LOONEY LIBS PUT JUDGE JEANINE IN PENALTY BOX

Something is wrong in America when a justice warrior and truth teller like Judge Jeanine Pirro is benched by her network for speaking her mind about headwear fashion.

Fox News, long regarded as America’s bastion of quality journalism and news integrity recently yanked Judge Jeanine’s popular show in response to remarks the fiery beauty made concerning controversial Muslim Democratic congresswoman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.).

But is that really what happened?

Or, did liberal moneybags and muckraker George Soros bribe the Fox News brass to get his way and have the good Judge sidelined to keep her yap shut? That’s just the kind of un-American behavior Soros loves to bankroll.

The Lint Screen has learned the evil Soros plot may have merit. We cannot disprove it!

But we’ve also learned of another theory–– that the JJ hit job was performed by the ghost of traitorous Sen. John McCain! This theory is that McCain spooked Fox into doing his bidding as a way to harass Donald J. Trump from beyond the grave. When he was alive, McCain resented the fact our brave president dealt with painful bone spurs while he was lollygagging and sashaying about in the Hanoi Hilton (thanks to his being captured–– the easy way out of fighting a war).

Either theory could be absolutely true. Fortunately, Judge Jeanine has a big fan in her corner–– the president himself! He Tweeted over the weekend from his Mensa meeting that she should stay strong and fight.

And we are certain she will! You can’t keep a good woman down, especially one with very white teeth.

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Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertisingand recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He has an upcoming novel, SAWDUST, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).