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PD Scullin 2 d ago · 1 min read

GAETZ OFFERS FEMALE STUDENTS HELP WITH THEIR GEOMETRY HOMEWORK

Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz is a familiar presence on conservative TV networks, and with his recent acts of Christian kindness, he’s sure to become even more popular. Today the Republican Congressman told The Lint Screen he plans to reach out and help the y…

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PD Scullin 5 d ago · 1 min read

“TITHE FOR TRUMP” PROGRAM IS INTRODUCED FOR MAGA PATRIOTS

Donald J. Trump claims Joe Biden stole his presidency . “It was disgraceful,” the reviled twice-impeached ex-president told The Lint Screen . “I had the biggest election victory in history– winning all 50 states and getting over 800 million votes . But B…

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PD Scullin 6 d ago · 1 min read

GA GOV. KEMP ANNOUNCES PLAN FOR VOTERS TO ENJOY WATER ON ELECTION DAY

Everyone knows it can get pretty hot in the state of Georgia , so its Governor Brian Kemp has created what he calls “a brilliant solution” to refreshing voters on Election Day. “I took a lot of flak when I signed Georgia’s new voting laws,” Kemp told The …

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PD Scullin Apr 1, 2021 · 1 min read

Biden to have Major negotiate with Republicans on infrastructure

Donald Trump was not a pet person, but Joe Biden is, and the president has decided to put his pet German Shepherd "Major" do his negotiating with Republican Senators on Biden's infrastructure plan. "I want this to be a bipartisan bill," Biden told The…

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PD Scullin Mar 31, 2021 · 2 min read

TRUMP CRASHES GIRL’S BIRTHDAY PARTY, WHINES ABOUT HIS ELECTION LOSS

You’d think a little girl would be excited to have an ex-president attend her birthday party, but that wasn’t the case for spoiled brat Melissa Amberton of Palm Beach, Florida. Yesterday was Melissa’s second birthday, and her parents were hosting a party…

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PD Scullin Mar 28, 2021 · 1 min read

GOP FORMS THOUGHTS & PRAYERS COMMITTEE TO ELIMINATE MASS SHOOTINGS

The Republican Party has taken decisive action to curb gun violence following the recent mass shootings in Atlanta and Boulder. “ The Democrats hate God and want to take away everyone’s guns,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell . “That…

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PD Scullin Mar 26, 2021 · 2 min read

TRUMP: “BIDEN IS A TOTAL DISASTER, HE’S UNFIT FOR OFFICE”

Although he’s left the national stage, disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald Trump is not keeping his big yap shut. He summoned The Lint Screen to his luxurious lair at Mar-A-Lago to give his take on Biden’s presidency so far. “I’m not impress…

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PD Scullin Mar 19, 2021 · 1 min read

ROY SAYS “MINORITIES NEED TO TOUGHEN UP LIKE WHITE PEOPLE”

Texas Republican Rep. Chip Roy was the subject of controversy when he made statements about frontier justice in reaction to a Congressional hearing addressing discrimination against Asian Americans. “I was just talking about how we did things in the g…

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