Royce Shook en Lifestyle, Healthy Living, Teachers Workshop Facilitator • Cosco Health and Wellness Institute 30/11/2016 · 1 min de lectura · +300

Success in life does not come from pacification or avoidance

When we achieve being loving with ourselves and others, life becomes the joy it is meant to be. Learning to love yourself starts with learning to be present in the moment, inside your body. It   also means trying to stay positive even when dealing with negative people. 

Success in life does not come from pacification or avoidance. To make consistent progress forward we have to consciously address the issues in our lives. We need a plan for how to make the most of those situations when we have to deal with negative people or negative situations. So, what are steps we can take to make the most of the negative people and circumstances around us?  Here are some ideas:

1. Look closely (93% of communications is non-verbal) and listen closely to what the person is saying. Use the time listening as an opportunity to check your own views and attitude. As Barbara Streisand said in one of the songs, "Don't Rain on my Parade", but if the person you are dealing with is being negative, look to see what you can gain from their rain.

2. What is their motivation? Some people believe that the easiest way to feel better about ourselves is by comparison to those that are in worse circumstances and some people are very good at doing this. However, focusing inward and striving for our personal best is a more rewarding way to feel better. Understanding the reason for the others negatively gives you an opportunity to empathise and to perhaps change the others view.

3. Remember that you are in charge of your situation and you should take 100% responsibility for your environment. So often we think that it is the job, the boss, or the other person, who is responsible for our situation and we look for another situation. We lose sight of the fact others have no control over us, except the control we give away. We have the control and we if we have given our control away we need to regain it. Three steps  to regain control are: 

  • Learn to say no, 
  • Walk away 
  • Learn to embrace the lessons life is teaching.

Negative people and circumstances will always be with us and without negative people, there will be no positive people. We live in a world with challenges, failures, and heartbreak, which allows us to have a world with achievement, success, and love.

Success in life does not come from pacification or avoidance

Max🐝 J. Carter 1/12/2016 · #3

#2 Actually the act of labeling someone with a word like negative is abuse and here's why.

You telling the rest of the word they are negative and creating an image of them that has people judging them and condemning them. Therese subjective terms make it much easier to judge and condemn someone.

Many of the people I have helped rebuild themselves often tell me of how they have been called negative and told their behavior is negative and then summarily ignored by people. .

In nearly every case they were being honest not negative. The source of their emotion being explained revealed every time a sensitive human who wasn't going to lie to get along with the crowd and saw how the crowds behavior was causing them to inflict pain and suffering on many. .

Having these terms in the lexicon as acceptable ways of describing the emotion rather than simply using the name of the emotion itself arms the ignorant who don't know any better with simple terms they need to emotionally abuse someone.

Scientific studies have shown that to ignore someone causes emotional pain for the one being ignored.

So when one is honest and pops the delusional bubble of another the bubble popper is often called negative and shunned and is usually popping the bubble of a delusion held by a peer group.

Anyone who does not join in the delusion is shunned and acceptance a basic emotional need is rejected based in a lie. The group uses terms such as negative to justify inflicting this emotional pin and suffering.

What's wrong with mad, sad, and why do we need to classify beyond that when exploring the reason for the emotion should be our only concern if we care about someone other than ourselves.

Royce Shook 30/11/2016 · #2

#1 Hi Max, you have an interesting view, and while I agree that using the terms positive and negative people can and perhaps does for some, limit their view of the world, I am not sure if this could lead to abusing or dismissing others. We are, I agree, emotional creatures, and while the emotion just is, as you say, I believe we have a need to explain/understand our emotion and so we put on labels on our emotions. I agree that when some of us use labels, so we can use them to protect ourselves from hearing the truths others speak to us. I am not sure this labeling could lead to abusive behaviour or absolution from guilt about that behaviour, but I enjoyed your viewpoint.

Max🐝 J. Carter 30/11/2016 · #1

I disagree with there being positive and negative people as i see those terms as limiting to ones view and could cause one to abuse others and dismiss them simply saying they are being negative. Here's why.

We are emotional creatures and no emotion is negative or positive. It is. Often what the metaphor of positive and negative calls negative behavior is anything that is in opposition of our desires being fulfilled.

What if they are being honest and this truth hurt our feeling and made us sad and then angry to cover up the pain?

Often people who want to reject what was said will call it and the person negative to negate the experience and therefor negate the value of the person who spoke honestly.

That is an abusive view that encourages abusive behavior by assigning what is positive and negative which is totally subjective to the individual using the terms regardless of any one's intent of using these subjective terms differently. It provides a mechanism for abuse with absolution from guilt.