Some of My Favorite 'Old is' Jokes

Thanks to Wally for these gems. I post every now and then about the issue of ageism, however, age can be funny, but if you are upset by the humour here, I suggest your sense of humour and mine don't match. As we age, we need to laugh at ourselves. Enjoy

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says

'Let's go upstairs and make love'

And you answer:

'Pick one, I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you

On your new alligator shoes

And you're barefoot!

'OLD' IS WHEN...

A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy ...

And your pacemaker opens the garage door!

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You don't care where your spouse goes

... Just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down

By the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN...

'Getting a little action'

Means you don't need to take any fibre today

'OLD' IS WHEN...

'Getting lucky' means you find your car

... In the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up

To use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You enjoyed the Big Band Era: Sioux, Iroquois, Apache, Crow ...

'OLD' IS WHEN...

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

It takes twice as long to look half as good.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You have that “morning after” feeling when you wake up, but you didn’t party the night before.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are not sure these are jokes!

Have a good day!

"Young at heart"

(slightly older in other places!)