What happens when a Christian enters a Shabbat service? Tears!
I was thinking which pants to put on: the dark leather one or that black one that isnât so tight on my body. I went with the second one.
It was a chilly Spring evening as I walked through Central Park, up until 68th Street. Turned left, walked a few more steps and as I saw the building I stopped before entering. I had too many feelings messing with me. Suddenly the security guy told me: âShabbat Shalom,â opened the door, ushered me in and there I stood: a Christian in a synagogue entering her first Jewish service.Â
Originally published on The Times of IsraelÂ
At the entrance, there was a man and a woman welcoming everyone and handing a Bible to all. I automatically stepped towards the woman. Not sure why I did that. Maybe because I often have no idea what level of Jewishness I am entering to when I meet Jews. It really is an issue.
She looks at me, smiles and hands me a Bible. I wasnât sure what to do. Frankly, my first unconscious thought was âthis is not my Bible; I donât know what to do with yours.â Â So I quickly told her: âWell, look, I am not Jewish, Iâm here as a Christian who is on a journey.â And boy, that felt awkward. I felt more confident on my first dates than entering this Shabbat service.
âWelcome!â She was smiling even more by now. Then she directed me towards the chairs and explained that I could sit ANYWHERE I want. âExcept on my chair, my dear, donât sit on my place there.â
OK, I thought, she is really cool, Iâm safe.
The service had already started as I entered and I wasnât sure how this whole thing was going to make me feel, so I sat in the last row. It also gave me a good view of the synagogue, and I wanted to look around and observe.
And to observe I wasnât shy of.
As I sat down, the first thing I did was to open my phone andâŠand then it hit me: âyou idiot, youâre at a Shabbat service.â  I looked around rather embarrassed, but I concluded that nobody saw it. I felt relieved. And then the lady from the entrance appeared from nowhere handing me another Bible that she opened for me somewhere in the middle: âHere, this the song now. You can see it in Hebrew, then in phonetic and then here, in English. Enjoy.â With that, she left and I then realized, she did see me touching my phone.
I finally found my place and looked at the Bible, then looked up and saw that there is a whole band and it suddenly seemed that I was at a Klezmer band concert, not a religious service. I looked down to the Bible again, and there, I had my first epiphany: âAh, this is what it means when they tell me âI speak only âService Hebrewâ.'â You know, I never understood when Jews told me they didnât speak Hebrew just service Hebrew. I was like how is that even possible? Tonight, I understood and tonight I was fluent in (Service) Hebrew for a full hour.
The cantors (who lead people in singing,) had such beautiful voices that I sat there mesmerized. In Christian services, we would have a person accompanying the songs on a piano, but apart from a Gospel service in Harlem, I didnât think services can be actually joyful and not sorrowful. Meanwhile, people were walking around, welcoming each other, and singing. And I was trying to sing too, and I can only imagine how bad I actually sounded. While they were reciting the Hebrew songs, I quickly read the English translations and it didnât feel strange. I felt quite OK and I thought to myself:  âIâve never felt such a comfort in any Christian service.â As I write this down, it hurts a little. But then again, why would I lie to you? Or to myself?
I was a regular church-goer until I turned 15 when I stopped going. My grandfather was the priest, and I always felt that all eyes were on my brother and me whenever we were at the church. I was observed how I sat, how I prayed, what I wore. I was questioned why I am not attending Sunday schools; I was humiliated at the Bible class because I could not prepare enough as I was doing ballet professionally. So I decided, I didnât need church for me to have a conversation with God. I stopped going to church services but I never stopped believing, and whenever I needed a moment of silence, I would enter any church that had an open door.
Here, as a complete stranger both in town and in the community, I was free. I didnât need to satisfy anyone.
And then the rabbi arrived. The rabbi was a she. My thoughts took over again; I donât recall attending any service with a woman priest. She was really casual as she was talking about the injustice in our lives and the Torah. She was great, and I liked how she talked to us as if we would be friends not sitting somewhere âbelowâ her. I remember my church visits as a kid; I always felt it was a theater with hierarchical stands and pitches and grandiose arm movements, and I often needed my father to translate what the talk was really about.
So again, I liked this rabbi.
In the midst of it all, I saw a girl, checking her phone. And not only was she checking her phone, but she was also wearing a mini skirt without tights. And when I say mini, imagine MINI. I wasnât sure what to do with this picture. Then I turned to the left, and I saw that guy reading something on his phone. I really wanted to tell them, you know guys, we are at a Shabbat service â but of course, I didnât.
The rabbi left, and frankly, I missed her punch line. I was too occupied with these weird acts and mobile phones during Shabbat that I actually missed the rabbiâs point about the injustice. I really wasnât proud of myself at this point.
A new song started, and I was so clumsy that I actually opened the Bible upside down and backward. Never mind. I asked my neighbor where we were: âPage 248.â â She said. I go to page 248, but it was clear that we werenât singing the song I found there. She came to my rescue and said âthe other page 248â. If I was even following something until now, I lost it all at this point. What to make of two 248 pages in one book? Later, after the service, I learned that it was one for the Hebrew and one for the English counting. Yeah, not confusing at all.
Then I saw the first woman in a yarmulke. Learned about it, but never saw one before. And then I saw the first man without it.
The rabbi told us to rise. So we all rose. This we do in the church as well, but only if you sit on the ground floor, if you sit on the elevated floors, you donât stand up. And as my family was always up there, I was rather jealous of those sitting down as I felt they had some special role that they needed to rise.
We started to sing a new song. It was beautiful. I got goosebumps all over my body. Then suddenly people took a 180-degree turn, and from the last row, I became the first and 80 people were looking at me eye to eye. So seeing that this is no game here, I followed the wave diligently, and I turned, now starring at the wall. I assume we turned towards Jerusalem. Correct me if Iâm wrong.
The service continued with a prayer to the sick; the rabbi read the names we pray for in the community. Then we prayed for the recently deceased ones. And while due to the page issue, I didnât find any of the prayers, there was something comforting in the community litany. To tell the truth, Christians do this too.
Before the service ended, we had one more song for a great Shabbat: âUnwind for 25 hours, and welcome Shabbat with love.â â said the rabbi.
And man, that last song broke me down. I saw that old couple holding hands, that mother caressing her son, and I donâtâ know why but tears started to flow on my face. I didnât only weep, but I really cried. I cried, and I couldnât care if anyone even sees me. I cried not knowing the why.
I put back the Bible to its place and left the room with everyone else. The same woman who welcomed me now handed me a little plastic glass with a red juice in it. I tried to ask her what this was for, but she was passing by too quickly. There was a short prayer outside of the service room, and then everyone shouted Shabbat Shalom and drank up the liquid. It wasnât wine, as it would be for a Christian service, and I still donât know what it meant, but that was the end of my first Jewish Shabbat service.
Then the woman appeared again: âDid you like it?âÂ
âI loved it.âÂ
She didnât answer, and I was wondering again if it was appropriate to say this at all.
Then a guy stepped to me and asked: âAre you new here? You looked a little lost.â
All I could say was: âYou have no idea⊠Iâm a Christian.â
âOh, welcome, it doesnât matter. Hope to see you soon.â
Articles from Viragđ G.
View blogI asked my mom what kind of kid I was. She said, I always had an opinion, I went to talk to stranger ...
80 kg of stuff. Itâs me twice. OK, a little less, but my body without my head twice. 80kg. · Four ho ...
___Happy Belated Birthday, Israel đźđ± · 69 reasons why I love you & support you___ · 1. Because visi ...
You may be interested in these jobs
-
RN - Neurology (Clinic)
Found in: CareerWallet US C2 - 2 days ago
CARLE Hoopeston, United StatesThe Ambulatory Nurse utilizes a systematic approach to nursing by incorporating assessment, planning, implementation and evaluation in the practice of nursing. Provides healthcare to individuals, families, and communities within the RN scope of practice as defined by the Illinois ...
-
Postdoctoral Position in Iranian Linguistics
Found in: Talent US A C2 - 1 week ago
InsideHigherEd Montebello, United States· Postdoctoral Position in Iranian Linguistics · University of California Los Angeles · Requisition Number: JPF09225 · Applications are invited for the Elahe Omidyar Mir-Djalali Postdoctoral Fellowship in Iranian Linguistics in the Department of Linguistics at UCLA. The fellowsh ...
-
Part-Time Licensed Vocational Nurse
Found in: Lensa US P 2 C2 - 7 hours ago
Quantum Pain and Orthopedic Austin, United States Part timeQuantum Pain and Orthopedics is a premier outpatient clinical network serving the San Antonio and Austin, TX areas. Our specialty is combining high quality healthcare with compassion and excellence. QPO strives to create a team that highlights our culture of diversity, ethics, an ...
Comments
Viragđ G.
6 years ago #1
thank you so much for reading my post and for your kind comment. I'm not believing in coincidences either. And I am just about to look up your post about the Muslim service.