Attack of the Extroverts: Why and How to Switch

We are under attack. Make no mistake. We are. The attack is insidious. Not only do we not recognize it as an attack, we actively support it. We welcome our attackers in. We elevate them to positions of power over us. We accept the punches. We do it with a smile. We think it’s for our own good.

No more.

The masthead image well illustrates what people consider as the truth. Why are introverts shown as being sad, maybe even a little depressed? Why are we portrayed as unlikeable lumps?

No more.

I’m not an extrovert, but I play one in Life

Most people think I’m the stereotypical extrovert. I’m loud. I’m brash. I’m risk-tolerant. I can crack joke after joke. I have spoken to groups as large as 1750. I stretched 5 minutes to thirty at a local comedy club’s open-mike night.

I don’t know what stage fright is. I’m not shy, but I am an introvert.

Shyness and introversion are not synonyms.

I’m reading Susan Cain’s book: Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that can’t Stop Talking.

She has re-awakened things that I buried long ago.

Early on in the book, Susan writes about the Subarctic Survival Situation brainstorming session. Harvard Business School pioneered this test. Every other business school adopted it.

You may not know this test. The Subarctic Survival Situation is a classic small group brainstorming test.

The group is set this problem. They crash-land on a lake in some northern place. They can salvage fifteen items from the plane. They discuss what they salvage and how they survive. The whole thing is videotaped.

They compare the group’s conclusions against expert opinions. They then review the tape.

Susan mentions one case where an extrovert drowns out an experienced outdoorsman. The group follows the extrovert and fails. It fails miserably.

That hit too close to home. I was that guy, not the extrovert that led everyone astray. I was the other one. 

I like the solitude of the deep woods. I love waking to bird song. I love the subtle swoosh a canoe makes as it glides along. I once went on a solo canoe trip with three days of supplies. I stayed out for a week.

The correct solution to the Subarctic Survival Situation is second nature.

I was the guy who went along with the group. I knew they were wrong.

I went along anyway.

I have never been as embarrassed as when I saw that effing tape. Not before, not since.

I made a vow that day. Never again will an incompetent blowhard drown me out.

If the world wants extroverts, I’ll be an extrovert. How hard can it be?

As it turns out, it’s not hard at all.

Again, shyness is not introversion. An introvert is someone who does not need outside affirmation. We’re thinkers first. That doesn’t mean we shy away from action when action is called for.

Action was definitely called for.

To fake my way as an extrovert, all I had to do was pre-plan possible situations and my responses to them. 

It worked like a charm. I got a reputation for thinking on my feet. I could spit out ideas "off the cuff" as if completely unrehearsed. No one saw the planning behind the spontaneity.

It was all Bullshit. I even rehearsed my signature smart-ass one-liners and comebacks.

It’s exhausting. I’m not doing it anymore. Why should I? Why are extroverts the ideal we should all aim for?

The short answer is, they aren’t.

I mean, if you are an extrovert, good for you. I’m not. I don’t want to pretend anymore, so I won’t.

A Look at Inconsistencies

We learn that if we fail to plan, we plan to fail. But, we insist that the ability to react without forethought is a good thing. How are the two possible? It’s planning or reacting. It can’t be both.

So which is it?

Is it that we plan the long term and react to the short term? That can make sense. How do we define which is which? How short is “short?” How long is “long?”

When does strategy become tactics?

The Subarctic Survival Situation assumes that leaders should be vocal. What a load of crap!

Leaders should lead their teams to success, not abject failure. I have nothing against leadership as a concept. I do have issues about what passes for leadership today.

He who shouts loudest is rarely right.

Leadership is not a good thing in and of itself. Adolf Hitler, Jim Jones, and Genghis Khan were all effective leaders. We can do with less like them.

Leadership is a great power. With great power comes great responsibility. Extroverts think Spiderman’s Uncle Ben said that. Introverts know it was Voltaire.

It is not necessary that leaders be vocal.

They should be thinkers. They should be planners. They need to be communicators. They need to understand their teams’ strengths and weaknesses. They then deploy them where they will do the most good.

Sounds to me like leaders should be introverts.

So which one are you?

Are you a closet introvert like me? Are you an extroverted wild man? More likely, you fall somewhere between the two extremes.

The attached Slideshare is a verbatim copy of the informal questionnaire that Susan put in her book. It's on page 13 of "Quiet". It is only twenty questions long. It's quick and it's revealing.

Just add up the "yes" answers. The more introverted you are, the higher the number will be.

I recommend Susan's book to anyone. Every communicator should read it. Extrovert or introvert, you need to know how to reach both. You can find it on Amazon here. It's also available in Kindle format.

Susan Cain and I are not connected here, nor do I know her. If anyone does, please extend my thanks to her. Tell her, for me, "Susan, your book has lifted a weight from my shoulders that I did not know I carried.

This recovering pseudo-extrovert thanks you."

Here's the quiz

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