Here's Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Fail
As we wind down 2018 and ramp up for 2019, many of us feel compelled to somehow start fresh and do something different. We promise ourselves to quit things we know we should quit or to start doing things we know we should do. We may change for a couple of days, and then we slip back into our old routines. There are a few very good reasons why we fail to keep our resolutions and some are more obvious than others. Here’s my take on the situation and how you can make your dreams actually happen.
Reason #1: No Commitment. Nobody ever follows through on things that are not very important to them. We commit to things we really want to do and we let things get in our way when our plans are not that important to us. In 1997, I resolved to leave my husband and set off into the world of single motherhood with my three young children. I did that. In fact, by March of 1997, I was completely free and living sans husband. I was determined. It was important to me to follow through and I was fully committed to not letting anything stop me. Your commitment to change is everything. We coaches don’t like to take on clients who aren’t committed to success for a very good reason. They fail!
Reason #2: We Forget! There’s a reason goals need to be written down. If we don’t write them down, we forget about them, and of course, if you make your goals too long-term, you will not feel any urgency to complete them. Lack of urgency to complete a goal also means you will forget about it more easily. When I work with clients, I like to break down goals into one-month increments. Forget about what you are going to be doing or not doing this time next year. What are you going to be working on in the next 30 days?
Reason #3: No Accountability. Your coach is your accountability partner. People often think of coaches as councilors. They are not! We help you strategize and build commitment to your goals and we do that by making you accountable. You come up with the solutions and we hold you to your own vision. If you stumble, we keep you going forward, rather than having you stagnate or fall off the wagon completely. Accountability works. I used to use a colleague for accountability. We got lots done every week because we had to talk about how we were progressing. As soon as you stop meeting to discuss your goals, though…
Reason #4: Priorities Change: Humans change their minds a lot. That’s our prerogative. What seems important today, may not seem important in three months time. Life happens to all of us. People and circumstances cause us to want different things all the time. It helps to be flexible. This is another reason why having a monthly or quarterly resolution is better than having an annual one.
Reason # 5: No Plan for Success. So here you are. You’ve decided you want to lose 30 pounds, but your plan for success is really loose. “Yeah, I’m going on a diet,” you say. Maybe you figured out that you’re going to go to Weight Watchers or do the Paleo thing, or heaven knows what, but shit, you’re going to an all-inclusive in Jamaica in February and then you’ve got your cousin’s wedding in May and it’s probably going to take you 6 months to drop all that weight, and will you be exercising at all? Oh, and what about your birthday? You have to eat cake, right? This is how people fall away from their resolutions. They don’t have a really solid plan for success. You need to know exactly how you will manage your day to day life and stay motivated to reach your goal.
Reason #6: No Vision for Success: Another big reason for not keeping your New Year’s resolution is not having a clear picture of what success looks like. If you can’t envision what success looks like, feels like, sounds like, etc., then you aren’t really aligned with the goal. The vision is a big part of what keeps it real for you. Your vision will call you to the finish line, but you have to keep being reminded of what it looks like and how important it is to you. It really has to be so clear to you that you can almost taste it. I create scripts and PowerPoints to help me and my clients reach goals. They work!
Happy New Year, everyone! May 2019 bring you the clarity and the courage to be the best you can be. If you need any help with your goals, let me know.
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I am a certified coach practitioner and the founder of Belly Busters, a group coaching program that teaches people how to embrace a lifelong commitment to health and wellness. I am also a former public relations professional, adult educator and published author. My life experiences have been rich and have led me to the work I am doing to bring success and fulfillment to people all over the world.
I believe that nothing works well in life if we are not in harmony with our inner being. Self-destructive behaviours, self-sabotaging behaviours, anger, and control issues indicate that there is a disconnect between the outer self and the divine inner self. Once you heal that relationship, you will discover your career, your business, external relationships, your health, and overall wellness will improve dramatically. Please visit my website www.reneecormier.com for information about what I do and to reach me for support with your goals.