I, You, We, and Me
I went to physical therapy yesterday. I met Shira, a very competent professional. As we were working on my hands, I began to recount my experiences as a child, and she said, âI donât want to hear it.â
I told her five children die every day from parental abuse and that was the particular brick wall I was up against. I recount my experiences to accentuate the plight of children today, and you donât want to hear about itâthere is no we. We could do something to alleviate the plight of children today, but as long as we remain you and I, nothing will get done. We are a force.
I stopped for breakfast at a local diner after PT. My waitress was Liza. I told her I was a blogger and I was thinking of doing a blurb on I, You, We. She brightened as she immediately grasped my drift. I donât remember her exact words, but the gist of it was that she tried to make suggestions to administration minions regarding positive changes for issues regarding her tin can (Her term of endearment for her place of employment.) She became afraid.
âI love this tin can, â she said.
She was speaking of the diner I was sitting in, which was run by a local college.
âIâm afraid of losing it.â
She becomes the I proposing changes; minions at the college donât want to hear itâthe collective you; we does not exist for Liza. If you promote risk, it's a problem.
Robert Cormackâs post Why Ideas Die In the Boardroom keeps invading my mind. Its appeal is relentless. He writes:
âA few years back, one âinnovation group,â wrote that companies should include âblack sheepâ in their meetings. âThese people will force new ideas and inject creativity,â they said. Some companies did just that, regretting it afterward. The âgroupiesâ as I like to call them, didnât like âblack sheepâ or new ideas and voiced their concerns to management. The âblack sheepâ were fired, and the groupies went back to âconsensus building.ââ
You can read the whole post here: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@robert-cormack/why-ideas-die-in-the-boardroom I suggest you do.
I suspect Liza and I are those black sheep. We are somewhat expert on our topics. I can spout you the facts and figures on child abuse and deaths, and Liza knows well the inner workings of her tin can.
But I rail against my suspicion in that only a certain bottom line is considered, and I believe that to be monetary. It would cost money to cut down the number of child deaths.
Liza knows of issues that should be changed regarding her beloved tin can. I donât know the details, but I suspect her ideas would involve investment.
I think groupthink looks at the immediate bottom line, whereas the Black Sheep look at change as an investment. My oldest son surely was looked at as a throwaway. But with investment, he became an asset.
Groupthinkâthe collective youâpromotes the bottom line. There are parameters set as to how far they will go. They promote norms for the unthinkable. There are sacrifices to be made for these norms. Some of those sacrifices are human beings.
Are we any different than those cultures that actively sacrificed victims to their Gods? We wear business suits and attire and say this makes us different. Is not withholding investment the same as plunging in the knife or throwing someone into a volcano? Or is it the lack of proximity to the result that soothes us into saying say it ainât so.
In Lizaâs case, it was apparent she feared the demise of her diner. Not a bloody human death, but a death all the same. I could see she wants to scream for the changes she knows should be made, but I could also see she fears for her job if she does so. So she sacrifices the future to maintain her todays. She fears becoming a sacrifice.
When did we start sacrificing WE?  The answer is always. Human Beings are pack animals regardless of the clothes in which we adorn ourselves. Alpha bitches and dogs destroy the young of lessers to promote their own young. WE are no different. Dissenters are outcastsâdoomed to either capitulate or roam alone.
I say we slash the pronouns I, you, and me. Letâs live in a world of an inclusive WE and fuck the monetary bottom line. Letâs evolve beyond being pack animals and strive for the betterment of all rather than the chosen few. Letâs learn to think for ourselves instead of acting like cows being driven to the trough. Letâs not lose ourselves to the slaughterhouse of ideas and societal innovation. WE can get better.
Copyright 2017 Joyce Bowen
https://www.bebee.com/@joyce-bowen
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyce-bowen/
https://twitter.com/crwriter1
https://joycebowen.wordpress.com/author/joycebowen/
https://medium.com/@joycebowen
About the Author: Â Joyce Bowen is a freelance writer and public speaker. Â Inquiries can be made at crwriter@comcast.net
Sobre el autor: Joyce Bowen es un escritor independiente y orador pĂșblico. Las consultas pueden hacerse en crwriter@comcast.net
""
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Comments
Lisa Gallagher
7 years ago #31
Cyndi wilkins
7 years ago #30
Cyndi wilkins
7 years ago #29
Oh...Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange is very busy making honey of her own...But rest assured, she always has an eye on the hives;-)
Lisa Vanderburg
7 years ago #28
Part 2: CityVP đ Manjit so rightly says, this is a Pandora's box which has grown so toxic, to open it becomes harder and harder (thank you CityVP is I was the Lisa you mentioned)! 'You were shut down by a 'professional.' That indicates fear....it's paralysing.' Cyndi wilkins says; damn true!! So many great thoughts... Everyone has made such thoughtful comments Joyce đ Bowen - possibly the most successful way to start a process of change? Brave woman! Where's Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange...?
Lisa Vanderburg
7 years ago #27
Part 1: Wow...I'm humbled Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen explores the idea of prevention-at-source byring or testing potential parents. I think the 'resistance' you feel Deb is maybe introducing would-be parents the concept of fearful anticipation (which threatens natural bonding), where in natural settings, it would be joy? Dunno, but it'ng I haven't thor; perhaps like driving classes at high school, a mandatory class on just hto ruin a perfectly good child, but without the fatality pics?
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #26
Naaaw--she explained that she had a 7-month-old and did not want to even think things could happen to someone that young. She said he was her buddy. I understand.
CityVP Manjit
7 years ago #25
Here I am in the company of great courageous people, and so Lisa and Joyce, the power of just you two alone means one plus one equals eleven.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #24
Lisa Vanderburg I hear you back. Both my parents were psychopaths. People don't understand what psychopath means unless you say, "Jeffrey Dahmer," or "Ted Bundy." People don't understand that psychopaths have children and they are often their littlest victims. I feel for you, and understand that need for connection that is so lost when seeking it from such a parent. I followed through to my degree in psychology before I understood. I think psychopaths should be sterilized, but that's just me.
Lisa Vanderburg
7 years ago #23
Cyndi wilkins
7 years ago #22
I'm very sorry to hear that...especially for a therapist that is supposed to understand such a debilitating condition as MS...but I will leave it to you to decide who best suits your needs;-) I'd love to meet for whatever is convenient for you...Give me a shout when it works for you and I will make it work for me;-) I will PM you with my email;-)
Ken Boddie
7 years ago #21
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #20
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #19
Actually, I only let myself be mad for a split second. I put her in a small cage only to allow me to move Sarah, at which point she had only killed 2; but she was so smart, she got out and killed a third pup. I immediately chalked her actions up to Nature, and vowed not to hold her accountable. And I didn't.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #18
It was that diner, Cyndi! I'd be pleased to meet for lunch or dinner. The therapist has a very good mind and understands MS. I've seen her reaction before in others.
Helena Jansen van Vuuren
7 years ago #17
Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich love your responses....can talk a hindleg off a donkey but writing is not my forte....often read and have a gut feel for a response but not the tools or is it word tools....
Cyndi wilkins
7 years ago #16
đ Fatima G. Williams
7 years ago #15
CityVP Manjit
7 years ago #14
Child abuse is an awful pandora's box and if we are too overwhelmed in opening it, it ironically keeps it that much more closed - but remember where much of this abuse originates is systemic and we are not free of that industrial cage - and we are not free from the selling of a pap and docile existence, and when I see the children in the documentary "Cries from Syria" - this pandora's box begins to open - and all of this overwhelms, and I have not even touched on the data and facts that people never see or worse, at least marginally think about. At least we hearing voices like yours and your fighting spirit to make a difference in this hidden pit of sorrows and hurt.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #13
I'm an old dog, and every year I torture myself with Child Maltreatment reports, sometimes trying to lay out data in a shorter form. 2015's is here. https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm2015.pdf. It takes a long time to load. Note that it took them 2 years to produce it. The stats are frightening, and states can choose to not submit data.
CityVP Manjit
7 years ago #12
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #11
I extrapolated information I gleaned from my experience with my own dogs on to wolves and wrongly assumed their behavior would be the same. I bred Lhasa Apsos and loved all them dearly. I had 2 bitches give birth at once and one, who I assumed was dominent., worked insanely hard to destroy the more submissive girl's litter. She was successful in killing 3 pups, because Sarah would not defend her litter. Ironically, the remaining pups had to be hand-reared because Mom's milk was bad. One did die from her milk. Thumper's (the killer) pups all thrived.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #10
I stand corrected and enlightened.
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #9
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #8
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #7
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #6
Joyce đ Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
7 years ago #5
Devesh đ Bhatt
7 years ago #4
and i we give space to the i, we have a better chance of being we :) You trigger some good thoughts. Thanks
Pascal Derrien
7 years ago #3
Joel Anderson
7 years ago #2
Devesh đ Bhatt
7 years ago #1