#MeToo And The Feminist Elephant In The Room
What started this fall as a much-needed, long-awaited veritable explosion of female anger towards men who give men a bad name, starting with Harvey Weinstein, has begun to sound a little ominous around the fringes.
Truly appalling stories of sexual abuse, harassment, assault and demeaning comments (“F**k her in the pussy!”) have gone on so long now that I think I hear the distant crack of a forthcoming backlash.
I’m not the first person to suggest that the #MeToo movement may spawn this backlash, but I may be one of the first, if not the first to suggest that it might be for reasons other than what I see in the left-leaning press now, which still argues that conservative sexists are just looking for a way to get back to their entitled, male-privileged, phallocentric right to grope, maul, and molest women at their leisure.
As opposed to, say, aspects of this laudable, long overdue movement that are nevertheless making some of us feel a bit uncomfortable.
Not the part that is putting male dirtbags under a microscope and on strong notice that their shit will no longer be tolerated.
Just some very strong hints of unfairness and hypocrisy that will likely fuel the backlash far more than the Roy Moore Mall Ban.
Like the support for....
No due process for accused dirtbags
There is a line of thought among some feminists that believes that due process, a citizen’s right to fair treatment by the law, should somehow be revoked for men accused of any sort of sexual transgressions.
I saw it recently by columnist Shree Paradkhar (I call her Shrill Paranoid), the Toronto Star’s new-ish answer to a race and gender columnist. She appeared to speak disparagingly of the use of the word ‘alleged’ in relation to sex crime accusations against several powerful men:
“Note the word ‘alleged’ in conjunction with their offences. It’s a legal cover, only to be taken off if the act is proven in a court of law. It stays there otherwise, thumbing its nose at victims, with its built-in skepticism, the benefit of the doubt predicated on the principle of innocent until proven guilty.”
That ‘built-in skepticism’ reminds us that nothing has been proven in court. Judicial law states that ‘the accused’ has only committed alleged crimes if and only until they have been proven in a court of law. Ms. Paranoid—er, I mean Ms. Paradkar – would be grateful to see the word ‘alleged’ before any crimes attributed to her if she was accused of any.
“That is an excellent, civilizing principle, but to impart justice in cases of sexual assault, the laws clearly need review and the system, reform.”
Because, uh, men are less equal than women? Because we'd be better off returning to medieval law when an accusation was all you needed to, for example, execute a witch?
Maybe because sexual assault cases are notoriously hard to prove? The Toronto Police Department can’t even identify the killers of 60% of the murders in the city in 2017 because of the difficulty of the cases. Yet no one’s arguing against due process for ‘persons of interest’.
I saw the same dangerous argument made by some female commentators here in Toronto after the end of the Jian Ghomeshi trial debacle. A trial in which the accused now-former CBC radio host was acquitted for lack of evidence even though pretty much everyone in Toronto, including the trial judge, believed Ghomeshi was guilty of sexual assault.
The problem was, when you wait ten years or more to accuse anyone of anything, as his three accusers did, it’s pretty much a guarantee that the accused will be acquitted, and it doesn’t help when the witnesses throw in collusion, ‘inconsistencies’ and ‘outright deception.’
Because as we all know, women never lie
Not about sexual offenses anyway.
That’s the feminist narrative, a direct response to an appalling historic record in which women were often not believed when they alleged sexual abuses committed against them, a record which we see mirrored today in less enlightened countries where women are blamed for their own rapes, accused of ‘asking for it’, and otherwise treated with a skepticism that wouldn’t greet, say, someone alleging that their house had been robbed.
On the other hand, I learned when I was young that, well, sometimes women lie about being raped.
I saw it first when I was in high school, by a teenage girl I knew to be spoiled and vindictive, who made the accusation only after a failed months-long campaign to get her old boyfriend back.
Then it happened again, shortly after I was out of university. A male friend of mine was accused by a new woman in our group whose story changed until, well, it wasn’t strictly speaking a rape, in the sense that they did have consensual sex, but he said something he shouldn’t and things just kind of spiralled within our group. Fortunately that one was never reported to the authorities, unlike the first one, which was thrown out of court due to lack of evidence, but still stayed on the man’s military record.
It was definitely one of your ‘grey area’ cases. If you think it’s a miscarriage of justice on the part of the ‘alleged’ (sorry, Shrill) victim, ask yourself how likely you are to catch the perps if you wait three months or ten-plus years to report a robbery in your home.
So when feminists tell me that ‘False rape allegations almost NEVER happen,” I cast as jaundiced an eye on that claim as I do misogynists who claim that real rape almost NEVER happens.
Why do some men still think they can be sexual predators?
Donald Trump took 53% of the white women’s vote. As people call for him to resign or hope for impeachment, he has about twenty accusers who claim he sexually harassed or groped them, several of whom had come forward before the election. Which leads to a few uncomfortable questions:
How many #MeToo’ers voted for Donald Trump? It’s hard for me to believe that none of his female supporters were ever sexually harassed or assaulted. Who hasn’t been? It’s also hard to believe that no one who’s told their #MeToo story voted for Trump.
How many women were actually okay with being groped by Trump? He is, after all, a rich plum, and he was arguably attractive back when he was younger, less corpulent, and less pukey-orange.
I’ll bet they didn’t all complain.
Let’s not forget 63% of largely born-again Christian (and once again, overwhelmingly white) women in Alabama who voted for famed ephebophile Roy Moore. He lost, but he came close to the prize because the women weren’t sure the allegations were true. Black women voted against him by 98%, although they may also have been motivated by his claim that America was last great ‘even though we had slavery’ because ‘families were united.’ I assume by that he meant ‘white families’, because black families were notoriously split up on the whims of slave owners and auctions and the women routinely sexually violated.
Here’s a really unpleasant thought for feminists:
Male sexual predation will end only when enough women want it to.
Because what message does it send to common male dirtbags when a confessed sexual predator gets elected to the highest office in the land and a grown man with a penchant for teen tail nearly gets elected to the Senate?
As we debate the allegations against the King of Hollywoodie Pervey, er, Harvey Weinstein, the inevitable they’re-all-lying-bitches accusations fly while Twitter is aflame with #MeToo and we debate Why, oh why can’t we just believe the victims? Why do we have to traumatize them all over again with disbelief and trolls and Trumpanzee hatefests?
It’s time to address some of the reasons why rape allegations are not always believed, and why there are skeptics and critics, especially when allegations are laid against a powerful man. It’s the elephant in the room that too many feminists simply will not address or even acknowledge exists. It’s going to come back and bite us in the ass, now or later, but it’s coming, so stock up on Bactine, ladies.
False rape allegations
They happen. Deal with it. More often than women will admit, and less often than men want to believe.
It’s estimated between 2-8% of rape allegations are false. Where that number comes from is complicated and not very scientific. ‘Men’s rights activists’ claim the number is probably closer to 50-80% while women’s rights groups attempt to downplay the importance and claim that even if the 2-8% is true, that’s nothing compared to the 92%-98% of women who really are raped. Although when it comes to exaggerating unproven statistics, feminists have demonstrated themselves to be just as prone to inflation as men, as the famous ‘rape statistic’ that 20% of college campus women were sexually assaulted has been seriously called into question as constituting an unproven, statistically deficient feminist fantasy. Or not, depending on whose opinion you prefer. The jury’s still out:
How many women are actually raped every year is also as fuzzy as the false rape allegation statistic since answers vary all over the map, and even defining rape (or its much fuzzier sister, sexual assault) is problematic.
Feminists who can fulminate longer than a Strom Thurmond filibuster on the ruined lives of rape victims are oddly dismissive of the ruined lives of men falsely accused. Of the ways their names are dragged through the mud and the courts, the friends lost, the relatives who won’t speak to them or their families, the ruined chances of finding a job when all a potential employer has to do is Google one’s name to find the past news stories.
If you were to ask almost any feminist if getting the rape rate down to one a year was acceptable, she would almost surely snap back, “There is NO acceptable number! One is too many!”
What about genuine false rape allegations? How many is too many? Is the ‘acceptable number’ of such acts the same as the ‘acceptable number’ of rapes? Or is one higher?
Such blithe dismissal doesn’t help the rape-justice warriors and especially not actual rape survivors. It fuels the arguments that, well, you know, sometimes women lie.
Has #MeToo gone too far?
With thousands upon thousands of #MeToo tweets catalogued, one wonders whether all of them are legit or perhaps exaggerated. Or, you know, false.
I can’t help but wonder as I watch #MeToo meander, whether some women are using this as a vehicle to get back at an ex-boyfriend, an ex-husband or just an ex-friend.
Humans can and do lie. Even woman humans. Lying is so bad God invented a Commandment against it. It wasn’t gender-specific, either, so he must have thought women could bear false witness too.
I don’t know that any of the #MeToo stories are falsified or exaggerated, but it’s gone on for so long I have to wonder. Absolute power corrupts, and power corrupts absolutely. “Believe the women.” Dogmatically. I don’t trust power in anyone’s hands. It is the most potent intoxicant in the galaxy.
I wonder whether the backlash will take the form of men who’ve been falsely accused of sexual assault, including men who can prove the woman was lying.
Or perhaps the backlash will be men accusing women of sexual predation. If it was a woman who preyed on them, what, isn’t he supposed to want that? At least if she’s hot, amirite? If he didn’t it’s because he’s gay, right?
Related: Female stalkers and their victims
And if the predator was a man, well...everyone will really think you’re gay. That you wanted it. That you asked for it.
Welcome to our world, guys.
How willing will women to be to stand up for a man who can prove a woman lied about sexual assault? Or will feminists look the other way and whistle in the dark?
How willing will women be to stand up for men who complain of male sexual predation by males? Or will their attitude be, Suck it up, buttercup?
And what if the backlash is worse? What if #MeToo metastasizes to include bullying of all sorts, by anyone, male, female, or otherwise, and they start naming names? On social media?
This could get ugly, ladies. Very, very ugly. When someone tags your name, will you be ready for it?
Chardenet is quite sure she’s never preyed on a man before but only
pretty sure she’s
never sexually harassed one. She might have to cop a, Seriously,
I don’t remember, geez it was 1992!
plea. But, she’s willing to ‘fess up if she thinks it
sounds like something she’d have done, or remembers it. She might
get nailed in a #MeToo bullying campaign, but so will everyone else
on the Internet. Anyway, if you need her contact info for the
class-action lawsuit it’s right here.