogntive approach online - I am not providing answers, but simply my thoughts - and here is where what I engage is learning - that when I get to change my own thoughts, is the greatest value of all. Sometimes through misunderstandings, I might gain more rather than less learning. For the typical user of the online space, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE between the online and offline communication, because that purpose is far greater than mine. I exist in a narrow window which I consider to be thinking. Learning changes that to wisdom.

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #2

#2
My pleasure! And thanks Don Kerr for inspiring this Producer!! 🙇

Mamen 🐝 Delgado

hace 7 años #1

#1
Así es Federico \u00c1lvarez San Mart\u00edn, por suerte con los emoticonos podemos añadir algo de sentido a lo que estamos transmitiendo, pero aún así el mayor peso sobre el tono del mensaje lo pondrá el lector y su estado de ánimo puntual en ese momento. Yo misma he leído algún mensaje que me han transmitido una sensación, y días después (o incluso horas después) lo he vuelto a leer y me ha transmitido otra distinta. Y lo que en realidad era distinto ha sido mi estado de ánimo al leerlo. Gracias a ti por leer y comentar!

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