Russians Open Consumer Tech Services Company
Capitalizing on its success in hacking political email accounts, a new Russian enterprise has been launched in the United States.
Called Geekski Squad, the tech services company will be affiliated with Best Buy stores.
“Are proud to be in U.S.,” company spokesperson Ivan Kyzmanokoff told The Lint Screen. “Believe we offer capitalist citizens best tech services with deep knowledge of hacking and tech. Also offer poisoning service for elimination of enemies. Convenient payment plans available.”
When asked if Geekski Squad will replace Geek Squad, Comrade Kyzmanokoff lit a Sobranie cigarette and spoke in a low measured voice. “Most unfortunate accident have Geek Squad. All people dead. Too bad. New company needed, Best Buy hire Geekski Squad. We also help them sell insurance for products. All good now.” The Russian thrust out his hand and gave a thumbs-up sign as he attempted smiling.
Kyzmanokoff said the company is in the process of reviewing ad agencies to handle its marketing account and looks forward to expanding throughout North America.
#######################################################
Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O'Haire Advertising (ASO), and has created campaigns helping Georgia Aquarium, The Coca-Cola Co., UPS, Golf Pride Golf Grips, Mitsubishi Electric, Delhaize America, Georgia Natural Gas, Mellow Mushroom and more.
He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).
"
Articles from Patrick Scullin
View blogEx-prez promises lots of stuff at his rally. · Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trum ...
The Secret Service accepts no blames for missing texts on January 5, and 6, 2021. · Jim Fletcherson ...
Sen. Lindsey Graham lectures women about sex education. · Leave it to Lindsey! · The self-righteous ...
You may be interested in these jobs
-
Staff Nurse
Found in: One Red Cent US C2 - 1 week ago
United Health Services Johnson City, United StatesStaff Nurse, UHS Wilson Medical Center · United Health Services is seeking a Staff Nurse to join our Med Surg NT 2 department at UHS Wilson Medical Center in Johnson City, NY. This position is benefits eligible. · Shift: · All Shifts · Hours per week: · 28 · Salary range: · $ USD ...
-
Sr. Software Engineer – SAP Commerce
Found in: Appcast US A2 - 35 minutes ago
Universal Orlando Orlando, United StatesUniversal Orlando Resort believes in-person collaboration is key to our success. Many of our Team Members work in a hybrid capacity, contributing from the workplace a minimum of three days per week. There are also roles that require being on-site full time. Limited remote opportu ...
-
Grant Management Specialist
Found in: One Red Cent US C2 - 3 days ago
New Jersey Institute of Technology Newark, United StatesTitle: · Grant Management Specialist · Department: · Office of Research & Development · Reports To: · Director of Pre-Award Services · Position Type: · Staff · Position Summary: · Under · the direction of the Director of Pre-Award services, the Grant Management · Specialist prov ...
Comments