Protests Erupt Over Bannon’s TLS Interview
The global offices of The Lint Screen were swarmed today by tens of thousands of angry protestors upset because the internationally renowned publication had interviewed unemployed Steve Bannon.
The tarnished former presidential advisor was foolishly hoping to get hired at The Lint Screen, a popular website known worldwide as “Where fake news gets real.”
“The editor felt sorry for Bannon,” an unnamed TLS staffer told this intrepid TLS reporter. “First, poor Steve got booted from the White House. Then, he got the bum’s rush out of Trump’s army of suck-ups. And now, Breitbart has thrown him to the curb like a spent Mickey’s Malt Liquor bottle. The guy’s as popular as herpes at the prom.”
The Lint Screen security staff tried for hours to disperse the agitated crowd, then called The National Guard. Its soldiers used tear gas, rubber bullets, and nightsticks upside protestor noggins to scatter the mob and restore order.
And that, dear reader, is how you’re able to read this timely dispatch.
TLS forever! Mr. Bannon, we’ve heard McDonald’s is hiring — make some deliveries to The White House and that may get you back in the