“Holy Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat Hot Peppers!-This Year’s Harvest”

    I’ve been growing my own hot peppers for a few years now and usually yield enough that once dried last me through the winter until the following year’s crop. I always grow Habaneros, Scotch Bonnets, Ghost, and Jalapenos, last year I added Burning Bush and this year in early spring when I saw seedlings at the local nursery for Carolina Reaper and Trinidad Scorpion I jumped on them, I’ve never tried either of these last 2 peppers before so I’m quite excited. I also have a “Wild Card” this year, I received a packet of seeds, from a friend who knows of my interest, that was just labeled, “Caribbean Hot Peppers”, I germinated them and put 12 seedlings into the same large pot, not expecting much, and they are growing quite well. I’ll give you my conclusions/theories about what they are in the final analysis. I didn’t grow the Jalapenos this year as I’m sure they would have felt insignificant, unworthy, and irrelevant next to all of these “Mega-Chilies”. (Seriously, they’re available year round in the grocery store so I went with the “More bang for my square footage” philosophy). These are, arguably, the hottest peppers in the world.

   My Love affair with spicy food/hot peppers began when I was around 8 years old due to my mother’s incredible cooking and her adventuresome taste/palate. (Probably what sparked my interest in Cooking as well). Along with the wide variety of other foods that we had growing up “spice” definitely had a niche in our diet. I remember when I was 10 my mother told me that spicy food was addictive due to it causing the brain to release endorphins, as well as the neurotransmitter dopamine.

     https://helix.northwestern.edu/blog/2014/07/your-brain-capsaicin

     My early years in Cooking focused mainly on Classic French/Continental Cuisine, not much in the way of spice but I still enjoyed eating spicy foods when I could. There were, (probably still are), some excellent curry houses in Winnipeg and Toronto in the early 80’s that some colleagues and I would dine at regularly, we would order Vindaloo, extra spicy, and watch each other sweat, I swear that I could feel every hair follicle on my head stand straight up from the heat and I could feel a breeze blowing over my sweating scalp. Needless to say that we had to drink copious amounts of Kingfisher beer to battle the heat and the proprietor’s, who knew us, (and probably thought we were absolutely crazy), had a never ending supply of dry towels to drape over our shoulders as we feasted on the spicy meals. 

In the mid 80’s I left the “Classic” hotel kitchens for upscale contemporary restaurants just as Cajun/Creole, California Cuisine, Sushi, upscale Italian and Mediterranean cuisines, Thai, and Curries were gaining popularity in the mainstream culinary world; it was an explosion of flavors, textures, ingredients and “Spice”. I am to this day a “Classic French” Cook as the techniques can’t be bettered and applied to this influx of new flavors, ingredients and ideas it expanded my base repertoire fantastically. I enjoy California Cuisine, upscale Tex/Mex, Thai, Cajun, Mex/Latin, and East Indian as well as the Classic French and Italian. I was learning more about new seasonings, ingredients, combinations, techniques and CHILIES. This was a natural stepping stone heading towards “Fusion” cuisine which became popular in the 90’s, and while many purists out there will scoff at the concept I will debate endlessly the advantages of mixing the best aspects of several cuisines/cultures/techniques/ingredients etc. together; when executed subtly and intelligently. (Besides I can guarantee that virtually everything cooked in kitchens today is technically “Fusion”). My learning curve accelerated dramatically when I left Canada in 1988 and landed in the Caribbean for the next 20 years. The Chilies/Peppers, as well as the cuisine, I was exposed to there were phenomenal! 

     A quick tutorial;

-         The heat of a pepper is measured in “SHU”, “Scoville Heat Units” which is an “educated guess” of the amount of Capsaicin, the heat/spice component, that is present in the pepper

-         There are a myriad of peppers from around the world ranging in heat from 0 SHU, sweet bell pepper, to over 2,000,000 SHU, Carolina Reaper, Trinidad Maruga Scorpion, and there are several species that range well over the 1,000,000 level. Reality check; for those of you that think a Jalapeno is hot they are rated from 3,500 to 8,000 SHU, I do love Jalapenos, they have a great flavor and are integral to many recipes.

-         Pure Capsaicin is rated at 16,000,000 SHU

-         Military/Police grade pepper spray averages 5,000,000 SHU

It must be pointed out that there are many inconsistencies with both, the Scoville test/scale, and with each particular chili.

  I’ve also found great inconsistencies in particular peppers regarding the heat content. I once got a 5 lb. box of Jalapenos that had no heat, I could take the whole pepper, eat it like an apple with virtually no “spice”, and I’ve received some that were twice, or more, hotter than normal. I’ve had Scotch Bonnets that blew my head off in the same week as Red Habaneros that were half as hot as them, (Although cousins the Habaneros are generally twice as hot as the Bonnets), I’ve seen inconsistencies with the same pepper, from the same plant, from the same farmer, that was harvested at a different time of year. I’ve tasted differences in the same peppers from different geographical locations.

     I have posted an example of a scale here, you can see more at this link;

    https://www.google.ca/search?q=scoville+scale&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwintZXPkt_VAhVi7oMKHdNNCmUQ_AUICigB#imgrc=_&spf=1503003231321

     I’m sure that you can see the inconsistencies with the lists including what the hottest pepper is on each list and what the corresponding SHU rating is for each one, and for all peppers listed.  

  I consider the Scoville scale as a “guideline”; I check and take the peppers as they come. You will see on all these lists that every pepper is given a “range” of heat, some of them quite wide, possibly to compensate for these inconsistencies.

  Another disparity is nomenclature, where a type of pepper will have several names or different peppers with the same name, depending on location mostly. Different places have “local” names. On Grand Cayman the farmers sold me their local “Goat Peppers” which were Habaneros. “Scotch Bonnet” is used loosely throughout the Caribbean to describe many hot peppers. “Viper”, “Devil’s Tongue” are used loosely as well. Sometimes, regardless of what type they are, they are just referred to as “Seasoning peppers”. Many species have numerous varieties, like Habaneros as an example, (one of my favorites and has been a staple in my kitchens for years, also relatively easy to source in every location I’ve been, including New Zealand), the list on the following link shows 12 varieties of Habaneros alone, while many others there are closely related to Habaneros.

  Here’s a great link showing some of the more prevalent species and varieties;

      https://www.cayennediane.com/big-list-of-hot-peppers/#blop+p:6

  As you can see it is not an exact science.

   As far as the “Great Debate” goes referring to “What is the hottest pepper in the world?” Any one of them could be on any given day, just like the “Roger’s Cup” Grand Slam Tennis event a few weeks ago in Montreal where unseeded 18 year old Denis Shapolalov defeated the #1 seed Rafael Nadal in early rounds, (no puns intended, LMAO!). Regardless, once the peppers reach the 1,000,000 SHU level, and higher, any one of them is going to blow your head right off of your shoulders, right into next Tuesday. Wikipedia discusses how the Ghost was the hottest at one point, then the Scorpion, then the Reaper, with a few “guest appearances” from others in between;

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhut_jolokia  

Capsaicin is the molecule that makes the pepper hot; Capsinoids are other flavor ingredients in peppers, (although only 0.1% as hot as Capsaicin), that are derived from the compound vanillin, which gives vanilla its delicious taste and smell. Next time you’re cutting into a Habanero see if you can recognize any hint of that familiar vanilla smell. While in Auckland, New Zealand I was hired as the Chef to open a new upscale “contemporary” restaurant that had a strong Caribbean influence on the menu, the latest trend in Auckland at the time, 1999, (I had just landed there from The Cayman Islands). One of our signature dishes was a “Scotch Bonnet & Coconut Ice Cream” which, as bizarre as that sounds, was actually quite good. The key to it was “Discretion & Moderation”, (as that’s the key to most things, especially with hot peppers). Just enough pepper to create “warmth” in the mouth to juxtapose the frozen cream and for the characteristic flavor of the chili to come through but with the traditional vanilla bean cream base, lime juice and coconut cream the flavors all harmonized together. For this particular application I did remove the seeds and membranes, which I rarely do, from the peppers, that carry most of the capsaicin, (although they still had quite a “bang”), which then allowed more pepper “garnish”, a nice vibrant orange brunoise through the white Ice Cream with minute black flecks of vanilla bean seeds and bright green hints of blanched lime zest, it looked and tasted great, garnished with banana and coconut tuiles.

     How to check the heat of a pepper? The best way, especially when you’re not sure, is to stab a pepper with an unflavored toothpick, spin it inside the heart, remove it and touch it to your tongue, as you become more confident you will spin it on your tongue.Caution; resist the urge to close your lips around the toothpick as you remove it from your mouth. Initially you will get a hint of flavor… wait for it… in 10 to 20 seconds the tingling will start, and then, in the famous words of Chef Emeril, “BAM!” you’ll know how good/hot the pepper is.

Just for the record I’m not one of those die-hard extremists that will enter a pepper eating contest or eat a whole Habanero in one bite, those people are just crazy but I guess “to each his own”, although I will eat a whole Habanero, sliced very thin, over the course of a meal, especially if rice is involved. We’re all different and enjoy different amounts, one of the reasons I dry my chilies, everyone that comes to my house can use as little or as much as they want, although I highly recommend that they start out slowly at first, LMAO! (Even dried they retain their incredible heat) I enjoy all types of peppers, the mild have a wide range of flavors and many applications, “spicy” is not the “end all and be all” in the vast culinary world but it does have a niche that is very exciting.

   (My garden, peppers are in 5 gal white pails)

      There are many variables that can influence the growth, and heat, of a pepper, particularly environmental conditions, I agree with that; but how they influence I’m still not sure. They say that the hotter the climate then the hotter the pepper will be; that may be but the peppers I’m growing here, outside, in Northern Alberta are as hot as any I’ve had in the Caribbean, Central/South America, or Indonesia. We can get severe weather here in the summer, thunderstorms, hail, tornadoes, etc. conditions that relate to hot weather and while my plants may look a little “rough for wear” who’s to say that the extreme weather doesn’t influence the heat?

  Having said all of that, for the sake of expediency, and to cut off any die-hards who want to pursue a futile debate, I’m going to talk about “What is the hottest pepper in my yard?” this year.

I’ll start out by listing a few of my favorites to begin the scale from mild to hot, and to give a perspective;

-         “Bell Pepper”, , 0 SHU, Eat it like an apple

-         “Anaheim, Poblano, Guajillo”, 500 – 4,000 SHU, nice flavors, grill as vegetable or use for “Chili Relleno”, sauces, salsas, etc.

-          “Jalapeno”, 3,500 – 8,000 SHU, great pepper, mild heat, use 8 in batch of salsa/Pico de Gallo retaining seeds and membrane of 2 and removing from other 6. (I always use fresh grated red radishes in Pico de Gallo), and many other applications.

-         “Peter Pepper”, 10,000 – 23,000 SHU, The presentation applications alone of this chili are worthy of a mention. (see picture :-) )

-         “Serrano”, 10,000 – 25,000 SHU ,warming up now, causing a sweat to break, excellent flavor for Latin dishes, great for stews, chilies, sauces/coulis

-         Cayenne, 40,000 SHU

-         Tabasco, 50,000 SHU, getting difficult to eat raw, (for most people)

-         Thai Chilies, 50,000 – 100,000 SHU

  These are just a few examples of the variety of peppers available that are under 100,000 SHU, and they are starting to get hot. Now we get into the really hot peppers, there are quite a few ranging from 100,000 to 250,000, but I’m going to talk about the “stratosphere” of hot peppers, over the 250K mark. (“Hot” being relative, I haven’t forgotten about you “Crazies”, an extreme minority that will chomp down a whole Scorpion or Reaper in one bite, but there’s something not quite right about that, LMAO!)

    There are a lot of peppers that can be included in this upper heat category but I will just list the       ones I have growing. As I’ve discussed the shortcomings of the SHU system and I have no real way to implement this test at home I will list an “average” that I’ve researched off of the internet for each particular species, I will list my personal “guesstimate” of the SHU, and I’ll add “Randy’s Descriptive Scale” as well, (just for an alternative perspective, these reactions from the “toothpick test”).

The "No Shows";

It's a funny year as everything seems to be coming late. We're only 2 weeks away from the "First day of Autumn", kids are back in school, cool nights and the leaves are already starting to turn color here; yet I have 2 plants that although have flowered still have not produced peppers. The "Ghost" and the "Caribbean Hot". As you can see from the photos my sunflowers haven't even bloomed yet, (and I plant my seeds at the same time every year, early), so the plan is to bring them indoors in a few weeks, build a suitable place for them in the basement with light and water and see how they fare over the winter. I'm told that as the plants age the peppers will get hotter so these first few that I've harvested are just a taste of what's to come.

"Scotch Bonnets"

Internet Ratings; 100,000 - 400,000

Randy's Guesstimate; 250,000

Descriptive Rating; 

   -         Mmmmmm. Suave, sophisticated, ethereal experience, multi-layered flavors much as I would imagine the 7 depths of Hell to taste like. Devil’s fart would feel like air conditioning right now, speaking of which my wife just told me, “Satan called…he wants his pepper back”, I could probably eat beach sand right now and spit out marbles.

  Much as I remember Scotch Bonnets from the Caribbean. Great heat and flavor, integral for "Jerk", "Rice n Beans", "Marinated Conch", (When Bahamian "Bird" Peppers aren't available), Curries and other recipes.

    "Habaneros"

    Internet Rating; 200,000 - 550,000

   Randy's Guesstimate; 350,000

   Descriptive Rating; 

     WOW! A saucy, rebellious kick. Kind of like sticking      my head in the tail end of a running jet engine. If this    makes contact with the corn in my bowel I’ll  be projectile  farting popcorn for the rest of the day; my ass  is going to  have to registered as a lethal weapon. In the  immortal  words of Ringo Starr, “I’ve got blisters on my  fingers!” I  should have worn gloves.

   As I said before this is my favorite all around pepper for general use, and it has been easily attainable everywhere that I've been. Great heat and flavor. I have high hopes that as the plant matures so will the heat of the peppers, (hopefully with all of the plants).

"Burning Bush"

Internet Rating; 200,000 - 500,000

Randy's Guesstimate; 400,000

Descriptive Rating;

    -     Robust, full bodied, with a slight fruitiness, reminiscent of magma. If Frodo had one of these he never would’ve had to take that trip to Mordor to find Mt. Doom. In an act of mutiny and retaliation my rectum, wanting NO part of this, has clamped shut tighter than a vice at the anticipation of this coming down that way.

Some may argue that this is just a type of Habanero and others may say it is a Hybrid, it is very similar in taste and heat but this plant flowered and fruited weeks earlier than any of the others and has far more fruit on it right now as well. Good plant for northern climate. Very tasty with good heat and hotter, (right now anyway), than the Red Habanero.

"Trinidad Scorpion"

Internet Rating; 500,000 - 2,000,000, (there is a wide range due to variety of types)

Randy's Guesstimate; 600,000 - 800,000

Descriptive Rating;

-         Instant Sauna! Involuntary tears, or is that my eyeballs sweating? Hair is standing straight up and I can feel a breeze blowing across my skull, I never thought that my hair and nails could sweat, I just farted steam. A chicken would lay hard boiled eggs after eating this. I should have gargled with SPF 1,000 sunscreen first, now I know what the Sun tastes like; “Supernova” is a description that comes to mind. This is as close to spontaneous combustion as you’ll ever get without actually bursting into flames. You break out in a sweat and your sphincter tingles just from the smell of it.

Never having tried one of these before I was not disappointed, getting close to being one of the hottest peppers I've ever had, ("Ghost Pepper" being the hottest that I've had to date). fantastic flavor, a little will go a long way.

"Carolina Reaper" 

Internet Rating; 1,200,000 - 2,20000,000

Randy's Guesstimate; 1,000,000++

Descriptive Rating;

-         WTF!!! OMFG!!!! Call 911! Oh Thank God! My mouth is numb and my head is gone. In the immortal words of Harlan Ellison, “I have no mouth & I must scream”. Nice! I’ll have enough of these that I’ll never have to turn on the furnace through the winter, or wear clothes for that matter.  “Flame On!” (Reference to “Fantastic 4”) …Flame Off! Flame Off! Flame Off! Oh Dear God for the Love of Christ PLEASE FLAME OFF!!! Upon exhaling I now know what a flamethrower must feel like, hmmm…I could probably light the BBQ with my breath, Hey! Does anyone have a Crème Brule they need caramelized? Oh Boy! I just realized I’ll have a rectal blow torch tomorrow, “Baked Alaska” anyone?

OK, this is definitely the hottest pepper I've ever tried. Quite difficult to estimate how hot it really is as I have no point of reference to draw from, except that it's hotter than the other peppers. I will keep these, and the Scorpions, separate from the other peppers when I dry them and use them for "Special Occasions", LMAO!