Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee in Stash, Lifestyle, Communications and journalism Public Speaker • RAINN Mar 23, 2017 · 2 min read · 3.5K

I, You, We, and Me

I, You, We, and Me

I went to physical therapy yesterday. I met Shira, a very competent professional. As we were working on my hands, I began to recount my experiences as a child, and she said, “I don’t want to hear it.”

I told her five children die every day from parental abuse and that was the particular brick wall I was up against. I recount my experiences to accentuate the plight of children today, and you don’t want to hear about it—there is no we. We could do something to alleviate the plight of children today, but as long as we remain you and I, nothing will get done. We are a force.

I stopped for breakfast at a local diner after PT. My waitress was Liza. I told her I was a blogger and I was thinking of doing a blurb on I, You, We. She brightened as she immediately grasped my drift. I don’t remember her exact words, but the gist of it was that she tried to make suggestions to administration minions regarding positive changes for issues regarding her tin can (Her term of endearment for her place of employment.) She became afraid.

“I love this tin can, “ she said.

She was speaking of the diner I was sitting in, which was run by a local college.

“I’m afraid of losing it.”

She becomes the I proposing changes; minions at the college don’t want to hear it—the collective you; we does not exist for Liza. If you promote risk, it's a problem.

Robert Cormack’s post Why Ideas Die In the Boardroom keeps invading my mind. Its appeal is relentless. He writes:

“A few years back, one “innovation group,” wrote that companies should include “black sheep” in their meetings. “These people will force new ideas and inject creativity,” they said. Some companies did just that, regretting it afterward. The “groupies” as I like to call them, didn’t like “black sheep” or new ideas and voiced their concerns to management. The “black sheep” were fired, and the groupies went back to “consensus building.””

You can read the whole post here: I suggest you do.

I suspect Liza and I are those black sheep. We are somewhat expert on our topics. I can spout you the facts and figures on child abuse and deaths, and Liza knows well the inner workings of her tin can.

But I rail against my suspicion in that only a certain bottom line is considered, and I believe that to be monetary. It would cost money to cut down the number of child deaths.

Liza knows of issues that should be changed regarding her beloved tin can. I don’t know the details, but I suspect her ideas would involve investment.

I think groupthink looks at the immediate bottom line, whereas the Black Sheep look at change as an investment. My oldest son surely was looked at as a throwaway. But with investment, he became an asset.

Groupthink—the collective you—promotes the bottom line. There are parameters set as to how far they will go. They promote norms for the unthinkable. There are sacrifices to be made for these norms. Some of those sacrifices are human beings.

Are we any different than those cultures that actively sacrificed victims to their Gods? We wear business suits and attire and say this makes us different. Is not withholding investment the same as plunging in the knife or throwing someone into a volcano? Or is it the lack of proximity to the result that soothes us into saying say it ain’t so.

In Liza’s case, it was apparent she feared the demise of her diner. Not a bloody human death, but a death all the same. I could see she wants to scream for the changes she knows should be made, but I could also see she fears for her job if she does so. So she sacrifices the future to maintain her todays. She fears becoming a sacrifice.

When did we start sacrificing WE?  The answer is always. Human Beings are pack animals regardless of the clothes in which we adorn ourselves. Alpha bitches and dogs destroy the young of lessers to promote their own young. WE are no different. Dissenters are outcasts—doomed to either capitulate or roam alone.

I say we slash the pronouns I, you, and me. Let’s live in a world of an inclusive WE and fuck the monetary bottom line. Let’s evolve beyond being pack animals and strive for the betterment of all rather than the chosen few. Let’s learn to think for ourselves instead of acting like cows being driven to the trough. Let’s not lose ourselves to the slaughterhouse of ideas and societal innovation. WE can get better.

Copyright 2017 Joyce Bowen

About the Author:  Joyce Bowen is a freelance writer and public speaker.  Inquiries can be made at

Sobre el autor: Joyce Bowen es un escritor independiente orador público. Las consultas pueden hacerse en

Lisa Gallagher Mar 27, 2017 · #40

This is a strong statement, "but as long as we remain you and I, nothing will get done. We are a force." I couldn't agree more! You made a great point about groupthink and it's dangerous as well. I hope one day humanity become more of a "We" based society instead of, "I."

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Cyndi wilkins Mar 25, 2017 · #39

@Joyce 🐝 Bowen delivers the line of the century;-)

"Let’s live in a world of an inclusive WE and fuck the monetary bottom line!"

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Cyndi wilkins Mar 25, 2017 · #38

#37 Oh...@Deb🐝 Lange is very busy making honey of her own...But rest assured, she always has an eye on the hives;-)

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Lisa Vanderburg Mar 25, 2017 · #37

#30 Part 2: CityVP 🐝 Manjit so rightly says, this is a Pandora's box which has grown so toxic, to open it becomes harder and harder (thank you CityVP is I was the Lisa you mentioned)! 'You were shut down by a 'professional.' That indicates's paralysing.' @Cyndi wilkins says; damn true!! So many great thoughts...
Everyone has made such thoughtful comments Joyce 🐝 Bowen - possibly the most successful way to start a process of change? Brave woman!
Where's @Deb🐝 Lange...?

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Lisa Vanderburg Mar 25, 2017 · #36

#30 Part 1: Wow...I'm humbled @Joyce 🐝 Bowen! I was checking in today to apologise for making your buzz about ME, yet you treat me to compassionate understanding - thank you! This can of worms you've had the courage to open so clearly needs airing before it can be destroyed; @Deb 🐝 Helfrich explores the idea of prevention-at-source byring or testing potential parents. I think the 'resistance' you feel Deb is maybe introducing would-be parents the concept of fearful anticipation (which threatens natural bonding), where in natural settings, it would be joy? Dunno, but it'ng I haven't thor; perhaps like driving classes at high school, a mandatory class on just hto ruin a perfectly good child, but without the fatality pics?

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#34 Naaaw--she explained that she had a 7-month-old and did not want to even think things could happen to someone that young. She said he was her buddy. I understand.

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Aaron 🐝 Skogen Mar 24, 2017 · #34

Wow! Bravo @Joyce 🐝 Bowen. Courageous, raw and unrelenting. My first thought was "find a new therapist", then I thought "no, don't conform, continue to chip away at the wall and bring it down". I, You, We and Me must continue to drive awareness, we need the black sheep of non-conformance. Looking back at history and the major social shifts in history, I ask was Rosa Parks a conformist, was Dr. King, or how about President Lincoln? None. Keep the faith. . . and maybe, find a new therapist :-).

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Deb Helfrich Mar 24, 2017 · #33

#29 #30 Another question - why do we need licenses to marry, adopt a dog, to fish, but not raise children?

I don't quite think the punitive approach would effect lasting change, but why is it each parent for themselves - just do your best?

We have competency exams for all sorts of things, but not the single most crucial and complex and difficult task most humans are going to undertake - raising children.

I can feel the resistance to this sort of intervention, but why?

What is so crazy about enacting laws to ensure parents know about nutrition, psychology, along with the social & physical requirements to thrive - the basic curriculum of growing a human based on current science?

Achievement to a certain percentage in order to get a license to procreate.

Something to ponder about a strategy We could begin to consider.

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