Keep on winking
A pharmacist comes back from his lunch to the pharmacy. As he approaches, he sees a man outside the pharmacy clutching onto a pole for dear life, barely breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
"Yes, he was." Replies the assistant. "He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
"Well, he seems to be fine now." "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of laxatives. Now he won't dare cough!"
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I’m afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied: "I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS."
An elderly woman went into the pharmacy. When the pharmacist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken aback, the pharmacist thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
The pharmacist thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well with one problem - he kept winking at the camera. The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking is a real problem. I'm afraid we won't able to hire you unless you get it under control."
"Oh, that's no problem," said the man. "If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking for a couple of hours. More than enough time to get the broadcast done."
"Alright, show me," said the interviewer. So, the man reached into his pocket.
First, he put his hand in his right pocket, and as he took it out, he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety and size, but no pills. Next. he dug into his left pocket, and again pulled out an embarrassing number of condoms in all shapes and colours before finally finding the packet of aspirin.
He took the aspirin, and the second take went without a single hitch. The interviewer said, "That's amazing, I'd hire you on the spot, except that we're not in the habit of hiring such womanizers. We've had too many sexual harassment suits."
"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!"
"Well, how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer.
The man sighed. "Have you ever tried going into a pharmacy, asking for aspirin, and winking all the while?"