I am Mr. President.
Saturday, November the 12th, 2016. 1500 Hours.
Just a little over 72 hours since I won the Presidential elections of the United States of America, 2016. Everyone now calls me the 'President-elect' and, well, I've deserved it. I've worked hard, I've won hearts, I've won people, I wish to see my country as the greatest in the world, I have the desire, passion and now authority to bring about the ultimate change America needs to see in 2016. the world may be shocked, people may hate me, but I don't honestly care the least bit about all these, they happen every single day. I, Donald John Trump am here to 'Make America Great Again'.
How must I introduce myself to people who don't know me? Wait. Shut up. Everyone knows me. I'm going to be the 45th President of the United States. On January 20th, 2017, I'm to head straight to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and am to oath "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States". How must I explain how elated I feel writing this, I am going to be, Number 1 in the Forbes List of "The most Powerful people in the world". Even Obama is in Number three. Such a shame. He's already two points short of making America great. I am to fill in this shortcoming.
I simply fail to understand why people simply cannot accept the fact that I'm going to be their next President? Even my opponent Hillary Clinton in her concession speech made it extremely clear, in one sentence. When your secretary of state tells you to stop whining, You. Stop. Whining. Unless you're that British comedian John Oliver. Man that guy just wouldn't stop talking, and why do people even listen to him? I'll tell you, I'm going to be the President and I'll ban his show, or at least appoint Schwarzenegger as my White House Chief of Staff and make him sit next to the English as he talks. But most of all, what's with all the immigrants? All of a sudden there's protests on the streets, chaos beneath my 24-carat gold made Trump Tower(oh and by the way, that's a no fly zone now so you shouldn't even dream about it), stupid people cannot accept that I'll be their President. Okay, don't listen to me. At least listen to your Democratic Diabolical President Barack Obama. He addressed the nation about his peaceful transition of power. He, your leader is in such a peace then why couldn't you?
Even then, let me tell you about what you all are to see in the coming 4 years. Although I've made all my points perfectly clear in all the campaigns, and given that I've also won 278 electoral votes I expect everyone to know my thing. Even then, this below is your future:
• First of all, I need to call up my brother Putin and ask him to handover Snowden which, he'll absolutely agree to. I've dealt with Russia before and we get along very well, much like Tom & Jerry just that the Russians don't like Cheese much! Either way, He'd never keep Snowden in Russia. He hates Obama, he disrespects Obama and, Snowden is living the life! I'll ask Putin, he'll say yes. Poof. Snowden is gone.
• Oh yes The Wall, The Wall, Americans not The Vow. I'm not a romantic, although Rachel McAdams is one hot mess, but we're dealing with Tango & Chillies here. The Mexicans! Yes, I'm going to build that wall and Mexico's going to pay for it. Neat.
• I'm President. You're all going to s