The Best Gift
What do you wish for when you give a gift to your child? Do you want them to explode with delight when they open the paper? Do you want to see them at their happiest moment? Do you want to be able to fulfill your child's intense longing for something they really, really want?
What do YOU GET out of giving such a thing? It behooves us as parents to separate our own desires from those of our children, and importantly, to distinguish between 'needs' and 'wants'. One thing your child truly needs is to build the capacity to feel fulfilled from within, as opposed to depending on a string of experiences or objects that create a feeling of temporary happiness. True fulfillment is only possible as a result of strong attachments to her parents, and from real accomplishment that propels development. This is very, very different from learning to soothe feelings of emptiness or incompleteness with external things or stimulation.
Holidays and birthday parties can become wound-up orgies of excitement, orchestrated by us as parents to push all the buttons that will make us, in turn, feel like such winners! If anything, our true obligation to our kids is to guide their development so that they don't grow up expecting a bigger, more impressive and surprising circus with every celebration.
It might surprise you to know that the thing your child really wants more than anything is more moments of your complete attention. You can give this in endless ways and unlimited amounts - there is no danger of spoiling a child with your attention. Read more...http://tracypoizner.com/the-real-gi...