Who Will "Bee" The Hero Of Your Own Story?
You turn on the television after coming home from a long day of work. As you click through the channels, you end up watching an old episode of Super Soul Sunday with Oprah Winfrey. As is the case for you on many occasions, her message and words impact you on a very deep level. You view Oprah as a hero; an embodiment of the abundant life you would love to aspire to, but highly doubt you can, or ever will.
Though on this particular day, you are more proactive than most people watching Oprah on T.V. – you are inspired into taking action. Having made the decision to apply something Oprah said to your own life, you create success in a desired area of your life overtime. With great enthusiasm, you immediately begin sharing with others about your recent success - friends, family, and maybe even complete strangers. And you also share how amazing and inspiring Oprah was - you feel incredibly thankful for her and how she helped you out so much in your own life.
“Oprah is my hero!” you think to yourself. A large smile warms your already exuberant face.
If not Oprah– maybe you have had a personal mentor, life coach, or trainer that inspired you in a powerful way. This person challenged you to push beyond your own limited beliefs and fears to achieve something truly wonderful in your life. The relationship with this individual has made a profound impact on your life. You believe this person is so incredible – maybe even your ‘hero.’
You are half correct, in my opinion. Oprah is a hero. That amazing mentor is a hero. But they are heroes of their own story.
Who is the hero of your story?
I believe you are, or at the very least, have the POTENTIAL to be. Unfortunately, my believing this doesn’t mean all that much in the grand scheme. YOU have to choose to be the hero, or ‘act as if’ you will be at some point. And hopefully, some point soon.
Though not knowingly referred to as a ‘hero,’ given my background working as a clinician, personal trainer, and coach, I got accustomed to the recurring notion of clients viewing me as an ‘expert’, or someone who significantly helped and motivated them to accomplish their goals. Someone they trust and come to with some of their biggest strengths, weaknesses, and obstacles. On one hand, if I didn’t believe I possessed a natural ability and passion to be great at encouraging others and the fine art of challenging people to reach their goals, I’d be in the wrong profession.
On the other hand, I’m careful using the word ‘expert,’ and even more careful with the word ‘hero.’ It’s a case by case basis, but generally when I see this mindset becoming persistent with a client I’m working with, I am quick to intervene.
Wanna know why? Ok, I’ll tell you.
Because this type of thinking could leave my client, even after working with me over a long period of time, still heavily relying on ‘my wisdom’ or ‘my advice.’
This is NOT my goal. Not at all.
My primary goal is to teach and empower clients to use THEIR own wisdom and strength so that eventually, they won’t need me anymore. Sometimes this transition happens quickly, sometimes slowly. Sometimes clients come back to me down the road when they need that extra boost in their life. This is normal and I’m always excited to work together with them again. In my opinion, this is the optimal coach/client relationship. To lead them to believe otherwise would be a huge disservice.
Unfortunately, many professionals lead them into dependency, not empowerment. I think there are two common reasons many people in perceived ‘expert’ or ‘hero’ positions such as doctors, mentors, coaches, and bosses keep clients relying too heavily on them for so long, and another reason that is quite common, yet highly undetected. The first two reasons are 1) it feeds their ego and 2) money. The other reason is this: The professional doesn’t actually believe that the client has the capability and necessary strength it takes to accomplish things on their own. I believe this thinking is so insidious that often the ‘expert’ isn’t aware of this belief.
That being said, it’s to this type thinking I say, “BullS*%#!” Please don’t misinterpret: of course it’s wise to consult and be potentially treated by a doctor with medical issues and symptoms they are highly experienced and trained to deal with, and similarly in seeking assistance with other highly trained professionals.
Interestingly enough, in my own experiences working with clients I frequently feel as though they have taught me so much more than I could have possibly taught them. They are the hero of their own life. I whole-heartedly believe this. And I’m continuously uplifted and encouraged when I hear or think back to success stories of people I’ve worked with and the gifts they shared with me during our time together. Ultimately, I view my coaching as ‘teaming together’ with a client to effectively bring out the hero that was in them all along. We all have amazing qualities and strengths itching to be shared with the world. To quote Mastin Kipp, accomplished author and founder of TheDailyLove, “Every hero needs a real-life, in-person mentor.”
Sometimes it just takes that mentor or person to see your inner-greatness before you see it yourself. Someone to spark the fire that’s already within you; and adding fuel as needed.
Let this year be the year YOU play the hero of your own story. Not Oprah, or anybody else.