Phil Friedman en Communications and journalism, beBee in English, English Writer/Editor - Marketer - Ghost Writer - Marine Industry Consultant • Port Royal Group 13/10/2016 · 5 min de lectura · 8,1K

With a Little Help for My Friends...

With a Little Help for My Friends...


I found out early on that the toughest comments came from those who cared most.

Michelle Williams in a comment to How Do You Really Build Engagement?  beBee vs beBee, No.3

My friend and fellow Beezer, Jim Murray, recently published a post, "A Brief And Kind Of Lopsided BeBee Conversation With Maria". In a comment to that piece, I disagreed with one of Jim's points.  And additionally raised a critical question concerning how beBee was calculating and tabulating "views".

As a result, I received two interesting private messages. One asked why I would, in the writer's words, "jump on Jim without first trying to resolve the issue in private."  The other asked why I felt "the need to be so critical of beBee."  That which follows here are the answers to those two questions, plus some other observations which I believe are relevant in this context and which may be beneficial to beBee going forward.

With a Little Help for My Friends...

Although I correspond almost daily with Jim Murray whom I consider one of the strongest marketing voices among beBee Brand Ambassadors, save for Chief Ambassador, John WhiteI posted my "critical" comment without first discussing it first with him in a PM because I specifically did not want to "resolve" the matter quietly and privately.

Instead, I felt it more beneficial all around to air the question spontaneously and openly. For I believe that open discussion is essential to positive growth, and the avoidance of self-delusion.

Being a user or member of a social media platform should not be approached as being on a sports team, or worse, as a sports "fan"...
Phil Friedman in If I Do Say So Myself

It is perfectly understandable that beBee ownership, management, and staff feel enthusiastically loyal to their endeavor. It is also understandable that appointed beBee Brand Ambassadors who have been additionally incentivized by a promise of contingent future compensation should consider themselves and act as (in the words of a couple of them) loyal "cheerleaders".

It is not, however, reasonable, or for that matter productive, to expect the rest of us to remain uniformly and unquestioningly supportive of everything about this new and exciting social media platform.

One of the things that initially attracted me to beBee was Javier Rica's and Juan Imaz's concept of Affinity Networking, bolstered by their commitment to making beBee a platform on which everyone was welcome and could build a niche for him- or herself. A platform on which writers could build and maintain their own readerships. And a platform where readers and users could gather into self-organizing groups for the purpose of interacting based on common interests.

What I've found at times, however, is a confusion between commonality of interests and what is lauded as like-mindedness.

Affinity Networking is, I submit, much more complex than might at first appear. Certainly much more complex than considering the commonality of interest(s) that might bring two people together.

Consider again, if you will, the BeeZers  and what brought them together into a seriously tight-knit group on beBee.

With a Little Help for My Friends...

Consider further how much more complex the relationships get if you double the number of people involved. Then double it again. And again. And ...  Well, I'm sure you get the idea about the geometric progression.

However, although the way that Affinity Networking actually works to bring people together in groups may be vastly complex, I suggest to you that the sweet spot the bullseye of any Venn diagrammatic analysis will be engagement.

Of course, I'm talking about authentic engagement, in which ideas and opinions are passed back and forth, and when people both listen to and care about what others have to say. For I believe strongly that the mortar of stable organic growth in Affinity Networking is conversation.

Conversation, however, isn't really what you see in many exchanges on beBee in particular, or on social media in general. Two or more people engaging in genuine conversation involves more than throwing generic honey-coated phrases past one another, like the sounds of horn whistles of two trains passing one another on separate tracks in the dark of night.

With a Little Help for My Friends...

 Conversation Isn't Just Politely Waiting Your Turn to Speak

One of the things that has troubled me of late is what appears to be a growing intolerance to dissenting opinion even when it is expressed politely not to mention the overt characterization of it as negative. This has, for example, been significantly evident in some in the reactions of a number of bees to some of the posts published by experienced UX practitioner, John Vaughan, who is both a beBee user and a LinkedIn member.

Admittedly, John is not the most tactful of people. (John, you are free to upbraid me for that assessment, should you so desire.) However, his points are made in an entirely civil manner and, just as importantly, he accepts and answers critical comments consistently and without complaint. Yet, some of John's analytic work published here on beBee has within my eyeshot been labeled "trollish" --- which it is most certainly not.

Why is this? My best guess is that we are being infected on beBee by team-fan spirit. And we are falling into thinking of beBee as "our hometown team". Which would not necessarily be a bad thing... unless we allow it to elicit the kind of behavior we've come to expect from some sports fans, as well as some true believers in other spheres.

And on this particular topic, I shall say no more, except that if you would like to judge for yourself, I'd recommend taking a look at a couple of John's other posts as well:

"The Mirror : Oct.12, 2016 : Trends"

"The Emperor's New Clothes : Epilog"

That said, I'd like to wrap this piece up with a suggestion to beBee concerning marketing.

I do not pretend to be a marketing gurualthough I have worked on and managed numerous marketing campaigns in regard to a variety of businesses, both my own and those of others.

Neither do I pretend to be a social media gurualthough I have been writing and blogging online for more than ten years (on my own websites, as well as on those of others) and active on social media per se since for more than five.

Consequently, that which follows is only an expression of my best-considered opinion, and not represented in any way to be "The Truth".

With a Little Help for My Friends...

The beBee  cheerleaders should stop positioning the platform directly opposite LinkedIn in the market... unless they are prepared to verbally duke it out on the facts and merits of the inevitable comparison(s).

Phil Friedman in If I Do Say So Myself
Indeed, even if they (and beBee) are so prepared, they (and beBee) need to be willing to take the counter-punches.  And make no mistake; there will be counter-punches that land. As that is the nature of social media.

My question is why invite the verbal fisticuffs in the first place? BeBee has a seriously large number of differentiating features and positives. So, why not take the high road by emphasizing and marketing those, rather than devolving into the same kind of senseless picayune skirmishes that constantly crop up between MAC and PC users?

The high road is paved with frankness and honesty. It is clear of exaggeration and spin. And it is free of defensiveness and name-calling. It also follows the way of open and frank discussion and expression of ideas and opinions. Without recrimination.

There is any number of sound and powerful arguments in favor of beBee taking a strong position among the major social media platforms. And there is a large number of credible independent writers and users on beBee who can and are ready to make the case to followers and connections they have built up on other platforms. My suggestion is to let them do so, by seeing what they are doing for the positive that  it is, not for what you may think of negative, just because it is not honey coated.  Phil Friedman

Afterword:  An article like this always runs the danger of sounding preachy. I assure you that it is not intended to be so. My objective here is to stimulate reflection and open exchange of ideas and opinions. I believe that ultimately the best way to build stable organic growth for beBee is to establish for it a reputation as being a place where where one can speak one's mind on substantive topics, and enter into meaningful conversations with other with whom one shares common interests. Consequently, whether you agree or disagree with what I've said, feel free to comment and voice your opinion. Vive Afinity Networking!

Author's Notes:   If you're interested in the topics touched upon in this post, you may find it interesting to read Kevin Pashuk's powerful post "I Don't Get No Respect".

And If you found this post interesting and worthwhile, and would like to receive notifications of my writings on a regular basis, click the [FOLLOW] button on my beBee profile. As a writer-friend of mine says, you can always change your mind later.

Should you be curious about some of my previous postings about the publishing platforms of both LinkedIn and beBee, you can take a look at some of the following:

"Building Engagement on Social Media"

"Affinity Networking Is On the Line"

"Arrogant Control Is Not Leadership on Social Media... Or Anywhere Else"

"Take Your Algorithm and Shove It!"

"View Count on Pulse Posts Headed to Oblivion"

"Publishing in the Shadow of the LinkedIn Oracle"

"Lessons Learned from Publishing in the Shadow of the LinkedIn Oracle"

As well, feel free to "like" and "share" this post and my other articles — whether on beBee, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, or Google+, provided only that you credit me properly as the author, and include a live link to my original post.

About me, Phil FriedmanWith 30 some years background in the marine industry, I've worn numerous hats — as a yacht designer, boat builder, marine operations and business manager, marine industry consultant, marine marketing and communications specialist, yachting magazine writer and editor, yacht surveyor, and marine industry educator. I am also trained and experienced in interest-based negotiation and mediation.

In a previous life, I was formally trained as an academic philosopher and taught logic and philosophy at university.

The (optional-to-read) pitch: As a professional writer, editor, university educator, and speaker, with more than 1,000 print and digital publications, I've recently launched an online program for enhancing your expository writing: learn2engage — With Confidence. My mission is to help writers and would-be writers improve their thought and writing, master the logic of discussion, and strengthen their ability to deal with disagreement.

With a Little Help for My Friends...

To schedule an appointment for a free 1/2-hour consult email: I look forward to speaking with you soon.

With a Little Help for My Friends...

                                          Image Credits:  Phil Friedman,, and Google Images

With a Little Help for My Friends...

jallow hamba 21/12/2016 · #273

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jallow hamba 21/12/2016 · #272

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jallow hamba 21/12/2016 · #271

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Robert Cormack 26/11/2016 · #270

"Brand building" seems to be the thing these days. I'm in the middle of an article called "Stop Worrying About Being Published" outlining what I went through. Should be a real turnoff to most aspiring writers (myself included) #269

+1 +1
Phil Friedman 26/11/2016 · #269

#268 Robert, I take your point that "There comes a point when too much temerity becomes a turnoff—not that it isn't given with the best of intentions."

Which is why --- personally being on "the cusp" of becoming crusty -- I now try to refrain from post critical comments on the posts of others, unless I know from prior experience that they welcome frank and open discussion. And I reserve my preaching and gadflying to my own posts, which can be ignored by anyone who is not interested in the kinds of discussions that my writing sometimes generates. Seems like a reasonable live and let live policy, right?

Well, apparently not. For there are those who express discomfort with many of the things I publish in my own posts -- such as this one -- and say clearly that my work is "too negative". Ironically, a number of these are the same people who seem to love the 1,001 posts floating around about how valuable it is to "get out of your comfort zone".

I agree with you when you imply, if not exactly say that most people are on social media to preen and strut. Certainly, that is the ethos that is intentionally propagated on LinkedIn, where one is told ad nauseum that the primary goal is to be seen and make oneself heard in the service of building one's "personal brand". The question that continues in my mind, however, is whether the goal is to "be on social media" or rather to use social media as a bridge to worldwide conversations. Cheers!

+1 +1
Robert Cormack 26/11/2016 · #268

I don't disagree, Phil. We want to stay "on point" and hope others do as well. What raises concerns (or it certainly did on WriterBeat) were the number of crusty old men who wanted to let loose with invective. Being close the a "crusty old man" myself, I've tended to temper my comments, hoping people don't see me jumping from the cusp to the other side. There comes a point when too much temerity becomes a turnoff—not that it isn't given with the best of intentions. People don't tend to join social media sites to be scolded or lectured or told they're idiots. That's what I've found, anyway, and why I left WriteBeat. #267

Phil Friedman 25/11/2016 · #267

#266 Robert Cormack > "... there's nothing wrong with civility but, I agree, it shouldn't be at the expense of expression and what someone believes. I want to hear different viewpoints, and I've left far more social media sites because nobody was saying anything (except compliments)..."

Thank you, Robert, for reading and joining the conversation. And welcome to a pretty small and exclusive group of writers and other users here on beBee who are willing to say publicly that they value a genuine and open exchange of ideas, views, and opinions over an insipid river of meaningless, knee-jerk compliments, patting, and stroking.

For the record, I personally do not mind sardonic comments on my posts or remarks, provided only that they are on-point and have some argumentative substance. For example, I don't mind someone telling me that I have my head where the sun never shines, as long as they back that up with reasons for disagreeing with what I'm saying. But I rarely go that far in my preaching about the value of dissent and disagreement because most people on social media recoil from anything other than the mildest of language... and instead always preface my exhortations to lively discussion with the "civility" qualifier. Thank you for reading and commenting. Cheers!

Robert Cormack 25/11/2016 · #266

If I can add something here, Phil. Last year about this time, WriterBeat asked if they could post one of my pieces. I agreed and was invited to share comments with their growing number of contributors. Thinking I was joining a community of like-minded writers and journalists, I found myself instead viciously attacked and called a "bozo" (also a knuckle dragger). I fought tooth and nail until a very, very intelligent woman (formerly with the state department), told me: "Don't worry, they're just letting off steam." Seems WriterBeat had a whole corral ready to call anyone a "bozo," which turned into a daily donnybrook of some truly weird and sometimes litigious comments. Funnily enough, after eight months of that, I didn't mind the name-calling so much (and I love to fight), but the essence of the comments kept degenerating (Bible thumpers are the worst). I think in answer to your post, Phil, there's nothing wrong with civility but, I agree, it shouldn't be at the expense of expression and what someone believes. I want to hear different viewpoints, and I've left far more social media sites because nobody was saying anything (except compliments). At the same time, I don't want to be abusive (or abused) either unless I deserve it (and I often do). If people have a problem with tone, it's like pornography, ignore it. Don't say it can't exist. There's room for everybody.