What a year of gratitude has taught me...

For the last couple of years or so I have followed the idea muted in Danielle LaPorte's book The Desire Map, to create goals from our desired feelings.

I have to state that it probably took me the best part of my first year to get the hang of it. As in creating goals from my desired feelings because I'd been taught to have the goal and the good came once you achieved it. And as someone with a strongly developed desire to achieve and therefore be loved, accepted, recognised etc (you can put your own word in here) it seemed counter productive.

But at some point the penny dropped as they say and I started to recognise the need to feel the good feelings before the achievement happened. And 2 things happened...

1) I realised achievement of goals has nothing much to do with the feeling state, other than just maybe making the road feel easier and

2) Some of the goals (in fact many of the goals) I set for myself were not going to bring me the desired feelings and were in fact not necessary to my wellbeing at all.

Which made me evaluate the reason for goals in the first place.

Why do we set goals for ourselves? Is it so we can pass through life feeling productive, worthwhile or contributing to the world we live in? Would we die of boredom if we had nothing to work on, look forward to or achieve for ourselves? And what happens when we achieve them?

You can see how this questioning might cause a mini crisis in life in general.

Fortunately I know quite a bit about what happens when we achieve our goals but they often felt lacklustre because I was already looking to the next big thing to conquer and this robbed me of my pleasure and satisfaction in my achievement.

To counteract this, I've learned to slow down and find enjoyment and pleasure in the process and journey to the goal as much as the goal itself.

But the big break through was when I decided to give myself a year of gratitude practice.

Here's what I found...

To begin with it was almost impossible to find 5 things I was grateful for to write at the end of the day.

After a few weeks this became easier and I found by focusing on looking for things to be grateful for I could increase that number to 20, 50 and then 100 things I was grateful for in any given day,

But the real breakthrough came when I decided that it wasn't enough to be only grateful for the little things around me that I deemed good. Instead I dared to give thanks for everything, the good, the bad and the ugly.

This big "aha" came through a fall I had unexpectedly in my home. As I sat breathing into the pain I thanked my body for being willing to have an accident, and the circumstances that brought it about. I didn't judge any of it, instead I stayed in gratitude and willingness to feel it all.

How did this help? The bruising that was deep seated came to the surface within 6 days but the pain was present only for the first 24 hours. My sprained wrist had made an almost miraculous recovery within 3 days. And instead of crying "woe is me!" I thanked my body for the enforced rest and went with the flow of the new circumstances.

And from that time on I've learned to say thanks for everything. I've stopped spending time writing it down, instead I simply begin my day with thanks and spend as many conscious moments giving thanks for it all, ending the day with a huge thanks to the creator, universe et al.

So what have I noticed?

• my stress levels have dropped to almost nil
• the need to accomplish goals has diminished
• the need for approval, love, acceptance or recognition has diminished
• I find myself at peace for most of my day, and when I'm not I accept and give thanks for that too
• I judge myself and others less
• I am much more connected to nature, not in the out there doing things kinda way, but in the listen to the birds, watch the ants crawling and carrying the crumbs, kinda way.
• I feel so much happier in myself and I laugh more spontaneously in child-like glee
• the world is an amusing place, I've found and I am sillier than most!
• and everywhere I use my senses to view the world there is extraordinary life and beauty
• And even terrible events can be appreciated.

I can see the cynics roll their eyes and proclaim loud disgust at my approach, but it doesn't mean I don't offer a helping hand if I can, and prayers if needed. It just means I'm refusing to be in the fear and drama of life because for me that place doesn't allow me to do anything but add to the noise, whereas in gratitude I can take action, and for me that is what living is all about... living, loving, taking action and contributing to a better world.

What about you?

The Angels' Gratitude Diary is an e-book written by Melody R. Green Melody is an Angel Communicator, Soul Coach, Energy Healer and Award-winning Author of Your Career Your Way. Melody assists others to connect to their Soul Path and bring more joy into their lives.