Get Ready to Bend Over and Kiss it Goodbye
For those of you who aren't familiar with Major League Baseball in the United States, please take heed of this warning.
The Chicago Cubs are one win away from winning the World Series.
The final game will be played tonight against the Cleveland Indians in Cleveland, Ohio.
This best of seven-game series is tied at 3-3.
The Cubs, facing elimination for the previous two games, are experiencing nothing short of a miracle.
If they should win, the world as we know it shall cease to exist.
These "Lovable Losers" from the North Side of Chicago haven't won the World Series since 1908.
Since then, they've appeared in seven World Series, losing each time.
The last time was 1945, during World War II.
It is the longest drought in the history of Major League Baseball.
Over that span of time, their rabid fans have stood steadfastly behind them.
I know. I've lived almost my entire life in the greater Chicago area.
The vast majority of my friends and family are Cub fans.
Nonetheless, generations of fans have come and gone, only to be continually disappointed.
I know that all too well.
My 90-year-old father is a die-hard Cub fan, having been born in the Windy City.
For his sake, and his sake alone, I truly hope they win this one.
Try as he might, he couldn't convince me to remain a Cub fan after the 1969 season.
That's when they became the "most celebrated second-place team in the history of baseball."
Instead of clinching the division championship, they lost by 8 games to the upstart New York Mets, who went on to win the World Series.
That's why they're called the "Miracle Mets."
After being in first place for 155 days, the Cubs managed to lose 17 of their final 25 games in September, and went home empty handed, again.
That's when I became a Milwaukee Brewer fan. That year represented the return of professional baseball to Milwaukee.
The owner of the Milwaukee Braves, who had won the World Series in 1957, moved the team to Atlanta following the 1964 season.
Granted, the Brewers have only made it to th