Randall Burns in beBee in English Chef/Consultant • RB Consulting May 24, 2019 · 10 min read · 3.9K

"Tales from Paradise" (The Poem), Chapter 3

"Tales from Paradise" (The Poem), Chapter 3

Suggested reading;

  "Tales from Paradise" (The Poem) Chapter 1


  "Tales from Paradise" (The Poem) Chapter 2


Well another year has passed

Wow did that ever go fast

So now the time is due

For some more prose for you

I hope you’re all well, healthy and happy

You’d better get comfy, I’m feeling quite chatty

It’s been one hell of a year, epic for sure

But not like you think, it was quite a detour

Here’s a quote from John Lennon, I’m sure you’re all fans

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”

Regardless of that, whatever the sacrifice

Life is still an absolute Paradise

Before I continue I want to reiterate

What a beautiful world in which we inhabit

So many wonders, conveniences, and advancements

Anything you could desire for any enhancement

But with ALL things being equal my only real paradise

Is to be out flying a kite with my grandson Bryce

I’m extra thankful right now, counting my blessings

And I’ll soon get to the point, no need to keep guessing

I will do a shout out to all my favorite Bees

Maybe with summer you might all unfreeze

I’ve noticed the engagement has been light of late

I know we’re all busy with too much on our plate

As I always say the moment is NOW

To appreciate and cherish this paradise somehow

I admit that I’ve been MIA as well

Been preoccupied, busy and dealing with hell

Here is my story and please don’t misunderstand

I’m not crying or whining, everything was unplanned

But that’s the whole point, I’m talking about perspectives

To celebrate our life that is my objective

Whether you see a struggle or a joy it’s up to you to decide

Whatever life throws at you it can be a joyride

I really don’t have an axe to grind

I truly hope for the best for all of mankind

It was the last day of November,2 days after my birthday

I awoke with such pain, I thought it was doomsday

I raced to the ER, I could barely drive

It was over the top, didn’t know if I would survive

It was 5 excruciating hours later with still no prognosis

Everyone was baffled and could not make a diagnosis

So the ambulance rushed me to Edmonton, 3 hours away

With constant shots of morphine to keep the pain at bay

I barely remember being wheeled in on a gurney

A circle of blue masks above me prepared me for surgery

And I was GONE…

It was a couple of days later when I finally woke up

I felt really weird; there must have been some kind of mix-up

I felt confined due to wires, hoses, and tubes running from every orifice

IV’s in my arms, and 48 industrial staples down my midsection looked very ominous

I knew that was going to leave a scar, just another addition

To my already extensive and rather vivid collection

A doctor was there, he asked, “How are you doing?”

I signed that I couldn’t speak, (I’m sure that was obvious), it was all very confusing

He handed me a board with a dry erase marker

I wrote, “WTF happened to me???” I had been given no quarter

There was nothing wrong with my ears they were my only holes not plugged, so you can imagine my surprise

When he reached out and grabbed the board and the marker right from under my eyes

I watched just befuddled as he intently wrote his response, hmmm…

For such a “smart guy” he was kind of dumb

So with uncontrollable guffaws I started laughing my ass off

I really couldn’t help myself, and I was really trying not to scoff

The poor doctor misinterpreted, much to his shock and dismay

He thought I was convulsing so put me back under for a few more days

Well that’s just the blueprint for the next 31 days

That I spent in the hospital, including Xmas and New Year holidays

This is a story unto itself that will be written in the future

I will list all the details including the debate of staples vs. sutures

Apparently it was a fluke no one could have foreseen, like the planets all aligning

Some meds I was taking for an unrelated condition weakened my intestinal lining

And like Krakatoa erupting with no indication or warning

A HUGE hole blew open with no symptoms or forewarning

The point is that I survived death, yet again

And live another day to make Quiche Lorraine

It is a reminder, just one of many that I’ve had

It’s really not a bad thing, no reason to be sad

We are all destined to die, that is one sure thing that I know

Choosing to use that knowledge is nothing to forego

I’ve had many reminders, brushes with death

Each time is humbling, and a lesson but I’ll fight to my last breath

I lost 35 lbs and 3 and a half months but I’m recovering of late

I’ve returned to work and gained back my fighting weight of 198

I’m still the same person as I was before; I’m sure to everyone’s relief

This has just reaffirmed, reinforced, and re-ignited all of my beliefs

I’m playing “catch up” now and re-connecting with the world

Like a sailor trimming a wayward sheet of a sail that’s become unfurled

This is my gesture of appreciation to all of you in beBee land

I value the chance to share my voice; I’ll try not to be too grand

Where’s Javier 🐝 Cámara Rica? Haven’t heard from him lately

His input is always appreciated greatly

A great mind is Ian Weinberg whose insights and work shine a positive light for all of us

I believe in Karma and every interaction that Ian partakes in is a paradise, hence a plus

Hope that you’re enjoying the paradise daily buddy

Although it never hurts to have a single malt in the study

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador is our resident romantic

Her storylines rival even the plot of “The Titanic”

Another great writer with insightful perspectives is Pascal Derrien

And regardless what you may think he is not contrarian

My favorite headhunter is 🐝 Fatima G. Williams

Her perspectives are worth absolute millions

Here’s a shout out to Phil Friedman my friend

He is a great writer and a boat expert to no end

It would be a joy and a privilege to go sailing with you one day

That would really be paradise; we could listen to some reggae

Can you name the boat I’m on in the picture here? It’s certainly no sleigh

A very brave soul is Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee; you’ve seen more pain than most

Your writing really moves me

Just read, “My name is Asia”, and you will surely see

And then there’s Harvey Lloyd, as I say he always delivers

I still want to visit you and partake in a beer on your river

He writes insightfully on management and leadership

Without going off onto any kind of ego trip

But what’s most appreciated are his “Harveyisms” on life and humanity

Law of unintended consequences” and “Man card wearing thin”, not being said sarcastically

But All knights grow old in the saddle…”, yes that may be true

Regardless of that I’m still a knight Harvey, and so you are too!

And now we come to Cyndi wilkins, she’s got her S&*%t together!

Always a kind word and sage advice, regardless of the weather

Are you looking for a better way? Try reading “Mind Management 101”

Any of her posts will help you out and reconnect you when you’re done

Oh Lisa Gallagher where art thou?

I hope you’re enjoying this paradise right NOW

His profile says “Engineer & technician”, but Bill King is much more than that

He writes and comments on any subject and partakes in any chitchat

It’s been a long time since I heard from Sara Jacobovici, I’m sure she must be busy

I hope you’re well, enjoying paradise and not tied up with too many committees

Joanne Gardocki is a positive thinker and is always a breath of fresh air

Great thoughts, articles and for comments she always has a moment to spare

Now I know I used this picture last year, and I really don’t want to look like a shmuck

But I just had to include my uniquely Canuck “Buddha-Inukshuk”

Another intelligent and busy bee is Deborah Levine

She’s a thought leadership coach; that makes me really keen

Another philosopher of great stature is Deb Helfrich who’s thoughts and input matter

Check out her profile and a few articles too, this isn’t just idle chatter

Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBeer expounds the virtues of Social intelligence

She’s supportive and insightful with no hint of arrogance

I must say that Lisa Vanderburg's last 2 pieces are very inspirational

Sincere, heartfelt and dare I say it? Sensational!

It’s never too late to learn and grow, or dance, love and be joyful

I must admit that your writing moved me and yet it is still playful

A special Thank You to-Edward Lewellen although I don’t really know you

It’s Lisa Vanderberg’s testimonial, you brought her out of her blues

Helping other people is the noblest of aspirations

To me you’re a hero that is my declaration

Debasish Majumder is a poet of distinction and a generous soul

A prolific writer but for other bees all he does is extol

Hey Wayne Yoshida how are you doing? I hope that you are well

Look at me go on BBQ, it’s too bad our devices can’t smell

Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador is a true queen among bees with her feature “Hive Talk”

Promoting other bees in true ambassador fashion she writes like I cook in a Wok

Mohammed A. Jawad writes thoughtfully on many topics as well as supporting other bees

His insights and comments are like a refreshing cool breeze

Lada 🏡 Prkic is an engineer , Head of the Technical Development Dept.and otherwise intelligent person

Your writing is great, your interactions wonderful, you can communicate to any layperson

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee is one of brightest stars in the sky

Intelligent, witty, and interactive too, he’s really not a “wise-guy”

A prolific writer on many topics just try a few of his posts

A real gentleman and one of the smartest bees that you’ll find from coast to coast

Our travel writer is Paul Walters it’s a great job to talk about paradise

With his descriptions and insights of exotic places he sure does entice

A really great thinker is CityVP 🐝 Manjit articulate, witty, and he’s a toastmaster

He’s an avid soccer fan and writes about that like he’s a sports broadcaster

Your comment last year stated that you weren’t quite a Canuck and that you had 5 years to go

Well if you like beer can watch a whole hockey game and don’t mind the snow

I would call you a Canuck right now and the last 4 years we can forego

Oh where is Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess? I could really use her help right now

What goes here? A conjunctive adverb or an elliptical clause? I really need her know-how 

Geoff Hudson-Searle is an inspiration but I haven’t read most of his work

But what I’ve seen is motivational and what I have read is pure artwork

Try “Can we truly renew ourselves” to start with

And you’ll see that Geoff is a true wordsmith

A beautiful soul is Savvy Raj, she writes and dances, it makes me glad

Her perspectives are serene and tranquil, her philosophies clear and unclad

Claire L Cardwell is an architect and she writes about her passion

This is a topic that never goes out of fashion

Renée 🐝 Cormier is a positive life coach she is in the “People Business”

She writes great stuff, just try, “The science of Happiness”

I feel that Praveen Raj Gullepalli is a kindred spirit; we laugh, talk and listen to the same music

A great thinker your comments are always insightful and lucid

I don’t know if it was a past life but I feel like I’ve met you before

I hope to cross paths in this life and that sentiment I underscore

Gert Scholtz is a Mate from sunny South Africa

That’s quite a long way from here; snowy Canada

He says I’m welcome anytime to partake in their local “Braai”

But I’m undecided as to have a beer, a "Chop ‘n Dop” or a “Bring and Braai”

I must address “Attila the Pun” aka Ken Boddie

His verse and rhymes just borderline on the side of being naughty

Everyone and everything is fair game, (he just might be Illuminati)

You can run but you can’t hide; there’s no defence not even Karate

Jerry Fletcher is a speaker, a writer, and Grand Brand Poobah,

Reading his perspectives I’m reminded of Buddha

He knows that our friends are paradise as he eloquently writes

Check out “Pearl of a Pal”, I can’t think of a better last rites

I have an affinity with Paul "Pablo" Croubalian, he’s a great writer, thinker and a Cook too!

It’s on my bucket list to visit one day, talk about cooking, and enjoy a micro-brew

Bill Stankiewicz, 🐝 Brand Ambassador is a managing Director and known as “The Supply Chain Guy”

You always have time to support and interact with other bees, on that I can rely

One of my favorites is Nicole Chardenet, and her latest ‘wtchbabe” tales

You really bring out the pagan in me as you go into intricate details

My favorite day is June 21, the Summer Solstice, and I can’t help but think

If it was 10,000 years ago we’d all be dancing naked around Stonehenge and having a drink

Here’s a shout out to 2 of my favorite Canucks

Haven’t heard from Don 🐝 Kerr in a while, and the other is Kevin Pashuk

I hope that you’re both well and enjoying the Spring weather

It would be great to have a beer and talk about paradise if we ever got together

Speaking of Canucks...

Jim Murray’s posts are insightful, perceptive and most times a great rant

Political correctness is not an option, not sure if I would introduce you to my aunt


To any Bees That I've missed, it's no means a "Dis"

There's always next year, please not too much anguish

So now we come to the favorite part for some which is my grandson Bryce’s section

It’s even greater this year as he’s feeling dearer; I hope no one has any objection

I’ll start with some early pics as I usually do to give some history

After looking at these I’m sure you’ll see why my affection is no mystery


I would like to digress for a moment here

To say something in case it’s not already clear

This “rough & tumble” life has brought me much pain

Extreme sports mostly but I’m not here to complain

And not to forget the over 40 years in the kitchen;

Make no mistake that’s a “full contact” activity; again I aint bitchin

The point is that pain is no stranger to me

This accumulation of scars makes me look almost beastly

But NOTHING cuts me quite as deep

As seeing the tear of an innocent child rolling down their cheek

So with Bryce’s first visit to me in the ICU you can imagine my reaction

The poor little guy really didn’t have any comprehension

When he saw me in that bed, he was wide eyed and full of fear

As he desperately came running to me he couldn’t help but burst into tears

We both held each other and cried for a moment until I deemed it enough

Then I pinched his cheeks and tickled his ribs and no I wasn’t too rough

He yelped and giggled, his tears cleared up and were replaced with his beautiful smile

In that moment we both knew that all was right in the universe so we just lay together for a while

And while I spent the holidays in the hospital much to everyone’s dismay

I’m very thankful to have made it home in time for Bryce’s birthday

I made his cake, we played and rejoiced, it was quite a celebration

But wow does time ever fly as now he’s 4! I can start taking him for vacations

If you’re ever looking for me and I can’t be found

Look to the sky and find the highest flying kite around

Follow the line back to the ground

And there you will find me and Bryce

Laughing, playing and enjoying Paradise

For those of you still wondering “Why are you so Fucking Happy?!”

Here’s an elaboration, I just hope you don’t think it’s too crappy


In the first few lines I say it ALL

“Well I woke up alive today”

Was I prescient when I made that call?

beBee land is just a void, a black empty space

It is the Bees like stars that shine and sparkle that give it its grace

Each one of you is unique with your value contributions

It is true paradise to see your insights and read your illuminations

With these thoughts I bring to a close this epic work of prose

How do I end it? How do I finish? Here’s what I propose

The final 2 paragraphs from the first 2 chapters are now as poignant as ever

And I cannot think of a better way to culminate this endeavor;

"As I say on my profile page, to the letter

"I'm lovin' life cause it just keeps getting better"

Who's to say how or why we're here

If nothing else at least enjoy the beer

All of our times come soon enough

There really is no point to bluff

So as you continue on your busy day

I hope there's one thought that you take away

When all is said and done

You are the ONLY one

That allows you to be redefined

"Paradise is a State of Mind"

   Happy Cooking Everyone!

 (Photo Credits- Randy Burns)

Randall Burns Mar 4, 2020 · #61

#60 Haha! @Don 🐝 Kerr great to hear from you Buddy. "Disquieting"? LMAO!!! I didn't think I looked that psycho... do I?

Don 🐝 Kerr Mar 4, 2020 · #60

Holy Crap Batman! Thanks for bringing this to my attention although the axe-sharpening photo was a little disquieting. So delighted to hear you're back in form. @Randall Burns

+1 +1
Fay Vietmeier Feb 4, 2020 · #59

#58 Then you are very well dressed & blessed Randall ... I'm going to read the post Lisa recommended:
Expanding the paradigm of our perceptions – senses & philosophy
I'll comment there ;~)

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Randall Burns Feb 4, 2020 · #58

#57 Great to meet you @Fay Vietmeier. Thank you for your kind words but I must confess that poetry really isn't my strong suit. Looking forward to checking out your links.

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Fay Vietmeier Feb 4, 2020 · #57

@Randall Burns
I happened upon you by way of @Lisa Vanderburg
So glad I visited your posts ;~)
You're quite the poet sir '~) ... and nice pics !
I too laughed out loud what you shared about the "smart guy" Dr ... truly ;~)

Sorry to read about the experience that (I can only imagine) almost landed you on the wrong side of the dirt ;~)
What a saga ! and told so poetically ... not a bit theoretically

I LOVE your generous spirit to highlight these bees ;~)
Some I have met ... and I'm so very pleased

For being a bee ... is ever such fun !!
I wish you many more days in the sun ;~)

Bryce is a sweet boy ... a gift sublime ;~)
I hope he is blessed with your ability to rhyme ;~)

The mind can be a thought machine
And rhyming words ... no easy thing ;~)

... if you have the time ;~) you can check the way I rhyme ;~)

+1 +1
Randall Burns Jul 19, 2019 · #56

#54 Thanks @John Rylance :-)

Randall Burns Jul 19, 2019 · #55

#53 LOL, not too lat for the never ending party @Susan 🐝 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess great to hear from you

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John Rylance Jul 19, 2019 · #54

#53 Great to come across a post by you Susan. I rarely see anything by you since I withdrew from LinkedIn. It's made a very wet dreary day much brighter. Thanks.

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