Royce Shook

3 years ago · 1 min. reading time · 0 ·

Blogging
>
Royce blog
>
Did I read that sign right?

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------------
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------
Spotted in a safari park:
(I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------------
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy! 
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
See if that works better than a fair trial!
 ----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? 
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************** ****************************** ********************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ****
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ***
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to bring a smile... (maybe even a chuckle).

c5bfda6e.jpg

Comments

Royce Shook

3 years ago #2

Ken what a great sign!

Ken Boddie

3 years ago #1

I use a picture in one of my quality control presentations, Royce, of a sign in a Japanese station. The English writing states “For toilets, go towards your back side”.

Articles from Royce Shook

View blog
3 weeks ago · 1 min. reading time

Are you we/they/them/it/him/her/binary? Questions we did not even think about when I was growing up. ...

1 month ago · 1 min. reading time

1. · My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. · 2. ...

2 weeks ago · 2 min. reading time

However, that the idea of human superiority is increasingly being challenged by scientists, philosop ...

Related professionals

You may be interested in these jobs

  • Sea to Sky Sailing

    sailing instructor

    Found in: Talent CA 2 C2 - 21 hours ago


    Sea to Sky Sailing West Vancouver, Canada

    Education: · Expérience: · Education · Other trades certificate or diploma · Work setting · Relocation costs not covered by employer · Sailing · Tasks · Perform routine maintenance · Oversee safety of operations · Professionalism in customer service · Work conditions and physic ...

  • The 401 Group of Companies

    Automotive Sales

    Found in: Talent CA C2 - 12 hours ago


    The 401 Group of Companies Tecumseh, Canada Full time

    When other dealerships are cutting commission rates and paying flats, we're looking to pay you MORE · The average salesperson has no control over their own income. We're changing the way automotive salespeople are paid. · We want to focus on not who you are, but who you CAN be ...

  • CB Canada

    General Labour

    Found in: Talent CA 2 C2 - 6 days ago


    CB Canada Whitchurch-Stouffville, Canada

    We are recruiting General Labour Associates to be part of a great organization leader on the Canadian Infrastructure market, including water transmission, bridges, storm and sanitary, tunneling and engineered precast products. · Apply today and join our growing team at an excitin ...