Can We Talk?
In my last article, called The Most Dangerous Weapon in the World, I wrote about the dangers of using harmful words and the answer is good communication. Let me recap. “It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the fellow’s viewpoint, and he understand’s our, then we can sit down and work out our differences.” – Harry S. Truman.
Because people communicate in so many ways, we many times lack the patience to understand someone else, which can lead to anger.
Today, I am going to go over the variety of factors that make communication difficult between people.
A. We communicate in different ways:
Share-Your-Feeling VS Just-The-Facts
- Share-Your-Feeling communicators feel deeply about what they share. For them emotions are simply part of thinking.
- Just-The-Facts communicators set aside emotions for logic, reason, and fact. For them, emotions interfere with good thinking. This is like a Vulcan from Star Trek.
Enjoy-The-Ride VS Land-The-Plane
- Enjoy-The-Ride communicators think you might as well relax and enjoy the ride or the conservation. The trip itself is what it’s all about.
- Land-The-Plane communicators want to find the shortest path to the goal. “Get to the Point” is on their mind.
Thinking-Out-Loud VS Let’s-Take-Turns
- Thinking-Out-Loud communicators ask questions and make comments as soon as the thought occurs. This might even occur if another person happens to still be talking at the time. For this group of people, conversations are a fun group activity.
- Let’s-Take-Turns communicators use the principle of justice and fair play to communicate. Their rules to conversations are simple: first you talk, and then I talk.
B. The second factor that make communication difficult between people is we communicate on levels.
As seen above, understanding deepens with increased levels of communications. Yet, each level necessitates an increasing degree of trust, communication, or risk. Effective Communication with someone is an ongoing process.
Like I said in my last article, Anger can sabotage this communication. You may have communication habits that need to be broken. So work to develop new habits for communication with those who need it. “Put on…compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12)
C. Communication is a two-way stream.
Listening is sometimes what we need to work on most. Here are four quick tips to listening well.
- Give focused attention. “…listen to me, and be attentive to to the words of my mouth.” – Proverbs 7:24
- Listen with acceptance, and understanding
- Ask clarifying questions; make summarizing statements.
- Focus on what is being said, not the way it is being said.
In this article, I’ve shown you that there are many different ways that people communicate. By opening yourself up to different people and styles of communications you will learn how to communicate better.
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