Domestic Disputes and Dissensions

Ugh...there’s the rub when a dear son, after wedlock, becomes rude and reckless. More troubles erupt when little, logical annoyance from a mother turns out intolerable for a daughter-in-law who bluntly doesn’t want to adapt to new surroundings.

Oftentimes, discourtesies, obstinacy and discord, from one side or either sides, bring in humiliation, hatred, scuffles and separation. Normally, mothers expect their sons to be righteous and caring, and likewise, they expect their daughters-in-law to be devoted and dutiful towards their husbands while being courteous and sensible towards their in-laws. In fact, with these little expectations, there’s no harmful intrusion.

But, the real nuisance begins when newly married couples, lost in bliss, forget basic civility towards their elders. Its throbbing torture when sons become darling husbands to their wives and disobedient towards their parents.

Sometimes, call it a twin tragedy when a son remains somewhat considerate towards his parents, and yet fearful of hot-tempered and beloved wife, maintains silence like a hen-pecked husband. Its sheer selfishness when a wife wants her husband submissive to her commands and heartless towards his parents or relatives.

Now-a-days, parents feel their wretchedness when their wayward sons become unmindful and busy in their own family chores, and rarely visit them to have little, cheery chats and check their wellbeing.

Well, it’s an old story, but let me narrate this. A mother, of three sons and four daughters, toiled hard, with perseverance, in upbringing her children. Her husband was a tinsmith, and due to insufficient income, she supported her husband by clipping metal frames on calendars. However, after years of ups and downs in life, her sons and daughters got married. All her three sons followed their father’s profession, but they were earning ample income.

I remember the old lady, her husband and their three sons, with their families, stayed in one house, with partitioned rooms. Of the three sons, her second son was an expert tinsmith and he used to earn lot on new and big contracts. Sadly, the wife of this rich son was so haughty, and in those days, she used to dictate and send her old mother-in-law, who raised her husband, to the nearby market for daily groceries. Besides this, she least revered her father-in-law, and she behaved, like a chief in the house with all snobbery and rudeness. Five years back, the old lady passed away, after miserably living widowed for two decades.

It’s absurdity when women deem that because of them their husbands are fortunate and rich, and as such they can hold the helm of the house and control their hubbies as and when they desire. Ah, based on their berserk whims and attitude, they try to influence their husbands, and on the contrary, they overlook and disrespect their in-laws.

Obviously, in some cases, darling daughters, who leave their dear parents and homes, and start living with their husbands after marriages, have to face hurtful behaviors and unfair sufferings from their in-laws. With such instances, those who, out of helplessness, harbor patience and etiquettes can manage to pacify situations.

But, with prolonged hostility and perverse tension from in-laws and due to unsupportive husbands, it becomes unbearable for wives, without any regrets, to continue further, and in the halfway, instead of apologies and accord, miserable marriages end up into distressing divorces.

In fact, what matters most is how you weigh relationships, with all courteousness, fairness and tolerance. Consequently, it should be understood that manipulative conversations and trivial meddling can trigger frustration and conflicts whereas little compassion and care can bring in harmony and happiness.

Sometimes, when in-laws are gracious, forgiving and appreciative, even then a daughter-in-law turns out to be rude and rebellious.

In addition, when a wife is constantly concerned about her husband only and gives no regard to her good in-laws, then that’s like a deception that sows differences, and with recurring and scornful altercations, it isolates familial relationships.

Nevertheless, the big dilemma is: If a husband stays timid and turns deaf ear and blind eye towards his bad-tempered and wilful wife, then who can dare to discipline her and teach morals?

Image source: saudigazette.com.sa