Royce Shook en Lifestyle, beBee in English, Healthy Living Workshop Creator, Facilitator and Trainer • Seniors Helping Seniors Health and Wellness Institute 14/1/2019 · 1 min de lectura · +500

Some bad puns for January

January is a time for looking back and looking ahead.

Saw a kid standing on one leg at an ATM.

Confused, I asked him what he was doing?

He told me he was just checking his balance.

Q. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?

A. Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

Why did the tomato blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing.

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. – What a waste of thyme.

What do you call a dead parrot? Polygon

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED.

Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don’t be a BEACH.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? –Because they lactose.

What do you call a cow with no legs?  Answer: ground beef.

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. – What a waste of thyme.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

My friend could not afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”

Where do mathematicians go to die? The symmetry

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. – It’s nice to have a bit of company.

Some bad puns for January

Praveen Raj Gullepalli 26/1/2019 · #9

#3 We sure are having a lotta pun today Kennie Bee! :) We are all Shook up by dear Royce!

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Praveen Raj Gullepalli 26/1/2019 · #8

No wonder I always find my electricity bills so...shocking! ;)
After trying everything lose it - from skipping to kickboxing - you realise that it is a sheer waist!

John Rylance 26/1/2019 · #7

Chuckled my way through these. Can I add RIP boiling water. You were too young too bubbly to run out of steam. Your H2O friends all agree you will be mist. 

John Rylance 26/1/2019 · #6

#4 I tried to read it but it went right over my head. 

John Rylance 26/1/2019 · #5

#3 Ken, as I read the post the thought A pun a day etc. Sprang to mind.
Is it great minds think alike or fools seldom differ
The Jury is out on that one. 
The Judge is waiting for their verdict so that he say "Juryreally think so"

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Ken Boddie 26/1/2019 · #4

Incidentally, Royce, if you get fed up playing around with puns I can recommend this great book on antigravity. I’m finding it impossible to put down.

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Ken Boddie 26/1/2019 · #3

There’s nothing that’s quite so much fun,
As a clever and well thought out pun,
But if the intent is word pun-ishment,
Then it’s best to pull anchor and run.

A pun a day keeps the doctor away.

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