Candidates To Wear Electric Debate Collars
After numerous complaints of poor behavior during this campaign season, the League of Women Voters has decided that presidential candidates must wear electric shock collars in future debates.
“We’ve seen Hillary and Donald square off, and it was ugly,” said Emily Tortsover, the head of the debate organizing committee told The Lint Screen. “And last night, we witnessed the Tim and Mike show. It was an awful affair and their behavior was completely unacceptable. We’ve tried rewarding candidates with treats for good behavior, but that doesn’t seem to work. Something had to be done, and electric collars are the natural solution.”
For Sunday’s presidential debate, Ms. Clinton and Mr. Trump will be outfitted with heavy duty electric neck collars. “We can issue up to 50,000 watts if anyone gets too out of hand,” said Ms. Tortsover. “We hope we won’t have to go to that extreme, but we have a bank of generators just in case. We really don’t want to tax the power grid if things get ugly again.”
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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O'Haire Advertising(ASO), and has created campaigns helping Georgia Aquarium, The Coca-Cola Co., UPS, Golf Pride Golf Grips, Mitsubishi Electric, Delhaize America, Georgia Natural Gas, Mellow Mushroom and more.
He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).
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