Thursday Thoughts: "We Have Our Hats"
Growing up in a family that owned and ran a few small women's clothing stores in the 1950s and '60s, I often wondered why I didn't like shopping too much. I didn't mind it -- nice clothes were and are fun to have -- but I never embraced the "we're going shopping!!!" excitement that gripped so many of my friends.I know my mom adored shopping, especially in "our" stores. She could spend all day there, both enjoying the nice things she could buy and the fact that she was the owner's wife. I used to hang back, not entirely comfortable with the attention she received or the endless dresses she wanted me to try on when I got old enough. (Most of my girlfriends thought I was nuts.)聽
Maybe it's due to my dislike of the attention my mom got in those days.
Maybe it's because I'm an adopted kid and just not the same as she was and still is.
Maybe it's just how I'm wired.
Whatever the reason, I know that I felt a kinship with a quote I saw years ago, supposedly about how a 19th century Boston Brahmin answered a question about where Boston women bought their hats:
We don't buy our hats. We have our hats.
As I've gotten older, I've embraced the idea I see in those words. I've seen perfectly good things tossed out -- furniture, clothing, food -- and wondered why.聽
Why are so many old things of no value?聽
Is it the Shiny New Object Syndrome?聽
Is it the attention something new will get from others, even if not from me?聽
Does something new always mean something better?聽
Is bigger really better?
Don't get me wrong: I'm happy to have something new if it fulfills a need, not just a want (double points if it's both a need AND a want). I'm perfectly fine spending money on something that will give me long-lasting happiness, not just something trendy that will inevitably be replaced in many minds by the Next Big Thing.聽
I now live in a really small 525 s.f. cottage (about 49 square meters) by a beautiful bay on Cape Cod in Massachusetts, USA. The water and sky are never exactly the same day to day, but they're always gorgeous. They speak and sing to me. Sometimes they're even soothing.聽
My little house is about 1/5th the average size of homes here in the U.S., but the happy factor is about 10 times more, at least for me and many others who call this small village home.
It's a simple place and easy to clean. Basically one big room with high ceilings, so it feels bigger than it is. A joy to live in.
I now "have" my things. The pictures / clothes / pots & pans / dishes / whatevers that made it to this house are what I have. I don't feel any need to trade 99% of them in for something new. They're my comfort things; goods that have served me well for up to 40 years (my glider), and certainly for 10 or 15 years. They fit me. They work well. Why not keep them?聽
And here are three pictures that pretty much sum up why I love living here.
Top left: View from my enclosed back sun porch. 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 Right: Amazing sunset over the bay.
Bottom left: A foggy dayOf course there are things I need to buy. But there are so many other things I need to appreciate. I am determined to enjoy and appreciate all the lovely things and people in my life.聽
Do you have YOUR hats?聽Have you also found value in older things, comfortable things, smaller things? Or are you younger and more in a growth mode? I would love to know!
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Comments
Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess
7 years ago #9
I think many of us are becoming stores' worst nightmares, @Deb Helfrich! We buy much less than we did because of many of the things you wrote about. And for me, in my tiny house, luckily there's NO place to put anything. If I want something new, something old has to go. And I really do love the things I chose to surround myself with here. Thanks for all your continued support. It means a lot to me.
Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess
7 years ago #8
Thanks, Aaron Skogen! I'm glad you and others can relate. And I had a set of cookware much like yours, but it was heavy and many years ago I gave it away. Sigh. You can't know what don't know until you do. Yes, the view is amazing and so far, after four years (only two as a full-time resident) it hasn't gotten old. I hope it never does! This village was started in the '30s by a woman who owned all 27 acres right on the bay (just think of that!), and she allowed friends to pitch tents when they had nowhere to live. Those tents morphed into rudimentary cabins (no heat or running water), and those cabins morphed into nice cottages, almost none of them more than about 700 s.f. I meant this to be a summer place, but I fell in love with the location and decided that I couldn't afford two places anyway, so I might as well make a leap of faith and just live here. Sure glad I did! And good for you and your family to figure some of this out while you're young -- the forties are young, at least from my vantage point -- and focus on what's really important.
John Rylance
7 years ago #7
Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess
7 years ago #6
I think for many of us it is about getting older and seeing what has given us pleasure all these years, Franci! Who needs to worry about stuff? The things I brought from my 2,500 s.f. house to my interim 1500 s.f. condo to here are the things that I love living with. Yeah, a couple/three things are in the basement because I can't quite decide to let them go . . . but all in all, simple works just fine! Good to know you and your husband are seeing this, too.
Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess
7 years ago #5
Thanks for that, Julie! I agree. As the MasterCard commercial says, "Priceless." And when I walk around the village, as I do every day it's not pouring, with my dogs, I drink in the views everywhere.
Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess
7 years ago #4
Hah, Ken Boddie! Many of my friends are still amused at my reluctance to go to the mall unless I need something. I will admit, though, that a good furniture and/or decorating store will catch my attention, but there aren't that many around. My new best friend here in the village loves Walmart all out of proportion to what it is, and she and I laugh at her excitement every time she goes there! And she spends an hour or more, just going up and down the ailes to see what she can buy. I just don't get it, but she is a lovely woman anyway.
Ken Boddie
7 years ago #3
Susan 馃悵 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess
7 years ago #2
Kevin Pashuk
7 years ago #1