Patrick Scullin

5 years ago · 1 min. reading time · 0 ·

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BORSCHT OR BURGERS? TRUMP GOES AMERICAN

BORSCHT OR BURGERS? TRUMP GOES AMERICAN

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President Trump faced a difficult decision yesterday — what to serve the college football champion Clemson Tigers during their White House celebration visit.

“The president has excellent taste,” political advisor Stephen Miller told The Lint Screen. “He originally wanted to expand the palates of the players with bowls of borscht, a beety bounty. Umm, who doesn’t like borscht? But he had a change of mind.”

Instead, Trump decided on serving a buffet of fast food burgers, fries, salads, and pizza.

“The White House kitchen is closed because of the government shutdown — which is the fault of the traitor Democrats,” Miller said. “So, our glorious leader took matters into his hands and ordered the delicious American food. He even paid for it with his very own money. American money! Obviously, the president loves America, and the Democrats do not.”

When the bills for the food arrived, the president offered to pay ten cents on the dollar. “It was great advertising,” said Miller. “He is a great leader.”

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Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He has an upcoming novel, SAWDUST, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).


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Comments

Jim Murray

5 years ago #2

PD Scullin. I heard today that Michael Strahan has invited the Clemson team for a lobster dinner to reward them properly for their win.

Jim Murray

5 years ago #1

LOL. If nothing else you have definitely nailed who is actually running your country. Happy New Year, sir.

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