TRUMP’S LEGAL TEAM BOLSTERED

The president is like an ambulance — he just naturally attracts lawyers.

Today, Sarah Huckabee Sanders told The Lint Screen that Rudy Giuliani, President Trump’s legal mastermind, has gone to the bullpen and hired the respected law firm of Dowee Cheatem & Howe.

“The deep state is working overtime,” Sanders said. “Lawsuits keep piling up against our glorious leader as enemies of the people try to fight the president’s efforts to make America great again. So we will be fighting fire with fire. Dowee Cheatem & Howe has a worldwide reputation for legal excellence.”

Atty. Curly Howard said he is looking forward to being on team Trump. “He’s innocent, I tells ya. Innocent! We’ll get him off all charges, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!"

Atty. Moe Howard drew a saw across his partner’s head. “Shuddup, why doncha?! Quit givin’ away our strategy! It’s a secret, you numbskull!”

Atty. Larry Fine tried to alleviate tensions between his partners. “Hey, Moe, c’mon now — ” he said, as Atty Moe Howard grabbed a fistful of his partner’s hair and yanked it out. “Ow!” Atty Fine remarked. “That hurts!”

Atty. Moe Howard stuffed the pulled hair into Atty. Fine’s mouth and punched Atty. Curly Howard in the stomach. “Shuddup, you two nitwits, or I’ll murder yas,” Atty. Moe Howard declared.

As the intense legal battle continued, lead legal counsel Rudy Giuliani entered the room and witnessed the mayhem. He grabbed this reporter and shoved him out of the room and into the hall.

“Leave them be,” Giuliani said. “Those guys bill $1,800 an hour and don’t need any distractions from the press. Just report this — if the president did anything, it’s legal. That’s the law! Case closed!”

______________________________________________________________

Patrick Scullin (aka PD Scullin) was a founder of ASO Advertising and recently left the ad game to write what he wants, wrangling parts of speech to entertain and amuse.

He has an upcoming novel, SAWDUST, and writes two blogs: The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements) and Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification).