Mama Didn't Raise No Victim Feminist
“Oh Mama, don't let your daughters grow up to be victims...”
When I visit my mother for Thanksgiving, there's something important I need to thank her for. And that's for specifically raising me to not be a victim.
I was hanging out with a friend recently, a strong, powerful woman who would never take any crap from a jerk. Her husband is one of the sweetest men alive. We got to talking about how we learned not to be victims and I was surprised to learn that she had not, unlike me, learned at her mother's knee.
She figured it out herself and when we swapped notes they were pretty similar - know the misogynists and control freaks when you see them and steer clear. The moment they start acting crazy, you're outta there. The thing is, not all women understand this. Young girls and young women really can't be expected to work it out on their own.
If their own mother is/was a victim of a jerk of a guy, then it's no wonder they never figured it out. I don't blame them, or their mothers.
My mother was one smart cookie from an otherwise overwhelmingly man-pleasing generation. I remember from a very early age, probably puberty when she started talking to me about girly stuff, she drummed it into my head that you don't take no caca from a man. She didn't put it quite that bluntly but the point was very clear. You respect yourself, you expect nothing less than respectful treatment, and you never, ever, let a man hit you again. If he hits you once it's the last time, you're out the door and you don't look back.
Now there's this:
You can guess where the arrow is pointing.
The truly pathetic part is the dumb look on her face. She seriously has no idea she's just legitimized sexual predation with a shirt and a vote. I wonder if she'll think it's funny if someone takes her advice--with her daughter. And I wonder if she has a son?
I wish this lady had had a mother like mine.
Unfortunately, the victim mindset infects many, and encompasses more than just the danger of physical abuse. Plenty of women old enough and educated enough to know better still cling to the notion, often subconsciously, that women are forever at risk of being victims. Although men will likely always be more physically powerful, on the business end the boys' power structure is beginning to fall - the glass ceiling at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue looks particularly damaged these days. Never mind Joe Biden's pranks, Mr. President-Elect: Watch out for falling glass! Naomi Wolf, author of Fire With Fire: The New Female Power and How It Will Change the 21st Century,described women's conflicted feelings about personal and political power as 'victim feminism' which identifies with powerlessness and a chronic sense of being under attack despite their own growing educational, financial, political and voting clout. The alternative, far fewer in number even today, is the 'power feminists' - women who identify with power and strength. Who value themselves and who refuse to be victims.
Power feminists see the world differently. We don't have time for real misogyny - but don't regard all men as The Enemy. Victim feminists hammer at men not to rape and sexually abuse women or to tolerate it in others and hope that eventually they 'get it'. In the power feminist world, misogynist men don't get laid because women Just Say No. These bozos can evolve or die alone with their computer porn. We don't care.
That would surely be bad news for the Red Pill Brigade, wouldn't it?
Of course, any woman can be victimized. It can happen to the best of us. But not everyone is ruined for life. Major Rhonda Cornum was captured by Iraqi forces during the Persian Gulf War and sexually assaulted. With two broken arms she was more concerned that her fellow male captive might get shot trying to defend her than she was about getting raped.
"You're supposed to look at this as a fate worse than death. Having faced both, I can tell you it's not. Getting molested was not the biggest deal of my life."
Not everyone can respond to an assault with the trained military aplomb of Major Cornum, but the rest of the article details her view that even being a POW isn't 'devastating'; it 'depends on yourself'. In war, rape or sexual assault is just one of the many horrors faced not just by female soldiers but male as well, along with many other tortures of the damned (just ask Senator John McCain). You may not have the power to prevent or stop victimization, but you have control over how you respond to it.
Victim feminists are threatened by the notion that women have power over themselves and their lives, and cry, “Don't blame the victim!”
To which I say, don't BE the victim!
In the next four years, women may well be subjected to some ugly behavior legitimized by an aging post turtle and his cabinet of old white dinosaurs who think sexual assault is okay.
And then there will be incidents like this:
Nicole Chardenet is a freelance writer who never gets hassled in elevators so she must be doing something right. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org, unless you're a LinkedIn Himbo looking for romance, upon which she'll merely trash your email without making a huge public fuss about it. Because, you know, power feminists have more important things to do! #NastyWomen