Patrick Scullin en satire, Humor (English), Marketing and Communications Empathetic Adman • Ames Scullin O'Haire Advertising 18/10/2016 · 1 min de lectura · +100

Millions of Americans Conspire In “Rigged” Election

Millions of Americans Conspire In “Rigged” Election

The Lint Screen has learned through an exhaustive journalistic deep dive that millions of Americans are conspiring against presidential candidate Donald J. Trump, just as he suspects.

“He’s on to us,” said a shadowy figure who wished to remain synonymous.

The conspiracy is widespread as a majority of American voters have been secretly meeting late at night and agreeing they would not vote for Trump.

“The joke’s on him,” said one unnamed source who wished to remain autonomous. “He thinks he’s going to win, but he’s not. I know it’s cruel to lead someone to believe something on purpose, and then kick him, but, what can you do–– it’s funny.”

Trump has said publicly he’s suspected the upcoming election is “rigged” and like most of what he says, he’s spot on. Indeed, the rigging is underway as voters begin casting early ballots and the big fix comes down on November 8.

“It’s too bad Trump’s such a smart guy and he knows the shenanigans we’re up to,” said one of the conspirators who asked to remain Anthonomus. “It’s going to break his heart, but it’s going to be a blast watching him pout and get angry.”

For the record, The Lint Screen has never been awarded a Pulitzer Prize and we know that the whole damn thing is rigged because everyone knows we deserve one!

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Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O'Haire Advertising(ASO), and has created campaigns helping Georgia Aquarium, The Coca-Cola Co., UPS, Golf Pride Golf Grips, Mitsubishi Electric, Delhaize America, Georgia Natural Gas, Mellow Mushroom and more.

He has two blogs:  Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire,  smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).




Jim Murray 18/10/2016 · #2

I can only echo your sentiments. I will rejoice at the epic fail of this deplorable, with his delusions of grandeur and his hollow threats, his non-platform, his undisclosed tax returns and his Stepford wives and children. I would call him scum, but real scum would get upset at being lumped in the same category. Good post. Scintillating dialogue and reportage. You deserve a Pulitzer indeed, sir.

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Kevin Pashuk 18/10/2016 · #1

cc @Jim Able ... a satirical kindred spirit.

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