What to do with the children?
Reading Donna Wood's recent offering Guns / Mentality, she asks what's wrong with us rather than the the seemingly endless arsenal of weaponry a person can lay his hands on. It's a good question: What's wrong with US? Following that, I read Pascal Derrien's delightful journey of childhood Dawn on Wheels. I both felt soothed and a little envious at that!
With our first grandchild 18 months old, it'll be a different struggle for parents than we had; our kids were 8 & 9 when we had our first computer, and didn't have a cell until the end of high-school. Thank God, I think...
With the gobsmacking list of ever-growing apps and social media threatening to steal your child's attention, how do you keep them safe? Can you keep them safe? There's helpful 'guides' like this everywhere; tutoring parents on what's wholesome or not for your child.
The problem is how to say no, not at what do you say no, no? Dunno.....
Seems to me we're beginning to see the true evil of the internet and all it's minions. Kids (anything from 0 to 18...older if you're American) are curious. It is their nature, and it's how they learn the world. Like Pascal said in the very first paragraph of his buzz;
It was the same ritual everyday and I was welcoming the monotonous procedure with a feeling made of excitement, routine and bliss. I perhaps cannot find the right words but what I can say is that it was overwhelmingly more powerful and intense than anything else I had gone thru before. Its hard to describe the mindfulness state and enjoyment I was experiencing daily. I can remember clearly all my senses not being indifferent to the natural surroundings.Not only are our children under peer and adult pressure, but institutional pressure of academia (or is it the school's onus to get their quota?). Pascal Derrien, in comment to
Pascal Darrien
Donna's Gun/Mentality buzz, points at the US system of education, and he has very valid points!
But what of the pressure of parents? They don't let their kids go scampering 'round the countryside on adventures like Pascal did. They don't have the time. Middle-class parents (particularly American) - ya know, the one's that are meant to produce our next 'Presidents and Pioneers' have taken steps to orchestrate their kids' fun times with a heinous schedule of soft-ball to gymnastics to football etc. It's understandable how they got there - to keep kids safe from predators, but it's backfired IMHO; they've become imprisoned by our fear and now, by the wonts of social media. So we keep them busy instead...too busy. There's no time, between homework and the mandatory after-school run of fun, for the children to just be...kids.
We've all seen the soccer-Moms & Dads; the ones who will - often unknowingly - impose their own desires and ambitions on their kids. This coaching is not good; certainly not healthy. Now if you're teaching your kid fly-fishing, that's wonderful because you're spending quality time chatting, laughing, fishing, messing about, messin' up - that's the old normal.
For all the wonders of the World Wide Web, it's often a killer and a barren place for childhood. As adults, we've tried and failed to curtail or control this entity. If we say 'no', they'll just go to a friend. We know that. Good God, if I'd had Facebook as a child, you wouldn't be reading my rant! For kids, knowledge is best discovered, not handed out like treats and poison. So what are you going to do about childhood? Will it be lost? Love to hear your take.
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Comments
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
6 years ago #17
Thank you Lisa Vanderburg for the kind words :) I hope so :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #16
See, now; you would find a way - I have every faith! You are going to be the most wonderful and exotic of grandmothers, lovely ...store up your memories, add a little wonderful spice and let ferment for a couple of decades - you will be the best for your babies!!
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
6 years ago #15
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #14
Ever-helpful.
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #13
hahaha...clever man!!
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #12
Names are easy, pace, not so much. When all six are present i play out pretty quick. They are all great kids with two of them entering the age of infinite wisdom, teenagers. Luckily i have learned to use my phone with voice to text so i can gather around them and collect this vast wisdom.
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #11
I'm turning the big 6 this year; I reckon I have 10 years in which to make mischief with grandbabies. You's still a chicken :) Okay. on grand-parenting; I'm getting ready to leap tall fences to steal bananas, dig a hole to China, get that pesky beastie from under the bed and time-travel with the nippers. Any advise will be most appreciated...lol. Fargo & Donna Wood; I'm impressed at your internet providers!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #10
Thank you Harvey Lloyd for a-calling, I am grateful for any advise coming from you! You have identified the challenge very well; if children don't understand their choices, how are they to choose? With 6 grandkiddies, how on earth do you keep up with their names? :)
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #9
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #8
Okay. First Donna Wood, you cannot have an eleven-year old grandson - that would mean you started breeding at a now-illegal age :) But wow - nice childhood! Running free and seemingly wild - that's what it should be, no? 'Course it's not like that much anymore, yet with your children, a houseful of kids' friends means a 'safe and happy' place - kudos to you...you pulled it off! I think you're right: balance is what is needed in this topsy-turvy world. I wonder if it will be down to grandparents to provide that reality? That would bring us full-circle...yay! BTW, we had snow. In the UK. just a couple days last week. It was perfect, dry and with a nice 1/4-inch cap of ice. The country came to a standstill. England in winter..lol!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #7
So very true Jerry Fletcher; we have little control. Certainly for me, I felt that a child that knows his boundaries is a happy child. By that, they were free to explore in safety within those imaginary lines. But I also think they need space, even as babes, they need quiet time to learn to be themselves! Methods are subject to breaking down and I'm far from the perfect mother (my kids'll tell you that)! We want them to be as free as possible by encouraging quality of character over quantity of FB 'friends'. You've clearly succeeded with your daughter, and I think they have to leave to come back as yours did. Much appreciate your comments!
Jerry Fletcher
6 years ago #6
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #5
Sage advise Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier and I appreciate you coming in! There's many adults that don't have self-love but raise children better than they were, but maybe it was their determination that their kids would not suffer the same fate as they did. 'Children need to be taught to think for themselves and not to mindlessly follow crowds, rules and expectations (not even parental expectations).' Absolutely right; for them to fledge successfully, this must be achieved. Thanks for the shares too!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #4
Thank you Debasish Majumder - I don't know how young parents get 'round these thorny issues, but that just shows my age :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #3
Pascal Derrien
6 years ago #2
Debasish Majumder
6 years ago #1