The Move - by River (My dog)
Where the F*ck are the rabbits? What happened? Why are we here? I don’t understand? The other day I got picked up for doggy daycare and then the craziest, messed up thing happened. The doggy daycare lady took me somewhere I had never been. She had to carry me through the front door because the man told her I wasn’t allowed to walk? What? Wait. I just don’t get it. Why am I not allowed to walk? So we get in the elevator and I’ve been in one before but this one takes a lot longer and everything smells different and I just don’t get it. Angie, the daycare lady, knocks on a door and then WTF? There’s my Mom like nothing happened. I lick here face and run around to smell everything. Some things smell right but other things don’t smell right. I see some of my toys and Mom gives me some peanut butter.
My Mom’s friend, Chris, comes over and I know him because he took care of me when Mom travelled last week. They take me for a walk but there’s no grass just cement. Where am I supposed to poop? Ahhhh, finally some little speck of grass. I do my business and we go back home. I’m really confused. Mom seems really busy unpacking and I’m just wandering around and then I realize there is this big huge window and I can see a bunch of stuff. Mom sees me looking out and then she opens the doors and I walk out and there are bars so I can’t walk out too far, only my head. It’s weird. I am outside but I’m kind not because I can’t get anywhere. Mom let’s me back in and I’m so confused I just go lay down on the couch, a little while later she joins me and then we go to bed. I know this bed and I am comforted by the way my Mom holds me.
The next day we went to this park. I don’t know this park? Where are the f*cking rabbits. This is not the park I know. There are all these dogs hanging out with each other and that’s all fine and good but I want to find something to kill. What? Wait a minute. My Mom is not holding my leash. I run and run and run. I hear here calling me but I don’t care. “River”, “River”, “River”…I don’t give a rabbit’s ass. She can call all she wants. Give me a duck, anything. She finally catches me and she’s holding the leash again. We go back to that strange place and I go to my new favorite spot besides the balcony it’s the closet. It’s dark in there and everything smells familiar.
We went for another walk today was so cool, I found a partially eaten bagel with cream cheese. SCORE until my Mom ripped it out of my mouth and threw too far for me to get it. We went into some store and they had moving stairs. I was scared. They were moving up and I wanted to run back down but Mom wouldn’t let me. When we were back outside, I found all these yummy chicken wing bones but Mom kept yanking them out of my mouth.
So we are back at this strange place again. Maybe we are going to stay here. Maybe if I go to sleep for a bit and dream about chicken bones, bagels and cream cheese and rabbits when I wake up, things will be back to normal.